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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Std Testing Done. Humiliating Process...
DyingInside21
♀ Member
Member # 42860
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Finally got to see my doctor last Friday for my yearly check up and had the humiliating task of letting her know why I was asking for a full STD testing work up.

In my almost 40 years on this planet I have only had to have a full STD tests run twice. Once after my rape when I was in college and now, after my WH destroyed our marriage vows.

After letting me vent to her a bit she let me know that if I haven't had any issues so far, that the common ones were probably not an issue, but to be safe she ran them again. She is running blood work for the others not routinely tested for (HIV, etc..) and for HPV, which I have never routinely been tested for.
Only thing is, if I test positive for HPV there is no way to prove that he gave it to me because she said it can lay dormant for years.
One detail I needed her to confirm was the timeline of a horrible bacterial infection I had a couple of years ago. She couldn't figure it out nor could I. I wasn't testing positive for a typical yeast infection and I had never had one before. Her date in my records indicate that I got this infection within the first two months after EA turned P.

She said it is very likely that he got it from OW and shared it with me, although it's not technically an STD and I also could not prove it. Im not a big fan of coincidence. That infection was a direct reaction to his being with The Whore two months prior.
She said even if he really did use a condom every time it is possible to spread HPV and any bacterial infection with me. She said I was more susceptible simply because any new partner introduced after a long period of time with just one partner makes me more susceptible. FUCK!!!!!!

I WANNA SCREAM. I am so mad. I knew this was coming. Im just newly humiliated and mortified.
I remember it was one of the few times I asked him if he was having an A, especially since my doctor couldn't figure out what was causing my symptoms and why OTC treatment wasn't working. And he had just started the PA at that time. Makes me wonder if he only started using a condom after that incident.

Now I wait for results and go from there. This is so humiliating. Just the process of going to the lab with the reasons for my tests while my marital status states: "Married". So not okay and so not fair!!!!
Just venting, really. I have no one else to talk to about this particular detail. I haven't told anyone yet. Just waiting for results... those results will determine how I proceed.


BS (me) - 39 yo
WH - 45 yo
Together 16 years
Married 4.5 years
DS 9 yo; DS 7 yo
D-Day 3/20/14
EA: 5 years turned into PA: 2 years with OW.
WH - In IC
BS - In IC; Pursuing MC

Posts: 69 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: So California
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((DyingInside21)))

Just know that gyn professionals see this scenario many times per day & do not judge.

What your WH did was such a violation to you, akin to physical abuse.

Sending you strength


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1358 | Registered: Dec 2012
standinghere
♂ Member
Member # 34689
Frustrated  Posted: 9:27 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wasn't humiliated, but in my case I had to go to the lab where all my patients go...where I am well known...as did my wife.

I'd love to have been a fly on the wall after that visit.

However, just FYI, we do see this all the time, it becomes rather mundane and in our workdays you are just another face in the crowd who will not be remembered 5 minutes after you left the lab.


BH - Me - Late 30's (now late 40's)
WW - Her - Late 30's (now late 40's)
4 Children
Her - Love of my life...still is.
Reconciled - Partly...she can't get over it.
Her - Thunderstruck by what she did.

Posts: 945 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: USA
Scubadoo
♀ Member
Member # 43079
Happy  Posted: 9:28 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Been there, and your right it is extremely humiliating. Just thinking about being judged.
Then the phlebotomist after drawing my blood shouts out, oh wow I didn't see the dr added an HIV test. You have to sign this waiver. Great, thanks. I don't think the people standing at checkout missed a word.
My thoughts are with you. Hoping for the best.


BS (me) 42
WS (him) 48
OW (downgrade) 48
Married 11 yrs
DS 9
DD 8
D-day 10/27/13
8mth

Posts: 93 | Registered: Apr 2014
DyingInside21
♀ Member
Member # 42860
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone!! I know intellectually that I am one of many in the eyes of the lab and my doctor. It just brought it all up again. This doctor visit came on the heels of finding out how many "dates" he has had with her as I went through all of his bank statements from the secret account he opened and has just added me to.
Having little ones at home makes it hard to just release the anguish whenever I want. I have to stifle a lot and then release when I can.

Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst. (((TO ALL OF YOU)))


BS (me) - 39 yo
WH - 45 yo
Together 16 years
Married 4.5 years
DS 9 yo; DS 7 yo
D-Day 3/20/14
EA: 5 years turned into PA: 2 years with OW.
WH - In IC
BS - In IC; Pursuing MC

Posts: 69 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: So California
burnedcanuckEMS
♀ Member
Member # 35813
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Been there, done that. I was crying so hard when I asked to be tested after my dday that my doctor I have had for ten years had his wife do the swabs on me. She is also a doctor but only works casually - he actually called her in for me, I thought that was so considerate and kind of them. Thank god that round of tests came out clean.

Second walk of shame was when I discovered my rebound boyfriend was secretly married to a woman overseas. Yup, went from BW to OW just like that. Anyways I also had recurrent BV infection and had never had that until I was with this player. Thank god the STD tests also came back clean but I sure shit bricks until I got the results back. Now I have been a year celibate, and my annual pap is coming up, I will be glad I don't have to ask for STD tests this time LOL!

Now my friends and I laugh at the absurdity of it all and they call me the STD test queen! LOL! Honestly though, there is no shame in it, you are taking control of your health by being tested and the health care people run these tests every day and see much worse situations than ours. Really its no big deal!

I am sending positive thoughts and wishes your tests come back clean!


Me: BW 38, Him: WH 37
M: 07/07/07
DDay: 06/09/12
Divorce Granted on December 5, 2012 - fasted divorce ever (thanks to my good lawyer) and I am not looking back with ANY regrets!!

"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"


Posts: 236 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Alberta
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do NOT be ashamed, do not be humiliated.

This is NOT your doing, and not your guilt to bear. I would make damn sure that your H has his junk tested, and go with him, and offer to be the swabee when the specimens are obtained.

These idiotic Waywards believe because their AP has rainbow colored shit that their magic Vajayjays, and Wankers are full of perfection, and white light. I can tell you I was full throttle pissed when he admitted they "didn't always use protection." I almost, made him leave then I was so mad. As a healthcare professional that saw the epidemic of Chlamydia and Condaloma in college I was forever on my soapbox about protection.

Anyway. I hope your results are all good. You should be proud of taking your heal into your own hands.

(((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8229 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
DyingInside21
♀ Member
Member # 42860
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Update:

Got the call from my doctors office and everything came back negative!!! HIV results couldn't be given over the phone, but she said, "You don't have to rush in for the results, *wink, *wink".

I was so relieved, I cried. And then I got mad and then I cried angry tears again.
Just so upset that he would risk my health that way and then put me through the torture of getting tested AGAIN!
I feel so violated AGAIN.

When you are in a long term relationship or are married, you don't ever expect to have to do this. It's one of the perks, right?

Trying to compose myself now so that I can lay into him one more time. I may write him a letter first so that I don't cry or yell. Still deciding.

Thanks for all of the kind, supportive words. (((HUGS)))


BS (me) - 39 yo
WH - 45 yo
Together 16 years
Married 4.5 years
DS 9 yo; DS 7 yo
D-Day 3/20/14
EA: 5 years turned into PA: 2 years with OW.
WH - In IC
BS - In IC; Pursuing MC

Posts: 69 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: So California
12yearsloyal
♀ Member
Member # 43064
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just got this testing done myself last week. And yes it was humiliating. I told the young doc that my H had an A. I have not gotten my results back yet but will call them tomorrow. I am not worried because WH got tested a few weeks ago and came back negative. Still we should not have to go thru this due to selfish pigs that we have married and ARE loyal to. I still get flashes in my mind of him laying with the ugly whore. His ugly island girl, only a blind man would think she was attractive and that is no joke.


Him: WS, Selfish, mental, mid-life crisis LTA EA PA
Me: BS American, Blonde, thin, attractive (and none of that mattered)
OW: Caribbean whore (RuPaul is better looking)
What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?

Posts: 161 | Registered: Apr 2014
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:20 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has your WH been tested yet? Have you seen the results?


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7318 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 5:46 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((DI21)))
I am happy for you.

Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
mchercheur
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, WH never even thought about STDs, because "OW is such a NICE girl."


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1358 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 12

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