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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Examples of ways to deal with shared expenses
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do folks manage the joint expenses after D? I am sure there are different ways to do there an app for that?

I am talking about things like kids clothing, or kids' copays, etc. How do you keep track of who pays what and then pay/reimburse as appropriate?

Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 724 | Registered: Aug 2013
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For clothes XW and I individually buy the kids clothes and we shop at different stores so I can figure out what is mine and hers.

Medical costs and activity costs we split and we do a monthly roll up. She and I will often alternate them so that end of the month roll ups amounts tend to be small.


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 52599 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PMing you since they don't like us posting links to other sites.

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep an excel spreadsheet that indicates the expense, the amount, the reimbursement due and the date I sent the receipt to the ex.


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29662 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
♀ Member
Member # 43092
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, June 2nd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I assumed CS payments were meant to cover the basic/daily needs (clothing, shoes etc.).

All other expenses (daycare, school trips, sports etc.) will be split 50/50. For daycare, we will each write a cheque to the daycare directly for half the amount.

All other expenses, I will ask him for his portion up front, before I pay for whatever it is.

We both have benefits plans and we live in Canada so we have free healthcare, so everything medical related is pretty-much covered.

BS (me): 32
WH: 33
Married: Feb 3, 2007
Discovery: Mar 26, 2014
Child 1: May 27, 2009
Child 2: May 23, 2012

Posts: 71 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: canada
♀ Member
Member # 35325
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is a site called Our Family wizard. You can put expenses in there and the parenting schedule. You can send messages in there. You can have it sent to your attorney. it is all admissible in court.
I use this. It doesn't make your ex act like a civil human being. But it's a good place to keep track of everything.

Dday- March 1, 2012
M 17 years
EA? 4 years
2 boys ages 10 and 12
Divorced- 12/17/2012

Posts: 117 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Illinois
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our Family Wizard has an annual subscription fee. is free.

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 3:27 AM, June 11th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please make sure you specifically include what items will be split 50/50 in your D.

I did not, and XWH pays child support and that's it.

I paid marching band fees (495 per child), instrument lessons, prom tux rental, dinner, corsage, etc, and School yearbooks (65 and 40) last month.

I am VERY fortunate that XWH bought son an older truck and I insisted UP FRONT that XWH pay all gas, insurance, repairs, etc to vehicle as son's main job right now is SCHOOL.

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2210 | Registered: Jan 2012
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:56 AM, June 11th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had estimated expenses rolled into CS. As I pay a rather large CS payment my XWW does not nickel and dime me when it comes to other costs. On the same hand I spend a good amount on my son for things that should be included in the CS payments i.e. clothes, sneakers etc. I also provide pocket money for him each time he visits, which right now is every other weekend. I also personally covered his private school tuition for the last 10 years Pre K through 8th grade. He graduates this Friday and will attend public HS in the town his mother and her fiancé will be moving to after the event. As I'm now retired and living on limited income I expect for him to be dropped off at my door, bags in hand when the CS runs out when he turns 18. I purchased an annuity to cover his CS when I retired 3 years ago. But that's expires after HS. Will see what happens then I guess, but as I said I expect him to be left with me when the money stops.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5729 | Registered: Nov 2007
♀ Member
Member # 28851
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, June 11th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with homewrecked2011 that you need to be as explicit as possible in the decree as to what will be shared, and those terms. Be aware that many parents use the loophole "mutually agreed" to avoid paying (ie mutually agreed upon sports' fees will be split, so the parent that does not want to pay just refuses). I have several girlfriends who have exes that do this.

I do not have that language in my decree and only receive child support and 1/2 medical expenses. Therefore, I pay 100% of my 3 kids' private school tuition, all activities, school fees, school supplies, summer camps, etc, etc. Everything.

I am a teacher. Ex is a corporate executive at a very large national retail chain.

So ... get as much as you can very specifically worded in your decree.

Me: 40 and fabulous!
3 children ages 10, 12 and 14
Ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Divorced: 12/10/10
Re-married a wonderful man.

Posts: 329 | Registered: Jun 2010
Topic Posts: 10

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