I am an absolute wreck, barely functioning, losing weight so fast I'm down to nothing. I cry and wallow and have suicidal thoughts. BH is the one comforting ME when it should be the other way around- so this causes additional guilt. I feel terrible that BH is having to pull me through when I should be the strong one. He's being so kind. I do not deserve it.
Has anyone had a similar experience? I'm in therapy and recently medicated by a psychiatrist. I spend a lot of time at church and with good friends. I'm not sure what else to do.
You are worthy. You are more than your past: it, alone, does not define you nor does it need to limit you. Reach.
Church, friends, meds, IC/MC all seem like positive steps in the right direction. Keep going!
I am an absolute wreck, barely functioning, losing weight so fast I'm down to nothing. I cry and wallow and have suicidal thoughts. BH is the one comforting ME when it should be the other way around- so this causes additional guilt.
For me it was a combination of the support of a few close family members and friends who knew about the A, IC, my church, and time that pulled me through it. During the 4th month I finally received some of the initial healing I needed to be able to help BH with his own triggers and emotional needs. But honestly, there are still times where I'm struggling more than BH and I've come to accept that that's okay. Each person is going to heal differently. There is no handbook and everyone's timeline is different but keep going! It sounds like you're doing everything right. I realize that's so much easier said than done but it can only get better from here. The A does not define you nor is the trauma you feel right now the rest of your life.
Me: WW (32)
Him: BH (37)
1 DS, 1 DD, and 1 DD on the way
Married 13 years
In IC and MC