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User Topic: Phrase that takes you back to square one?
♀ Member
Member # 43530
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, May 31st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"fine" (his non-commicatice answer for everything), "I don't know" , "I don't remember" ....And my absolute favorite, "sweet" as in cool or awesome.

AP was my friend and she used to say it all the time. When WS started using it even after she had moved away, that was one of the indicators that he had been communicating with her behind my back. WS insists he has been saying it since High School (yeah, I don't think so).

When people show you who they really are, believe them - Maya Angelou

DDay 1 - 1/13, False Recovery Discovered more + Broken NC so DDay2= 7/14

9/9/14: filed for divorce

BW: 42 (me)
WH: 40 (him)
DD-10, DS-8

Posts: 109 | Registered: May 2014
♂ Member
Member # 26750
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, May 31st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Don't forget Secretary's Day!"

Not a chance anymore.

many kids now, 1 then
DDAY: 1987

Reconciled; Sometimes still have hard days, but getting by. Still dealing with feelings I buried,but finally getting them out.

Posts: 265 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 27993
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, May 31st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, my Husband happens to be in Las Vegas, one scene of many crimes.

I just had a mini meltdown, and he just said to me, " I don't remember, but I can assure you I was working." Really?

OW flew in at 8:30 am, couldn't get into the hotel room and just hung out in the lobby with her suitcase until 5 when he was done? Ummm, I don't think so! Why can't he just own it and tell the truth?

The other thing he just said to me was... "God forgave me, move on!"

Really, just forget it? He cancelled Homecoming weekend for two children's college at the very last minute. She got the time I was begging for, in addition to a very very expensive shopping spree, first class plane ticket, a credit card and very expensive dinners out for two nights! And apparently lots of sex...which I had none.

Right... Just no trigger at all that you are in Las Vegas!

Married 32 years
OW-Mr. Ed ish! Seriously!
DDAY- 2/21/09
TT until 1/10/10
Working on R and doing well!!

Posts: 180 | Registered: Mar 2010
♀ Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, May 31st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When H describes something as "different".

He told me sex with AP wasn't worse, it wasn't better it was "different". God I hate that word.

Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 692 | Registered: Jun 2012
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, May 31st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You're the one who wanted the divorce." (Yes, Asswipe. That's exactly what I wanted. Not.)

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9014 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, May 31st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strangely enough....the word "cocktails".

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8181 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 35475
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, May 31st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Love you" without an "I" in front. He started saying it to me during his A. Shortly there after came ILYBNILWY. With the "I", i know he personally is involved in the feeling.

WS (him) 48
BS (me) 39
Together since 5/13/2005
Married 10/13/2012
No kids together. 3 total between us (17, 15, 13)
Affair started: 12/19/2011
Sobriety birthday: 1/11/2012
D-day: 2/17/2012
R-day: 3/1/2012
"The next time you think you a

Posts: 56 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Leicester, North Carolina
♀ Member
Member # 40209
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, May 31st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I can't remember"
"I'm not going to discuss that"
and ever popular "Well I'm here aren't I" that phrase just makes me all warm and fuzzy all over.

Posts: 67 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: CA
♀ Member
Member # 33202
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, June 1st (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"It is what it is."

In the early days of trauma, I found a note written by my WH to himself on a business card hidden in a glasses case at our cottage. It was about how he was ok with the AP having sex with others because he was using me as a "release". After all, "it is what it is". He had apparently written it while waiting in the car for the AP to show up for a "date" after she had accused him of stalking her. I didn't tell him I had found it, I replaced it and waited and watched for weeks for him to find it as a test. He never did so I finally showed it to him. He claimed no memory of writing it, refused to read it and threw it in the fire to burn.

His actions upon being shown the note told volumes about his refusal to deal with the reality of his choices.

I immediately trigger when I hear that phrase.

Posts: 729 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, June 1st (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

when he says I forgot. It takes me right back to the moment I heard her voice on the phone. When I asked him for history he says.I forgot everything. He can remeber his golf scores from the years 2000 but cant remember details. Right!

The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1411 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, June 1st (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't remember.

They didn't mean anything to me.

It was just a release.

I didn't love them.

I never stopped loving you.

I looked for qualities in them that you had. I was looking for you in them. (Right here the whole time, never left Asshole.)

We weren't communicating.

BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
♀ Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, June 1st (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When he says something wrong, or does something just plain stupid and his excuse is

"I wasn't thinking"

Hey jerk, you no longer have the luxury of that excuse!


"My memory is horrible these days"

Any time he refers to him and another woman as a "We" or an "Us". Even if it's just about work, or talking about someone in his past.

And then there is the "You're my everything". This one pisses me off, yet if he stops saying it I'm sure I'll be pissed too. It's never going to be the same

[This message edited by TrulySad at 3:20 PM, June 1st (Sunday)]

Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.

Posts: 481 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ Member
Member # 21896
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, June 1st (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I've gotta take time for me"

His A was "me" time - and he will still occasionally use it - in reference now as to why he's canceling on the kids.

It makes me wish my super power was punching people through the phone.

"On the other side of fear lies freedom"

Me - 36 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08

Posts: 1074 | Registered: Dec 2008
♂ Member
Member # 35989
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, June 1st (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Words used when I was clearly concerned about their relationship

"Relax" -- said slowly / drawn out.
"We're just friends"

She never says relax or chill anymore, but even thinking about her saying them messes with me.

I typo therefore I edit.

Posts: 198 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, June 1st (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One word "whatever".

That pisses me off to no end.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7814 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, June 1st (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"She doesn't take 'no' for an answer."

BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014


Posts: 2333 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
♀ Member
Member # 38653
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, June 1st (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Adding to RightTrack's suggestion of "forever"' I'm adding "always". He used to sign his letters to her "love forever and always". Besides the terribly bad grammar, I can't think of another word, other than "infinity" that might take its place...

Course, after she dumped him, he told her he would find "another resort to take a vacation".... So I'm left with the word "holiday", and wondering when the next resort will rear her ugly head.

Me (BS) 42 Him (FWS) 43
AP#2 (LTA EA/PA) DD #1 16 Feb 2013
AP#1 (LTA EA with my BF) DD #2 16 Nov 2013
Married 11 years, T 19 years

Posts: 249 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ Member
Member # 36763
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, June 1st (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The word "pussy" because she called him a pussy and he said it was something about the way she said it to him that made him want her bad.

The video game "Mario Kart", which is when she would call him a pussy, as he would leave to go home to me his wife, she wanted him to stay with her longer, some friend she was!

The phrase "piss off", she used to say it a lot in a englishy way and he started saying it.

Nebraska, because she is from there. I will never be able to be friends with anyone from there ever.

Oh man!

me WW/BW-31
him BH/WH- 31

2002/3 (him) EA

PA(me)-Nov 2007

Tog. 14 yrs, Marr. 13 and counting!


Posts: 146 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 38
Pages: 1 · 2

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