by Gottman.... I have a lot of his books and didn't own this one. Someone here suggested it too. Me not trusting hubby enough is one of his biggest issues with me.
There is a passage about healing from betrayal starting on page 378 that is very focused on how we must go from step to step to heal and stay in the relationship.
He also states that some things are too big to forgive and that forgiving would be detrimental to a person's soul.
This guy's work is very scientific, and at times, hard to read. But his research on marriage is probably the most in depth and current.
So, I got this book and told hubby about it. Turned up his nose at it.
The hard thing about some of our communication is that he would be so much further along if he read or spent time at places like SI. We could actually talk about some of these things that come up. But he won't. And that is his choice. And I can't do it for him. But the fixer, co-dependent part of me thinks we could be so much further along if he did this.
Well, at least I will have more knowledge under my belt, which will help me heal. And ya know, be a walking encyclopedia on infidelity.
his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...