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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: how do i explain this to BH? BS welcome
♀ Member
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H has realized what he felt wasn't love. I'm happy that he sees this. It does make me feel better about now. Unfortunately it doesn't help me understand that when he thought he was in love with her why he stayed with me. It's pain, plain and simple. Something that I will have to heal from. I was never in that position so I can't ever understand how you could think you love someone but not want to be with them all the time for real, not in secret.

As long as he knows you know it wasn't real love, I don't think you need to go into it much more than that but follow his lead. Make sure if you are talking about feelings you had then, what you think about them now.

As a lot of people have said, show him your love for him. Share with him when you're feeling loving toward him. How it makes you feel when he comes through the door after not seeing him all day. If you know his love language, learn to speak it fluently.

I've followed your journey and you have come a long way. Keep it up!

[This message edited by AML04 at 8:57 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]

Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 875 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
♂ New Member
Member # 42412
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I told my AP that she was the “love of my life” and my “soul mate” and I will regret those words until I die. I was caught up in the fucking and infatuation and my own self-centeredness and would say whatever it took to keep up the high of the affair. I never stopped to think what I was doing to my life, my wife’s life and the rest of my family and friends. I said whatever I thought was the right thing to say to keep it rolling. I lied to my wife about the details of the affair once it came to light and I’ve since told her (and myself) that I lied to the OW with my words about love. And while that is true it does little to ease her pain and feelings of worthlessness to realize the words that came out of my mouth.

Me: WH 55
Her: BS 55
Married: 30+ years

Posts: 24 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 22
Pages: 1 · 2

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