Ditch the self pity. It will keep you where you are until you do.
This is the realization that I finally had. Self-pity has hurt me personally and professionally for decades. It's one of the excuses I used for the A. Self-pity and blame-shifting go hand-in-hand. When I take responsibility for my own happiness to make myself and my life better, then I will be on the road to fixing me. That's not a license for hedonism--it's saying that I can't make someone else responsible for how I feel, nor should I wait around for someone to fix things for poor me. If I don't like what's going on in my life, it's up to me to do something constructive and healthy to fix it.
If I don't like what's going on in my life, it's up to me to do something constructive and healthy to fix it.
I used to think *not having feelings* made me invincible. Now I realize, taking responsibility for one's feelings is the true superpower.
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
"What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, what if you fly?
[This message edited by Unagie at 5:28 PM, May 30th (Friday)]
No longer together
Do not let others be your reference for who you see in the mirror.
Stop allowing people to hurt you, because you don't love you enough to walk away.
Now I realize, taking responsibility for one's feelings is the true superpower.
And SO much harder
But not really, I'd much rather experience my feelings than stuff them down and ignore them. Pretend I'm all tough, that nothing bothers me, when I'm a really sensitive person.
Good to see you "got" it with the self pity.
It's a brute.
I'm so thankful I have the awareness of how crappy it makes me feel.
On the rare occasion it starts creeping up on me I can deal with it promptly before I get wrapped up in it, and look at how I'm really feeling.
ETA: I love self pity threads, it's one of my defects that I've worked really hard on leaving behind.
[This message edited by SurprisinglyOkay at 7:28 PM, May 30th (Friday)]
"Your secrets keep you sick"
Working on it.
* I am a RS (Recovering Scumbag)
* Do as I say, NOT as I did. :-(
* I acknowledge the grace I have received. I know do not deserve it.
I think being angry and disgusted at yourself is probably more about dealing with disappointment with yourself, the choices you've made, and the outcomes of those choices. You'll be able to deal with that anger and disgust better once you get to the root of the question why you made the choice to have an A in the first place. And once you get to the root of "why," you can develop a action plan to fix things so you don't make those choices again, or other similarly self-destructive choices.
Thanks for your response, that makes sense. I am disgusted and disappointed at myself. I do not have self pity because I do not blame anyone but me. I know why I did what I did, but it doesn't make me less angry and disgusted.