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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I'm itchy
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, May 28th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel itchy. MC today. We had only one blippy day in 4 weeks and I feel pretty good about this. So does MC. We talked about our blip - about how we just canít have healthy conflict. It spirals out of control into defensiveness, hurt and misunderstandings. I apologized for asking him about something before work. MC got after him for the techniques he uses that donít help. And when hubby says, ďitís never enoughĒ MC stops him right there and says donít do that Ė itís provocative.

We talked about him going to events and how he went to one a couple weeks ago but we were feeling connected and he told me about it before hand so I had no problem with him going. But then we ended with him telling me about several outings he has to go to this summer as someone in his position. And that was too much and now Iím uncomfortable. Iíll worry. About what Iím not sure. I donít think Iím horribly worried about him seeing either OW, maybe a little, or wanting to start something with someone else. He seems very committed. But he also says he has passed up many of these events for my sake and he doesnít want to resent it that he misses out on business because of my need for safety. This I donít get. I donít understand. I donít understand how someone on their third chance would harbor any resentment for making their spouse feel safe. Heís not cheating, I know this and can feel it. But why isnít it enough for me?

AndÖ itís like he gets the best any life could be after all the affairs happened. He gets to keep his wife and his job. Of course I realize heíd like a life with a wife that hadnít cheated. That his life will never be what he wanted. What a huge sacrifice. Is that sacrifice ongoing? Probably, to some extent. Heck he had a horrible vivid dream that I had an affair with Ben Roethlisburger, of all people, and woke up pissed. And this was four plus years after my affair.

But he gets to do his thing. Iím constantly looking over my shoulder or wondering. I cried as we talked, asking him to just honor this sacrifice Iím making about how much longer and harder our recovery will be because of all the triggers here. We talked about the comment he made about seeing hot girls at yoga and would he tell me about that. Why even say that? Hubby said he sees good looking people every day. He said I see them every day (I really donít. Iím a teacher). But I cannot be attracted to someone I donít know. He said he couldnít either. Not sure I believe that from a man but thatís what he said.

I just feel all itchy. Like ok, is this it? Whereís the good stuff? Sure, Iíve learned more about myself. I know boundaries, how to be a remorseful wayward spouse, etc. There are some that would say, but he has to live with himself for doing that to you.. He doesnít think like this. He thinks ďok when do I get my life back.Ē And thatís why I canít stop scratching.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

ďFollow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and donít take any shit.Ē


Posts: 5491 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
918Mama
♀ Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 2:11 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Rachelc)))

Oh honey. I don't have any good advice for you but someone will.

Maybe just try to slow things down and take each day as it comes? Maybe take each of the events and talk about them and determine whether there are things that can be done to help you feel safe and him feel like he's not constantly being punished?

And maybe try to enjoy the fact that there's only been one big blip in four weeks?

This stuff is hard. I'm sorry you're going through this. I can tell you I relate and recently asked my H what he really had to give up. What were his sacrifices?? Of course, no answer will ever be good enough. But I too sometimes feel like he got to keep it all, and where's the justice in that?? I think at some point we have to stop playing judge and jury.


Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 600 | Registered: Dec 2012
sunvalley
♀ Member
Member # 42952
Default  Posted: 2:16 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a tough one Rachel. I understand his need to be at these events, especially if they are work related, but if it triggers you it certainly makes it harder. My H has a hobby that triggers me. It does because he lied about going to the hobby to meet the OW at times in the past. Problem being, he also needs to work on his self esteem and enjoyment in life...this hobby helps with both. IC and MC have both suggested he keep up with the hobby because just as I need to do things for me, he has to do things for him sometimes too. And I do get that, it's just harder when the one thing he loves in this world besides his family was abused and lied about for the As.

He has been amazing about going though - he uses a gopro to record his entire drive to meet the guys...shows the clock on the dash, and the house in the background, then the whole drive followed by actually showing the guys waiting for him once he arrives. He says sometimes he gets a funny look or two, but he doesn't care if it makes me feel safer. He also used to have to travel for work at times, but brought the OW with him so he no longer travels for work at this point...he knows that one is a little too far out of the comfort zone still. I have not asked once for him to do this, it's just what he does to help me feel safe.

I also don't feel he is cheating anymore, I believe him. You asked why it's not enough for you. Perhaps because he is voicing some resent or because you feel he is choosing these events over you? Maybe there is something more he can do for you to make you feel safe, but still allow him to go to the events? Compromise is something that's hard to trust that you can do again as the BS, but eventually it has to be done 'when the occasions are right' to build a healthy balance in the M again (I'm not saying to put aside your needs for your grieving process too soon or allow activities that would trigger you badly and make you uncomfortable) - it's just that we can't live the rest of our lives expecting them to do everything we ask of them to make up for what they've done, it's tempting now cause we're still hurting but eventually balance and compromise have to return to make the M healthy. I sometimes get tempted to make him stay home from the hobby, just cause I feel like after Dday and his desire to please me now I have the ability to cut that cord...I've never had that option before, the hobby always came first...but I realize that would be petty of me to do it for those reasons, so I resist saying anything unless we have something important going on that day.

I think you have to ask yourself what specifically is bothering you about these events and what can he do to help you feel safer about him going. If there is nothing he can do to help you and you just genuinely don't want him there, then hopefully he respects that because that is genuine remorse. If you can compromise on a way that him going will work for both of you, with no one feeling they are put in an uncomfortable position, then that will help the M IMO as well. It was really hard at first to let my H continue his hobby, but it has gotten easier over time. I'm in no way suggesting this is the way you will have to deal with your situation, we each choose what we are comfortable with. But I do get the sense that you're more bothered about his view on missing out (perhaps it feels like his remorse isn't 100% if he's not considering your needs?), more than the idea of him actually going.


Dday July 2013
Me: BW mid 30s
Him: WH mid 30s
4PAs, multiple online As

Posts: 765 | Registered: Mar 2014
brooke4
♀ Member
Member # 13581
Default  Posted: 4:28 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heís not cheating, I know this and can feel it. But why isnít it enough for me?

Because not cheating is the bare minimum. It's like your kid coming home with a D and saying, well it's not an F, and expecting that to be enough.

I know this sounds weird, but it seems like maybe what your H is lacking is a generosity of spirit in R. Maybe he just doesn't get what it takes to make someone feel safe? Or maybe he doesn't care?

I don't know your whole story, but were his A's 'revenge affairs'? If so, is it possible that he's never really worked through his issues over your A and that this is a p/a way of dealing with that? It almost seems like keeping you from feeling really comfortable is a way for him to feel like he holds the power in the marriage.

I'm sorry there's no easy marital antihistamine. If there were, I suspect a lot of us would have resorted to it at some point.

(((rachelc)))


Me: BS, 40, Him: WS 41
Married: 15 years
3 children
D-Day: 10/2005

Posts: 1509 | Registered: Feb 2007
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But he also says he has passed up many of these events for my sake and he doesnít want to resent it that he misses out on business because of my need for safety. This I donít get. I donít understand. I donít understand how someone on their third chance would harbor any resentment for making their spouse feel safe

^^^Resentment is not a sign of true remorse. My WH has pretty much passed up 98% of events, and he does not resent it one bit. WH does a fantastic job on the job, and these events are just part of the culture and optional. I see many invites that go through his email, and not everyone attends these events.

I think you have to ask yourself what specifically is bothering you about these events and what can he do to help you feel safer about him going. If there is nothing he can do to help you and you just genuinely don't want him there, then hopefully he respects that because that is genuine remorse. If you can compromise on a way that him going will work for both of you, with no one feeling they are put in an uncomfortable position, then that will help the M IMO as wel

^^Great advice.

Food for thought.... I *KNOW* just a small part of me harbors resentment bc of the fact that pre-A my WH attended many events abandoning me and the kids as his job was his #1 priority. One night I had a final exam, he *had* to attend the company Christmas party. The babysitter didn't show up (just one of many, many times I needed him). His actions hurt like hell, and I had a difficult time communicating it at the time. After the A, I had had enough of being lonely and living my life pretty much as a single mom. Our children are grown, but that resentment still lingers....he was out having a great time at our expense while I was always home doing what moms do and not much more. Perhaps there's a bit of that old resentment lingering in your situation as well.

He thinks ďok when do I get my life back.Ē

He has his life...his career, his wife, his children, friends of the marriage, gym activities. Everything that MATTERS.


Posts: 7628 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've thought about what you mentioned annb. I was abandoned with little kids as well, so he could further his career. However, he did all of this for the good of the family and didn't know better. His way of expressing love was providing for the family. I have forgiven him for doing that.

Things are different now. We don't need him to be perfect at his job. I do appreciate the events he has missed for my safety and have told him as much. There is nothing I can do if he wants to have an affair. So why worry about anything out of my control, which is pretty much everything?

But there is a lingering feeling of resentment in ME because of his job. I told him as much last night and he nodded like he understood. I said I will probably struggle with some of these events. I want to give up the struggle. I want to have peace. The feeling is not that he will have an affair but that he doesn't respect me.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

ďFollow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and donít take any shit.Ē


Posts: 5491 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It almost seems like keeping you from feeling really comfortable is a way for him to feel like he holds the power in the marriage.

well, this hit me over the head. Never thought about it. However, I feel my need for comfort may be a battle inside myself though.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

ďFollow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and donít take any shit.Ē


Posts: 5491 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
somethingremorse
♂ Member
Member # 42047
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to point out that your H probably feels like he is making a compromise at work. He really isn't getting his job just the way he likes it.

Not saying that he should, or his compromises are enough or anything like that. IMO, couples in our situations are full of compromises, finding an acceptable middle point for sex, therapy, talking about the A, how we spend our "free time" (whatever that is). Some of that stuff is, and always will be, a search for an acceptable middle point.

Again, your H may be doing the opposite, trying to get everything exactly the way that he wants it. But maybe not. Be mindful of what is actually happening. Don't assume anything.


Me: WH (40s)
DDay 11/03/13
In MC and IC

Posts: 741 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Pennsylvania
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to point out that your H probably feels like he is making a compromise at work. He really isn't getting his job just the way he likes it.

I believe this to be true. Right now. But I think it's headed in the way of having it how he wants it. And I guess I should be happy for him. "Yay! You've suffered enough. Here's your life back on a silver platter."

it comes at an expense. I guess I'm a sarcastic bitch today, sigh.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

ďFollow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and donít take any shit.Ē


Posts: 5491 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
sunnyrain
♀ Member
Member # 30164
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd like to see both of you get your life back.

You say you do lots of fun stuff together, but the way you describe life, the stuff is the only thing that's fun.

Is it fear that's holding you back? What's the worst that could happen?


"I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

Posts: 450 | Registered: Nov 2010
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it fear that's holding you back? What's the worst that could happen?

it can't be because I really do trust him as much as one can at this point.

The worst - is that I'll look back on all this and regret not putting my foot down more and protecting myself - ranging from being uncomfortable to being traumatized by living here. The thing I can't figure out - if I have a right to feel this way.

I regret not taking more drastic measures when he broke NC and when he had a 2nd affair.

I guess it is fear - that I'm not taking care of myself in some way. Whether that means letting go of resentment or leaving.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

ďFollow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and donít take any shit.Ē


Posts: 5491 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
sunnyrain
♀ Member
Member # 30164
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I regret not taking more drastic measures when he broke NC and when he had a 2nd affair.

What is your regret?

I guess it is fear - that I'm not taking care of myself in some way. Whether that means letting go of resentment or leaving.

Resenting yourself for not acting? Or resenting him for having a 2nd A? Or maybe both.

You know it's okay to love yourself for staying in the M, right? And you know it's okay to love him despite his flaws, right?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with having certain feelings about the past. As long as you don't bury yourself there.

I think it's admirable that you are both still together despite your affairs. This is a time to shine together going forward. Change history.


"I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

Posts: 450 | Registered: Nov 2010
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is your regret?

that I didnt' file for divorce to let him know how serious things were. and then let him figure out a way to get me back.

I am very proud of where we are - considering ALL the crap that went down. And that we had only one day of fighting in 4 weeks! By the way, MC said to pray when we fight or discuss HOW we're fighting. Not WHAT we're fighting about....

You know it's okay to love yourself for staying in the M, right?

yes, as long as I'm being respected. I'm being very giving and I'm sacrificing in this marriage. While that is the kind of person I want to be I'd like to be treated that way as well.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

ďFollow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and donít take any shit.Ē


Posts: 5491 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
sunnyrain
♀ Member
Member # 30164
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

By the way, MC said to pray when we fight or discuss HOW we're fighting. Not WHAT we're fighting about....

I love this! Thanks for sharing!

... yes, as long as I'm being respected

How do you feel you are being disrespected? Is this about him stating that he fears he might start to resent having to give up business deals?


"I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

Posts: 450 | Registered: Nov 2010
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

disrespected?
my feelings about how to be a remorseful wayward are different than his. If he expressed any hesitation in what I was doing I would not do it. Happily. However, my job is not my identity as it is his...
He claims these women aren't important. And they aren't. But they, his job where he met them, and the places around town where he dated them, trigger the heck out of me. It's like a constant slap in the face, although some of them are becoming a lot better! I would not want him to live like this.



his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

ďFollow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and donít take any shit.Ē


Posts: 5491 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
sunnyrain
♀ Member
Member # 30164
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for clarifying.

Maybe it's time to work on diffusing the triggers, not giving them so much rent space in your mind?

BTW, how frustrating is the actual trigger -vs- your perception that he's not doing enough about the trigger?

Do you think you'll ever be able to give him the benefit of the doubt and accept that he's doing the best that he's capable of at this moment in time? Or will his efforts always fall short in comparison to your own efforts?

It sounds like you want him (in his own path to healing, and in helping you heal) to be just like you because you see your own way as the better way. You've written before about how he needs you to just trust him. I'm sensing that you take offense to his needs/desires (that he should be more sensitive to you), and while I understand how you might see certain things as being disrespectful, as an outsider I can see how he might be encouraging you to have a little faith. Faith in yourself that if worse comes to worst, you will be strong enough to D, but also faith in him to do the right thing.

I'm also picking up on a little jealousy or envy when you state, "AndÖ itís like he gets the best any life could be after all the affairs happened. He gets to keep his wife and his job," and then again, "But he gets to do his thing. Iím constantly looking over my shoulder or wondering."

Any chance you are discounting the things that you ARE getting? I so want you to be happy with yourself, with your H, and with your progress together. Praying that you get clarity.


"I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

Posts: 450 | Registered: Nov 2010
ladies_first
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your husband is a bank president?

We talked about him going to events and how he went to one a couple weeks ago but we were feeling connected and he told me about it before hand so I had no problem with him going. But then we ended with him telling me about several outings he has to go to this summer as someone in his position. ...he also says he has passed up many of these events for my sake and he doesnít want to resent it that he misses out on business because of my need for safety.

What criterion are used to decide what events Mr. President does attend and what events he does not attend/sends a V.P. or other bank figurehead in his absence? At 4 years out, have you two settled on rational guidelines, or is this still a case-by-case emotional reaction based on how respected/disrespected you feel on that day?

As a teacher, do you have summers off? Can you attend a few of these summer events -- which tend to have a community oriented, family-friendly feeling -- and watch him "work the room"? You can see if he's gladhanding everyone equally, and not favoring the attractive women in the room. You can see that it *is* work, and a lot of repetitive small talk. See if you can detach from your past and just enjoy and take pride in watching your husband do his job well?


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm pretty faithful he'll do the right thing. I think the acting out is over. And he wants to be a good person... but not having an affair is very different than having a good marriage.

BTW, how frustrating is the actual trigger -vs- your perception that he's not doing enough about the trigger?

it varies but there are times when the fact that he doesnt' do anything about it makes me angrier.

Case in point: He said if he was ever alone with my AP or the guy who raped me it would be 50/50 if he would kill them. So, I feel if HE would be this angry seeing these guys to please understand how hard it is for ME to see his APs and hold my head high and not cause a scene. I feel that it is somewhat of a double standard.

I've come to the conclusion that I would like to get over the triggers for MY sake, who cares if it's fair or not.

You've written before about how he needs you to just trust him. I'm sensing that you take offense to his needs/desires (that he should be more sensitive to you),

I don't take offense to this. I just don't understand it. AND, I think trust is actually pretty good right now. But 100%, like he wants, with never trusting but verifying - no, not there.

I'm also picking up on a little jealousy or envy

yes - see above quote about the double standard. He doesn't have the trigger of seeing someone in person.

Any chance you are discounting the things that you ARE getting?

yes. I a critical person by nature. However, there is no room for error here, after two major betrayals. I am constantly telling him how great it is the things he does do for us!

What criterion are used to decide what events Mr. President does attend and what events he does not attend/sends a V.P. or other bank figurehead in his absence? At 4 years out, have you two settled on rational guidelines, or is this still a case-by-case emotional reaction based on how respected/disrespected you feel on that day?

I have no idea. He decides this based on how public the events are and the potential for the APs to be there. He does send someone in his absence. It's actually 2.5 years out from his last affair but... and I am perceiving a slight with the comment but whatever, he knows I'll have a reaction if its a place he took one of them. Sometimes a small one but I told him last night, do whatever, some days I won't be happy about it. Please honor the sacrifice I'm making.... Just tell me you fucking appreciate it or something.

I have no need to attend these events. I don't like these kind of people and as I said before, I think he wants to be in a committed marriage and will do the right thing. For sure if I was there he would not do anything to trigger me....

I know I need to make some positive movement. But all this makes me wanna GROWL!!!



his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

ďFollow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and donít take any shit.Ē


Posts: 5491 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
sunnyrain
♀ Member
Member # 30164
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rachel, thank you for your patience with my questions. While I understand that some of these things make you want to GROWL, I wanted you to know that I smiled at many of your responses (in a loving, knowing way).

For instance, as an example regarding trust:

I don't take offense to this. I just don't understand it. AND, I think trust is actually pretty good right now. But 100%, like he wants, with never trusting but verifying - no, not there.

100% trust? Why, that's insane!

and on triggers:

I've come to the conclusion that I would like to get over the triggers for MY sake, who cares if it's fair or not.

yes! that's it, for YOUR sake. :D

Thank you for the discussion today. I got a lot out of it.


"I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

Posts: 450 | Registered: Nov 2010
ladies_first
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And when hubby says, ďitís never enough.Ē

I told him last night, do whatever, some days I won't be happy about it.

So you both agree this is very much an open wound. It's still a raw spot.

I am constantly telling him how great it is the things he does do for us!

Please honor the sacrifice I'm making.... Just tell me you fucking appreciate it or something.

I see you are giving him what you need: Words of Affirmation. Are Words of Affirmation his Love Language?

ďAny chance you are discounting the things that you ARE getting?Ē yes. I a critical person by nature.

Rachel, if you first criticize him for the things he does wrong, do you believe that later "telling him how great it is the things he does do for us" evens the score? Because in "The Science of Trust" Gottman reiterates the 5-to-1 positivity ratio (even when arguing).

What about Gottman's other exercises? What if he asked you to describe a really good time you as a couple? Tell me aboutÖ Fun. Adventure. Play. Courtship. Sex. Passion. Romance. Do you have it in you?


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
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