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User Topic: Phrase that takes you back to square one?
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Many of us recall a song, smell that revives that memory so vividly. I am describing good memories.


How about the phrase that takes us back to bitch mode. I know some consider that a trigger.
Mine is. " she is just a kid and doesn't deserve drama". Mind you I caught the bitch in my home with my husband and the most absurd thing to me was all our family pix were on wall.

Recently I was told the same phrase about our granddauter by ex and a questionable decision she made . I was right back in the moment, yet I was dwelling on past. That phrase made me something I'm not round of.
I hate I am able to "go there". Embarrassing but I was right there 2 years ago reliving his affair.

Just hurts so much still. Thanks for listening to my rant/pain.


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 618 | Registered: Jul 2012
ThrownAwayTwice
♀ Member
Member # 43226
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, May 29th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whenever he refers to our separation as a "breakup". It throws me right back to the night he texted me that he was choosing her.
I have told him this, and he has since made an effort to not refer to it as such anymore.


BW early 30's

Separated March 2014
No clue what current status is.. kind of don't care...


Posts: 59 | Registered: Apr 2014
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His use of the word "forever".

Posts: 623 | Registered: Sep 2012
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 12:27 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I didn't intend to ....."

Maybe not square one so much anymore, but insta-trigger.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2974 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Soul mate and love of my life


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1526 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
Melian40
♀ Member
Member # 41205
Default  Posted: 2:47 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When he says "I don't remember"


BW-me:40
BH-him:41
DD-age 9
Together 7 years, married 17 years
DD1:8/12/2013 -OW1-PA 1.5 months in 2009
DD2:8/17/2013 - OW2-EA Spring 2013- He tried to hit on her but she denied.

"You can't fix a broken man, but he can break you"


Posts: 208 | Registered: Nov 2013
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When he calls anyone a liar. Or a cheat. I think the one that got me the most was when he was said a work colleague lacked any integrity because he cheated at golf!! And this same guy was “telling one thing to my face and then going behind my back and doing something else.” We were changing our broadband supplier, after talking to our existing one, he came off the phone and was seething. “I don’t like being lied to!!” Really?

Another is when he is away for work and tells me he is meeting a colleague/supplier/whoever for dinner and I’m straight back to wondering just how many times he said that when he was with honeytwat.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 57 y/o Him, WS, 58 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 19 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3470 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Losconang15
♀ Member
Member # 42544
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"We are just friends" or anything along the lines of "just a friend". Makes my blood boil!


Together - 14 years
Married - 7 years
DDay- Jan 15, 2014. WH had EA/PA

Hopeful reconciliation.


Posts: 78 | Registered: Feb 2014
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When he calls anyone a liar. Or a cheat.
YUP!

"I Love you more." Nah, motherfucker, you don't. He's gotten good at not saying that anymore.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Just friends"
"We are just don't have it anymore"
"It's for the best"
"I'm in a zone"

Almost anything he says is a trigger!


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"


Posts: 2777 | Registered: Aug 2011
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"We need to have a meeting."

That's what he said when he called me the day he found out OW was pregnant. I recall everything about that very second.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2601 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"It's not like that" ws response to every one of my statements about him having an A.

"My bad" that catchy little phrase is not allowed in my house, even my kids know not to say it. Ow said it to me when I confronted her by text, then ws who never said it before, summed up he was still in contact when he said it to me in casual conversation.

""Your so insecure and jealous" said to me by ws AND ow when int suspicions were confirmed.
Man I feel the anger setting in just by typing this.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5127 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I forgot
"Its not like that and Not what you think"
"Ill never be with that girl"
All these while he threw the A in my face.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"


Posts: 2777 | Registered: Aug 2011
sudra
♀ Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Soulmate" - because they thought they were. OW2 is the only woman my husband has said that to. Including me.

"Out of my league" - he thought she was, unlike me who was common enough to actually marry him.

"Friend" - their code word for each other in their facebook posts.


Me (BW) (55), Him(SAWH) (58)
Married 22 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1492 | Registered: Nov 2010
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Im going to give it to God." - talking to OW2. Whatever.... you're on your third affair. Obviously YOU can't handle it.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.


Posts: 5241 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
craig2001
♂ Member
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just get over it
I don't remember
I don't know

Posts: 4101 | Registered: Jun 2002
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't remember (well neither do I)
It wasn't about you (well I am suffering because of it) -and-
If we D, I'll have to get a one bedroom apt and sell all my stuff (too bad, should have thought of that)


These make my blood boil!


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 1065 | Registered: Dec 2013
stunnedin12
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Are you ever going to forget?" (um, NO)

For the life of me I can't pick out the exact phrase, but wh still will occassionally try to shift the blame to me. He always uses the same words. It doesn't work so well.

I'm more a places/dates kind of person.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 476 | Registered: Jan 2013
lilacs40
♀ Member
Member # 31314
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, May 30th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last fall WH started telling DS6 to "make good choices" since he seemed to be getting in trouble at school. Funny thing is that was right about the time WH was starting his EA. Thankfully he doesn't say it anymore because if he did I think I'd punch him in the head.


I wish I could just stop I know another moment will break my heart too many tears too many time too many years I've cried over you

Posts: 321 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: IL
Imissmyhusb
♀ Member
Member # 42734
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, May 31st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

'It was just a lot of inappropriate conversation'

As if an EA is any less destructive than a PA ... And whats worse is i dont belv him abt there being no PA. So when i hear this phrase i feel like theres really a PA he is tryg to cover up


Married '03 - DD1 '01, DD2,3 '13, DD4 '14
3 kids 7y and 4y twins
me - sahm since '07, him - idk him any more
~~~~~~~~~
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.

Posts: 244 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 38
Pages: 1 · 2

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