I wonder WHY they would do this?
IMO it could be they are embarrassed by their own actions and strike out at us when we ask questions because their own memories are painful to relive. Being brutal with the truth would likely prevent further questioning.
Maybe our WS are still in a fog such that they blame us for their choice to have a affair. Sort of like: *you made me do this. so now I am going to hurt you back when you ask me about it* They blame us as the cause of their actions. And want to strike back at us to hurt us over what we made them do.
"You can't fix a broken man, but he can break you"
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.
I KNOW there has been NO correlation to quality of sex and the size of a lover's penis. It is really, REALLY about the emotions, the fun, the curiosity, the excitement, the courage to try, and staying emotionally real.
Try very, very hard to remove that intentionally vicious comment from your belief system. I don't care if you NEVER get another hard-on again for the rest of your life, you can be an EXTRAORDINARY lover. Your sex life can be fun and loving and adventurous and all about whatever the two of you want.
I replied, "... I wouldn't believe you...."
[This message edited by tfkeel at 5:49 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]
I think that your WW was deliberately lying to you just to be cruel. I'm sorry, but she sounds like she was a calculatingly cruel person.
Plus in my experience, it doesn't matter how "endowed" a man is or isn't. You don't have to have the perfect body to be a great lover. In fact, there are those who have a "buff" physique and are terrible lovers.
My x was the best sex I ever had until he cheated. He then became the second worst. Why? Because good sex starts in my brain and heart and when I realized he didn't deserve the pedestal I had put him on the sex became mediocre at best. mediocre with mind movies. blech.
Some women, as they get older, find less need for sex and a greater need for emotional bonding and comfort. I think if you love and trust your wife you should talk to her about this instead of assuming the worst.
I think that your WW was deliberately lying to you just to be cruel.
Every time I think of her, a passage of scripture comes into my mind:
See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. For you know that even afterwards, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought for it with tears.
It occurs to me now that she, after time, desired to "inherit" her "blessing", and have a loving husband and unbroken family.
But, the place for repentance, alas, was gone.
I wonder WHY they would do this?
I have learned the answer, in my case. Even after 27 years, some things still didn't make sense.
I have learned that my W's "complete truth" was PROPAGANDA.
The basic REAL truth was that she WANTED to cheat.
She was using the "complete truth" as a CON. A "set-up" for the NEXT cheat. An EXCUSE for the current affair to continue, if she could make it
She, of course, did not cheat because of me. Not because of my lack of "size", not because of my physique, not because of my "low sex drive", not for any of those reasons.
She cheated because she WANTED TO. She was "addicted" to the feelings and the "strokes" of it. She was proving herself worthy of womanhood by her ability to "steal" a man.