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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Harmless date?
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay....so I went on the date....it was "fairly" innocent. He was on his best behavior (I guess as far as that can be). He didn't try to touch me or kiss me or anything like that.... ICK....

His car was nice.....he tried to get me to drive it but that terrified me.... a $220,000 car?? Um....no thanks. I had had a few beers AND even though that may be the coolest DUI story ever....no thanks! (that was sarcasm in case you didn't catch it!) Plus...wrecking a car like that or even breathing on it wrong scares the crap out of me!!!

So.... this is how it went. He picked me up...gave me the up and down eye look (double ick....but I let it go) He didn't open my door for me....strike one (I know.....I'm old fashioned and if you are going to brag about your expensive ass car.....be a gentleman and open the damn door.... (small pet peeve)

We go to the "Penguin Club" and he talks all the way there about how I'm gonna be the most good looking woman there and how he ALWAYS has the most good looking woman and they are all just jealous of him..... great. So....we go inside and I find out the "Penguin Club" is basically a place that was founded by 60 old guys and its a place they can go to party, drink, and play in the pool. I was "LITERALLY" the youngest person there......I didn't even have to guess.....I could just look around at the retirement community flashback and tell... I turn 35 in July.

So.....the next fun part is I find out we are 2 hours late for dinner and most of the food has been put away. There is a little cheese left... some chicken wings...and some leftover shrimp. I made a small plate and he apologized for getting dinner wrong about a hundred times saying he would make it up to me (later offering to take me to IHOP.....no thanks) and so forth. I told him it was fine, its easy to make that mistake blah blah blah.

The PRO....the ONLY PRO...was that his friends were hilarious.....although all about 20 to 30 years older than me....when we sat at the bar and they told me stories.....I was in stitches laughing most of the night. I enjoyed the attention and the conversation. But, I did NOT enjoy the reactions I got from most everyone else. The looks I got as well as the whispering was blatantly obvious. I guess I should have expected that. We passed one table of younger people.....and I say younger as in, younger than the members but older than me (this was the 75th anniversary of the club) and I heard the word "Mazzarti" get brought up....and since he is the only one there that drives one.....I knew they were probably discussing why *I* was there with him...... Oh yay.....I've been officially profiled as the younger girl gold digger type....

So.... a few other pet peeves...he talked about his money all night long....how he bought his ex girlfriend a BMW and just let her keep it....(although he keeps the title......and will never give it to her.... control issues?). He has family in Germany and took his daughter there and got a rental sports car and drove on the autobon to France to go to Paris....said he was going to take me to Italy since its on my bucket list. He said I shouldn't have a bucket list at my age. I said ..."Hey...I'm a runner....I could get hit by a bus tomorrow....you never know!" LOL Never too early for a bucket list IMHO... He basically talked about how rich he was most of the night but at the end of the night whined about how most women only date him for his money.....GEE...I wonder why??

He said "I don't date fat chicks" which I found offensive...being a former big girl myself (I was 240lbs and a size 22 at 17 years old and made sure to tell him about that......cause he is an overweight guy himself. He also won't date women his own age. I HATE hypocritical men who won't date women their age OR won't date overweight women however they don't workout or take care of themselves and expect fit women to want to date them???? Um....No. I take care of myself and want to find someone who tries to do the same. They don't have to be perfect or have abs you can see or anything like that....(I don't!!!) But, try.

He talked about my legs.....said he was picturing me in spandex running down the street and made some sort of icky moaning sound and said he will have to come to my neighborhood sometime to see that.....

BUT...he never tried anything...even said he knew at the end of the night it was a "pity date" and I was talked into it...which I denied...but that was probably somewhat true. He said he could at least be my friend.....and I was okay with that...(sort of.....okay...not really ) Maybe with LOTS of friends with me!

All in all....it was okay...but I went back to my friends house and stayed the night there.....starving to death... but I guess that was my fault for not taking him up on his IHOP offer???

I think the worst part was one of his friends whispered to him from across the bar right in front of me.....and just told me...."Its a secret..." and then when we were leaving he gave me a MINT.... "Want a mint?" ...Sure..... and all I kept thinking was......"Try it...and I am bolting from the car.....moving or not...."

I knew it would probably go about that way....but I did kinda expect at least dinner.... oh well....at least his friends were fun!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry it wasn't all that great, but glad it wasn't a total disaster. I think I would enjoy riding in a $220,000 car. Not too many get to do that. (My son does all the time, though, he works as a car detailer at an exclusive car wash! Bentleys, Maseratis, Ferraris, Rolls, he has driven them all.)

Yeah, I would be peeved I didn't get a dinner out of it at least. Kudos for being brave enough to go on an adventure.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 9:11 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9793 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't get a dinner out of it

Sounds like a trip down Low-Rent Hugh Hefner Boulevard. I-Hop? Really?? He sounds creepy and I hope he doesn't end up stalking you...

[This message edited by FaithFool at 9:16 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17488 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It just re-confirmed what I already knew about myself. Although I DO want a guy who is stable and has his shit together....I don't CARE about material things and a guy being rich or a doctor or whatever! I'm not a gold digger. I care about connection and the total package and I want to have chemistry with someone I ultimately end up with and I want someone closer to my age (hell...even 10 years older is okay with me if he is a good fit for me)...but someone that would be a good father figure for my daughter.....and I just know that I won't settle. Even if he offers me the moon........and I'm pretty sure he could afford it!!!

Sounds like a trip down Low-Rent Hugh Hefner Boulevard. I-Hop? Really?? He sounds creepy and I hope he doesn't end up stalking you

He was sorta creepy....and he leaned close to me a few times and I felt my personal space being violated..... and backed up. Very frustrating. I don't think he will bother me...

And, this whole thing was actually HIS DAUGHTER'S idea!!!! She encouraged it because she knows I'm a good person and he only dates gold digging bitches apparently.... but she and I have talked since the date and she seems accepting that I'm not interested and isn't offended by that (not that I care either way....she's not that close to me...) I could tell my best friend knew it wasn't going to be that great by the expression on her face when I got to her house before the date. I think her husband (who is more the friend of the daughter and her husband)pushed this whole thing more than my best friend did. Her face screamed "I would not want to do this...." and I must admit....I got cold feet before the date....but it was a little late and rude to cancel at that point....so I sucked it up.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 9:55 AM, June 2nd (Monday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was he wearing gold medallions on his hairy chest?


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17488 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was he wearing gold medallions on his hairy chest?

That might have had me turning around and going back inside my friends house and locking the door....

OH... and I wanted to apologize for not posting to you guys sooner than now. It was a crazy weekend. After my post....I went to the gym and ran 6 miles on the treadmill and then went home and another friend came over and helped me get ready for the date....I had to be at my besties house early to set up my daughters pack and play for bedtime and get the carseat out as they were taking her to dinner with their kids....and I ended up staying the night at my bestie's house.... then I got home late morning....tired because I couldn't sleep. I had a 2 year old's birthday party at 2:30 with Piper and then had a ton of cleaning to do when I got home. cleaned both the bathrooms, kitchen, trash, did some laundry, made dinner, got Piper bathed and put to bed....and by the time I got ready for today I was pooped and went to bed early! It was a busy weekend for sure!!!!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well you certainly got an interesting story out of it.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3991 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well you certainly got an interesting story out of it.

Very true..... I could write a book on animated dates that I've had in the past..... and keep people page-turning!

He had a few backhanded comments too.....one was to his friends, "I thought I would start with a redhead.....the meanest kind and work my way down this time..." And, when I was about to get out of his car he mentioned that "I was beautiful, especially for a redhead because MOST redheads are built like little boys and are either bitches or whores" That was nice.

I asked him if he had ever dated a redhead before and he said no. So, I said, "Then how would you know that?"

UGH. NEXT.


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was beautiful, especially for a redhead because MOST redheads are built like little boys and are either bitches or whores
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
Whoa
Really?

What a tool


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3991 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
worried_lady
♀ Member
Member # 27605
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just shows sometimes it is better to keep dreaming about that fancy car than actually ride in one.

The cost of the evening was way too high for just a ride.


Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly.

Posts: 463 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Texas
miadianna
♀ Member
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shelly, I'm not sure why you would even give a man you knew you were not interested in one second of your precious time? I just don't understand this. Not even for an animated story, I would rather write my own.

The whole thing sounds ego driven and all about validation.


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7482 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
formerlyteflon
♀ Member
Member # 16725
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew they were probably discussing why *I* was there with him...... Oh yay.....I've been officially profiled as the younger girl gold digger type....

That's charitable. I would have assumed prostitute.


“There is a limit to the amount of misery and disarray you will put up with, for love, just as there is a limit to the amount of mess you can stand around a house. You can’t know the limit beforehand, but you will know when you’ve reached it."

Posts: 930 | Registered: Oct 2007
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The cost of the evening was way too high for just a ride.

yes. I'm literally smh.

He didn't try to touch me or kiss me or anything like that

Let's try not to set the bar on the floor. He insulted you to your face and made disgusting sexual innuendos.

The whole description of this thing is bizarre. You basically let a girl you barely know loan you out to her dad for his sake and the whole transaction was brokered by your "bestie" even though she supposedly didn't like it. Ok.

For some reason the whole date revolves around a brand of car, I have no idea why. You continually say you don't care about material stuff. Fine, great. Why bring it up then? Why not just say you have a last minute date with a guy you met once who is older? Why do you need to confirm things... about yourself, to yourself, that you already know? You just went through a lot of hassle for that. And that confuses me because that seems to be your only take-away for the evening.

I'm not trying to be rude but would you have accepted a last minute date with an old, unattractive, overweight man you don't know to go to a Chili's? If he came to pick you up in his Corolla?

Just to be clear, I have been places with men I couldn't have afforded to go alone. A frakton. But these were guys I liked, sometimes loved, and I had a ball. So I have no problem accepting anything expensive or whatever. I'm not going to be treated as "less than" by a man who has more money than me.

From the get go I found it to be a waving red flag that he wanted to display his wealth to you and display you to his friends, rather than just get your phone number and call you, talk, and go from there. The same way any other guy would do.

You seem to accept really shoddy treatment and be kinda flip about it. Just from the numerous of his remarks that you typed even in your first post ... about fat chicks, him buying his exgf a car... and you didn't even get a real dinner on this "date" yet your post is peppered with funny emoji's. Is it funny?



Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have assumed prostitute.
Uncalled for.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9793 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
absolut
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew they were probably discussing why *I* was there with him...... Oh yay.....I've been officially profiled as the younger girl gold digger type....

That's charitable. I would have assumed prostitute.

Yeah there is always that assumption when you see a whopping age difference and looks difference and income difference....but her friends basically pimped her out so some old dude could have a pretty date.

They told her it was going to be some glamorous event, and then she got to be whispered about, insulted, and there wasn't even dinner.

He got to be seen with this much younger fit and attractive girl, and the date cost him not one penny.


Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
Charity411
♀ Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know.....I don't know why you keep referring to this as a date. You made it clear from your very first post you found this person to be very unattractive, even saying time had been cruel to him. So one can only fathom that you wanted to go to a "big time Penguin Club,....in a mazzarati, and be treated to a night of supposedly innocent dinner, drinks, dancing and shmoozing".

Dates are more like "You're kinda cute and I'd like to get to know you better. Wanna meet for coffee so I can figure out whether or not you're an axe murder or not before we take this further?"

If Donald Trump offered to pick me up in a helicopter on my front lawn and whisk me to Paris for dinner, drinks, dancing and whatever I'd answer with a resounding: NO. I'M NOT FOR SALE. Because I find him to be a hideous person on many levels and to say yes would mean I was willing to forego my standards for the right price or the right mode of transportation.

I wouldn't go anyway and then continue to disparage him on line for being exactly what you knew he was and doing exactly what you expected him to do. Or you wouldn't have prefaced everything with "supposedly". And I don't know why you can even remotely be surprised by the whispers and winks and nods. How did you really expect his old friends to view your "supposed" date.


Posts: 384 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
million pieces
♀ Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You seem to accept really shoddy treatment and be kinda flip about it.

This is what hit me also. I would have been calling for a friend or a cab after his first sexual comment.


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 11
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1264 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They told her it was going to be some glamorous event, and then she got to be whispered about, insulted, and there wasn't even dinner.

Basically THIS ^^^

I was told this "Penguin Club" was having a fancy event and he just wanted a date to take along. They thought it would be nice for me to get out of the house and be treated nice for an evening by a "nice" guy. I wouldn't normally have gone for this type of situation and don't know why I did this time. I don't know. Lesson learned. I definitely didn't dress like a prostitute but I guess people have their right to their opinions. I won't be going out with him again or anyone else that I don't know. I've never had luck with blind date type situations in the past. I should have known better.

I guess deep down I'm not really all that surprised and feel pretty stupid. I should have followed my gut like I did the 1st time they told me he was interested back in December and told them no. I guess I learned a valuable lesson the hard way.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 2:58 PM, June 2nd (Monday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She11y, you did nothing wrong. You went out on a date. Basically, a blind date. Many have done that.

It was a crappy date, but not because of anything you did. He was a tool. But, he could have been a really nice guy, too. You don't know that until you go out and spend some time with someone. Many of you have gone out on dates with someone you thought was nice, only to find out he (or she) is a real DB.

Please lighten up on She11y. She didn't do anything for you all to be so tough on her. She hadn't been out on a date since August. Sometimes a girl just needs a night out.

(((She11y)))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9793 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
worried_lady
♀ Member
Member # 27605
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So wait....you knew in December that he was interested in you and you still went. You were treated exactly the way that would have been expected by the way you acted by going. Everything has a price No one sent mixed signals on the date except you.

My dignity is worth much more than a fancy evening.

[This message edited by worried_lady at 3:12 PM, June 2nd (Monday)]


Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly.

Posts: 463 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Texas
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