About 2 weeks before I moved out, I suddenly became Miss Passionate, yes I did. I plastered a smile on my face and went down to his new business one night and surprised him, telling him I wanted to christen his new business - and that's exactly what we did. I made sure to move all over that place so that I'd touched just about every surface in it.
Then at home a couple nights later, I ambushed him and made sure to once again 'leave my mark' in virtually every spot I could possibly get in the course of the night.
LOL - there was nothing left untouched when I was done with him.
A week or so later on the morning I was moving out of his place, I secretly tucked a card into the top drawer of his nightstand. He never went in his nightstand and would never find it - but I knew his fat-ass OW would have her stalker nose in everything within 8 minutes of my moving out and that card was solely for her benefit, not his.
In the card, I told him that even though we weren't able to make it as a couple, these last few days had been a blast, going at it like jack-rabbits and what-not. I then proceeded to mention how much fun it had been for us and I listed everywhere we'd touched - all over his new business office, on top of his parked motorcycle (yup, even there!!) all the kitchen counters and all the other rooms and surfaces we managed to hit all over his house. Literally, she wasn't going to be able to touch a THING without knowing my butt had been there recently.
I finished the card off by saying even though we weren't so great as a couple, these last few nights sure had been off the charts and since I'd touched just about surface at his work and home, it would probably be a long time before he'd see them normally again. Yeah, I laid it on thick.
Sure enough, within 2 days, he was whining and crying on the phone to me that she'd found a card I'd left for him in his nightstand and I acted very indignant, telling him she had some nerve digging through his stuff and opening a very private card I'd left JUST for him! Hmmmpf!!
She's a true psycho so she was going looney on him and the ex was ready to rip off his own eyelids and feed them to the wolverines.
Yeah, that was just too much fun. Like shooting fish in a barrel.
[This message edited by NeverAgain2013 at 11:14 AM, May 29th (Thursday)]
My all time favourite was a few weeks after I found out, I had too much to drink (duh!) and emailed the OW photos off of my iPhone of all the lives she's ruined. One of them was a photo of my mother's head, post brain surgery which was HIDEOUS. Still...my girl friends made me laugh when they said, well, thank God she hadn't had a hysterectomy....The other pictures were of the kids etc...The next day my husband said he got a text from her (the second and last text to my knowledge) where she accused me of being abusive and threatening. I wasn't technically threatening...
Other random things like hiding my husband's passport, crushing his sunglasses, throwing away his favourite cork-screw. It did take me days to recall where I had put the passport...
Good times as the Mayor of Crazy Town I say! Bring them on!
Whatever doesn't kill you...doesn't kill you.
Burned our Decorative marriage license. Left all the wedding photos and the cross stitched "wedding announcement" I made in the house when I moved out. - This was cathartic.
And the common, tracked him on cell phone GPS, called every number his cell had called trying to find Craig List OW's number. - This was miserable.
Then I truly went psychotic and checked myself into the hospital so I wouldn't carryout my plan to become a widow. - This was hell, but very necessary.
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...
Then I truly went psychotic and checked myself into the hospital so I wouldn't carryout my plan to become a widow. - This was hell, but very necessary
Me too. It was the smartest decision that I have ever made.
Both feet pointed forward; positive
He owns his own company, i used keylogger software to hack the account and got the contacts for every one of his customers. I drafted a fake email as if he were gay to send to all of the construction companies and home owners he has done business with. Thankfully, a very strong and caring friend talked me out of it just in time!
DDay 1 - 1/13, False Recovery Discovered more + Broken NC so DDay 7/14.
8/14: Headed for D. Telling kids and he is moving out this weekend.
BW: 42 (me)
WH: 40 (him)
Good thing I did, because I did actually catch them having lunch together twice, after Dday, when WH was insisting there was no contact.
I also put a VAR in WH's car, but was never able to find out much with that.
I also would drive to his IC, during his session, & search his car---I did find more evidence by doing that.
[This message edited by mchercheur at 12:04 PM, May 29th (Thursday)]
[This message edited by MakingMyFuture at 12:15 PM, May 29th (Thursday)]
However, I still consider posting "Men Wanted" flyers all over the county that instruct them to go to her physical address for a good time....
I have burnt stuff...a lot of stuff...piles of clothes, bedding, beds, chairs, sofa, cards, gifts, letters, scarves etc. I never said a word just had a HUGE bonfire.
I then smashed and trashed key rings and other tawdry momentos.
I did such a good job over time that when my WH found two items when we moved house he smashed one and burnt the other...all without saying a word!
And yes I considered all the other stuff but the bunny boiler was so insane she made me look like Julie Andrews!
She didn't deserve you anyway, h0peless. :/
Thanks. I know that now! At the time, though, I was in the middle of two weeks without any sleep and a little more than a month without eating anything and I wasn't my usual rational self. I really took her blame shifting to heart because I felt like I could save my marriage (to a cold, unfeeling, empathy lacking, selfish, terrible person) if only I would do things like fold the laundry RIGHT when the buzzer on the dryer went off instead of waiting an hour and letting things get a little bit wrinkly, or do the dishes every night instead of every other night. That's why it was so insane. My ex was objectively pretty horrible to me and my self-esteem was so shot and I was so codependent that I thought I deserved it.
I'm much better now.
[This message edited by h0peless at 5:43 PM, May 29th (Thursday)]
I was the kind of person who would order water in a bar. Never tried beer until 2012 after the divorce. I don't like red wine and I tolerate blush wine and mixed drinks.
The one thing I DID discover while married to him was ICE WINE. I LOVED ICE WINE. For those of you who don't know about this delicacy, it comes in a bottle smaller than a standard wine bottle and is WAY FREAKING EXPENSIVE. Not something a non rich person can keep consuming. On a vacation, we bought a bottle that cost over $100 to consume on a very SPECIAL occasion.
Fast forward 2008, he pissed me off and hurt me for the 11 millionth time in 60 days since I found out about his dalliance. The cruelty was unbearable. I slammed the phone done and grabbed bottle and drank the whole thing. He was PISSED.
[This message edited by Guinness23 at 7:25 AM, May 31st (Saturday)]
47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.
What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that
My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23
I set up another myspace profile. Identical to hers. Same profile, same photos, same stupid "about me" surveys. My kids were still little enough for nap time back then.
I copied the email, then deleted it from his inbox. Pasted it in my fake profile, resent it. They emailed each other through me for a couple months. I found a lot of stuff out. He never did know how I knew everything I knew.
I changed all his dating profiles to say he was looking for men for one night stands.
I changed the computer password to "WeatherlyMarriedAnAsshole" and wouldn't tell him how to change it.
He held me down one night, wouldn't let me up. I tried very hard to kick out the bedroom window so the neighbors would hear me scream. Not worrying about the damage that might do to me.
Finally, when he actually left, I sent him with most our wedding pictures, and a folder I had of bullshit love letters he'd written me. At the top of each one I wrote something like "I never deserved any of this, you say so yourself right here. I'm awesome." (Last I knew, he still had the folder, oddly enough)
Looking back now, I realize, I should have just left his ass. And, I know he uses all of it as justification for his bullshit. But, at the time it all seemed perfectly reasonable to a 22 yr old practically newly wed.
It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end
Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.
I think my psycho one was parking down the street from her apt & watching her for 2 days with no sleep.
Next was marking his tires with chaulk when he got home then checking in the morning to see if he snuck out.
I had a friend do a fake FB and "watch" her for 3 months.
I am so glad that all of my out of control thoughts for retribution are "normal".
I have a file with every email the Bunny Boiler sent to my fWH. She was stupid enough to even send some of these emails to me, trying to sabotage my relationship with my fWH. In one email, it had a chain that pretty much gave a timeline of her dating and having men live in her house before she was divorced from her now XH. She was emailing and sleeping with a few other men besides my H, from 2008 to 2010. She didn't get divorced until 2010. I think she was trying to send a portion of the email where my H was bad-mouthing me. However, in the chain was all of the other "relationship details" that incriminated her being unfaithful and lying in their court proceedings! I sent all of those emails to her XH so he could take her back to court and gain custody of their children. I sent her X all of the "I'm suicidal" emails she sent my fWH so he could solidify his case against her unstable mental state and lifestyle. I sent the pictures of her sticking out her stomach pretending to be pregnant and the ultrasound picture she sent to me, trying again to sabotage my marriage. Her ex told me that the ultrasound she sent was her sisters youngest child!!!!
I'm not sure how their custody hearing went, but I do know that her X told me that she foreclosed on their house. And then she moved in to a rental home with a dude she had only known for a couple months. Karma, Karma, Karma!!!!!
OW is on an "amateur" picture sharing site. That is where WH started talking to her and his A began. OW has a thread where she shares her pictures and these men (and women) comment on them, telling her how amazing she is and all the ways they want to F her...
I created a login (male) and started posting about how hot she is and that by looking at her older pictures, it's apparent that she's gained weight recently and it's so hot. When her admirers tried to make her feel better, I commented about the recent pictures and pointed out how amazing her double chin was in one pic, and how hot her stretch marks were in another one. And ok, I also told her that the way her @$$ cheeks sagged between her thighs was totally hot.
She deleted all the pictures I pointed out. She also commented that now she was conflicted, because others had told her she's lost weight recently (I usually use a scale, guess I'm weird).
So there it is, I trolled her and it was great. I'll probably do it again. It felt great and I didn't need any xanax!