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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 4-way
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tomorrow is a full day of trying to hammer out a separation agreement in a four-way at my lawyer's office. I'm not holding out hope that X will be reasonable.

When you read about 4-ways you never think it will involve a couple of lawyers. Either way, though, the chances of getting screwed are pretty high.

I asked my lawyer if I should bring anything other than a wall to bang my head on. She said that I don't need anything other than what I already provided...they can provide the wall.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 595 | Registered: Aug 2013
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about one of those stress balls?


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1553 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, when I clicked on this I kinda knew this was not what the title made it seem. Good luck tomorrow, hope it goes as well as it possibly can. Maybe wear a helmet if you see yourself putting your head into a wall multiple times. Sending strength.


"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn." - C.S. Lewis

Posts: 881 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ativan and stress ball...check.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 595 | Registered: Aug 2013
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MOS...you have the wrong forum. I think the 4-way you're thinking of would be more likely to pop up in the New Beginnings forum.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 595 | Registered: Aug 2013
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MOS...you have the wrong forum. I think the 4-way you're thinking of would be more likely to pop up in the New Beginnings forum.

Didn't seem like your typical S/D topic, no.

So, meeting with 2 lawyers and your stbxw? Ativan, stressball, helmet, cross, garlic, and silver bullets should have you covered. Good luck!


"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn." - C.S. Lewis

Posts: 881 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took garlic to my mediation - you know the ones in a bag that look like a sock full of rocks? My lawyer laughed out loud in the quiet waiting room when I showed him.

It helped ease my anxiety and reminded me that I was not defenceless against this blood sucking parasite.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5443 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SBB,

A sock full of coins might also do the trick...but garlic is definitely better against the blood sucking variety.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 595 | Registered: Aug 2013
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Idk if it will help any to add, but actually, it stems from my legal secretary days, but I never attended a 4 way without a notebook and pen.

In court, it had to all be extended or continued because I actually caught Perv and his lawyer trying to fix the papers in a way that we did not agree at the 4 ways. It is for tax purposes. And my notes for the judge saved the "problem".

I wrote every single thing down for my own records -it's just how I am-but at some meetings my lawyer didn't have this or that and I did. Then I brought the papers and notebook to the next ones, also and kind of like in counseling, could follow better what was happening.

For me, anyway, it got to be some very quick conversations and it helped to have to read later, also. I learned with the two lawyers that they would bring papers only for the meeting at hand, where I brought everything and it could get done sooner that way. It even happened today in court.

Also, one thing I learned today, is that sometimes they slip things in the agreement on the last day before signing, so read, read read! And then, read it one more time! By doing this, I saved a major thing in our lives today and if I had just signed it today, would've lost huge. A one liner, little blurb at the end of a paragraph that I only noticed because it was a different shaped paragraph.

Good luck.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 9:13 PM, May 27th (Tuesday)]


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

4 ways are an interesting dynamic. If you feel you want to talk to your lawyer alone speak up!

The 4 way was held in XH's lawyers office. I liked that every time I wanted to talk to my lawyer in private - they had to get up and leave. I know it's petty. For once I had him jumping up and down at my discretion.
Good luck,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4856 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kajem, I liked that part, too!

And I've always expected a bill for the tissues!


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 11

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