My H has realized what he felt wasn't love. I'm happy that he sees this. It does make me feel better about now. Unfortunately it doesn't help me understand that when he thought he was in love with her why he stayed with me. It's pain, plain and simple. Something that I will have to heal from. I was never in that position so I can't ever understand how you could think you love someone but not want to be with them all the time for real, not in secret.
As long as he knows you know it wasn't real love, I don't think you need to go into it much more than that but follow his lead. Make sure if you are talking about feelings you had then, what you think about them now.
As a lot of people have said, show him your love for him. Share with him when you're feeling loving toward him. How it makes you feel when he comes through the door after not seeing him all day. If you know his love language, learn to speak it fluently.
I've followed your journey and you have come a long way. Keep it up!