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Newest Member: 4hazel (45322)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Harmless date?
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shelly from some of your other posts you appear to get this reaction in real life from other people such as your colleagues too, have you brought this up with your IC?

Well the one situation where that one coworker was rude to me seemed to come out of nowhere. I think it came from me being very thorough with my work so if I have a problem or need something to be fixed, then I go to the source and I work with them to fix it! I was working with her on some adjustments I needed for a bank rec and she has only been here about 6 months or so.....so I just explained what I needed done to fix it but I had to go back a few times because she had questions as well and then she snapped on me in front of another coworker. She said I was bothering her too much and I apologized and told her that our boss had asked me to go back and ask her these questions and I was sorry I bothered her and she said, "But, you just keep doing it huh!"

It was uncalled for....but I let it go. I didn't see a point in fighting with her or being a tattle tail and getting her in trouble. I wrote it off as her being new and everything being overwhelming and complicated. I remember feeling that way too when I started so I was empathizing with her frustration. Maybe she was having a bad day? I don't know. It happens to all of us. But, my other coworkers heard it and came to my defense. Four of them. I was floored by the support....and very humbled as well.

I usually don't get such an adverse reaction by people in real life. I'm a very good people person normally and tend to make friends with strangers! I can talk to literally anyone without a flinch.... but I'm not good at defending myself.

My IC says that I'm wayyy too hard on myself and I have a high guilt complex. It doesn't take much to make me feel bad about myself or for me to feel bad about any decisions I make that aren't perfect. I am my worst critic and toughest competitor. She said that I need to not feel so bad about things. When I told her about that date.....I fully expected her to scold me like a child....but she was surprised I expected that....and had the opposite reaction. I think I'm very emotionally gun shy after the A...the divorce...Piper's father poofing out of her life....and just in general. I've always been emotional.....my whole life... but now I'm just more hyper aware of my sensitivity as I wasn't emotionally mature enough in the past to recognize it.

Gosh....I address EVERYTHING with my IC. I can't believe I started seeing her when I was just a few months pregnant and now my daughter is almost 2. She is practically family!

Thank you Innerlight....I appreciate your kind words.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:03 AM, June 5th (Thursday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Schadenfreude
♂ Member
Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a guy, a rare thing for a responder to this posting. You did nothing wrong. Who knew whether there would be someone more interesting at this party. It's not like you were invited to a dog fight. The event itself seemed like it could be interesting a la Great Gatsby or something.

Who knew that it would turn out to be one of those infamous bad dates you laugh about later on? We've all been on them.

Who cares if he was a creep? You weren't.

Nothing obligates a second go round with him, so what did you lose? Except maybe missing an American Idol episode or similar.

Except you screwed up one detail.....my Maserati does 185....I lost my license and now I don't drive. Joe Walsh.


Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Except you screwed up one detail.....my Maserati does 185....I lost my license and now I don't drive. Joe Walsh.

Thank you Schadenfreude! Its funny how people said I mentioned the car a lot....and now that I look back, I did come across wrong. My friends husband was the one "selling" that detail to me...and he probably brought it up 10 times when he was trying to convince me to go. I should have told him that he could borrow one of my dresses and take a ride with the guy!

Cars don't really do it for me. I don't really care much about that......Now I AM a little sensitive to a guy that can't keep a car! Funny story.... my 1st boyfriend was a mechanic but I ultimately broke up with him because he would steal from me and pawn my things....and I caught him one last time and ended things. He begged and begged for a 2nd chance....and me being young and dumb (20) I agreed to let him come pick me up for lunch at work. My conditions were that he had to "Keep a job and keep a car" for me to even consider working on things (and obviously stop stealing from me you stupid piece of crap!!! But.....I digress)... The reason for this condition was that in the 2 and a half years we dated.....he had at least 10+ different jobs and probably over 20+ different cars....he had a different car it seemed almost every month....he would go from wanting something "Nicer used with a payment" to "a piece of paid off shit."

Well, he showed up at my job to pick me up WHILE TEST DRIVING A NEW USED CAR!!!!!!!!! OMG....I should have said...."OH hell no!!" and ran back inside my job....but I got in the car and we started heading to somewhere to eat.... and about a mile from my job....at a stoplight....the car died. YEP....it died!!!!!! I was sooooooo mad!!!!! He had to push it into a parking lot! Now....I rarely get so mad that I'm screaming and cussing.....but I did that day! I screamed and cussed him out and stomped off back towards my job. Good walk too. Dummy followed me.... as I'm screaming "Get the EFF away from me!!! Leave me alone! Stop following me!" He followed me all the way there and I told him I was driving him back to his piece of crap and that was it....don't call me, don't email me, don't smoke signal me.....I'm DONE!!! done done done! He had the nerve to try to walk off saying "I don't have to put up with this!" And, I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Getting in the Effing car....right Effing NOW!!!!!!!" He tucked his tail.....walked back....and got in the car....and I took him back to his junk pile. That was how that ended!

I hadn't gotten that mad again until after D day.... so....9 years later? It takes A LOT to make me that angry! Even Piper's father never got me to that point.....he pushed me....but never to the breaking point. I think he lucked out...

Maybe that older guy was right.......but he will have to put this redhead in the bitch category...cause after 2 years and going "riding on the bus" I know damn well I'm not a whore!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:34 AM, June 5th (Thursday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Topic Posts: 103
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6

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