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User Topic: New and lost.... (some bad language, sorry)
wearyandworn
♀ New Member
Member # 43593
Default  Posted: 12:03 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello. I am not sure where to start. I have been lurking and reading for a few days now.

Our story is messy. Most of them are, I guess, aren't they?

Anyway, I am at a standstill and I don't know what I should be doing, or saying, or feeling or anything. I am a 37yr old female, and I cheated on my husband. I never thought of it at the time as an emotional affair, but looking now with clarity, it was an EA for about 3 months. It was physical for about 3 weeks.

Part of me wants to tell my story, but then part of me hears my husband telling me to quit justifying it and to quit making excuses. SO I am trying hard to figure out how to tell the story and say what I was thinking and feeling without it sounding like I am justifying it, so I mostly just stay quiet. I can talk about it in counseling but that's all.

We are 6 months out from D-Day. It's been a very rough road. Every day or two I am told I am a worthless whore, only good for a cheap f*&k. I try to speak to him and he says stuff like "what, i can't hear your lying whore self over the c&*k stuck in your mouth" He says he is only here for the children. He says he hates me. This isn't fair. He calls me "Mrs So and So" all the time. He says that because I had the affair I have proven that I am in love with the other man and will always be in love with him and have proven that I have never loved my husband. Every other day he begs me for divorce papers so I can stop torturing him. I have had his spit bottle from his chew dumped over my head, and his bottle with water and cigarette ashes thrown in my face. I have had my face spit in more times than I can count.

I understand he is absolutely devastated. I get that. But am I wrong to ask him to at least stop calling me a worthless whore? Or do I really still deserve to hear that? Do I deserve to have my face spit in still?

When do I stop begging him to stay and just move out? If I get divorce papers, then I prove I don't love him. If I don't get the papers then I prove I don't love him or respect him because I am not doing what he told me to do. We fight this battle constantly. Some days I resist the papers, others I get them. Just trying to do the right thing to prove to him I want him happy.

I am truly trying to make this all right. I just don't know what to do anymore. I KNOW what I did was wrong. I know that. But I can't take being called the things I am called forever. The things he says and does I had to stop telling my counselor because she warned me it was borderline her having to report as abuse.

I have tried to explain I was being a selfish brat. That it had nothing to do with loving the OM more. At that point in time, as low as I was at, it was all about me feeling better about myself. Me feeling loved. I don't know how to get him to understand it wasn't about love or lack thereof. It was stupid disgusting selfishness...

Ugh. I am so sorry. I know I am all over the place. I have so much pent up because I can't even talk to my counselor any more with truth, only with the prettied up version of life around here....

When do I just say enough. I ruined you. I love you but you want out so go. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me. And I also feel that even though I have done what I have done, I deserve at least a tiny smidgen of respect....my children see this. My children hear this. They are 8,7 & 2. I have ruined my marriage, have destroyed my husband and am now destroying my children. HOW do I make it better???


Posts: 2 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
RegretfulHusband
♂ Member
Member # 41873
Default  Posted: 12:13 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi weary,

Welcome to e best club you never wanted to join.

You are not a worthless whore, but you did make a worthless, selfish, life altering choice. You need to understand that your H seems to have skipped the immediate grief phase and gone right to anger, which, o be honest, is understandable. He will be very angry and very hurt for some time.

Most importantly IMO, NO he does NOT have the right in any way to physically abuse you. That crosses a line no matter what anyone has done. That needs to stop or you need to leave. If he can't control his anger, you need to consider your kids health as well - and speaking of, do they know about this? How has your H been with them since?

Regarding divorce, there are others on here MUCH wiser than I that will log on and give you their thoughts, but I wanted you to know you've been heard.

This is a great place for support, and people here will try to help you, but be prepared for a long road, lots of bumps along the way, and hard hitting 2x4s from people when needed.

I think all will agree though, the spitting, dumping things on you, etc., needs to stop, and if it can't, it might be better off to go.

Are you or your H in IC or MC at all? How was he before all this happened, with you and the kids?


Me: FWH, 34
Her: BS, 33
Married: 6 years
Together: 10+ years
Kids: 2 Boys under 5

DDay1: 7+ years ago
DDay2: 1.5 years ago

"The truth shall set you free, but first it will make you miserable."


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: United States
RomanticInnocenc
♀ Member
Member # 43041
Default  Posted: 12:16 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No stop sign so...

I just wanted to ask if he was like this before the affair? What type of husband was he etc. Not to justify your affair but to get a sense of whether this behaviour is in character or not.


Me: BS 31
WH: 29 (theseseatsRtaken)
DS: getting close to 1
Together 10 years, married 2.
DD1: 8th of Jan 2014
DD2: 10th of Jan 2014
NC: 8th of Jan
In hopeful R!

Posts: 320 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:22 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As a BW it is a bit hard for me to respond since I don't know what a BH feels....but your BH's response seems a bit *harsh* and abusive. If you have been dealing with the type of language that you described for the past 6 months, I would think that you need to consider that your A was a deal-breaker for your BH and think about filing for D. I have seen where BH's will occasionally 'lose their shit' and make those types of statements to their WW's, but I have never seen one who is doing it on a 3x/wk basis for a 6 month period of time.

Calling you a whore and dismissing your voice by telling you that he can't *hear* your because of the c&*k stuck in your mouth on a regular basis for 6 months is awful behavior on his part.

If he wants to reconcile with you, then he needs to knock that shit off. If he doesn't, then he needs to file for divorce.

And please...for the love of all that is holy....protect/shield your kids from this. If your BH can't stop calling you a whore when they are in earshot, then you need to be proactive in limiting your contact with him.....whether that *proves* you love him or not, be damned.

If I get divorce papers, then I prove I don't love him. If I don't get the papers then I prove I don't love him or respect him because I am not doing what he told me to do.

^^^All of this says.....fill out the papers for divorce.

Your BH has put you in a no win situation and his behavior is harming your children so you need to look out for them first and foremost.

[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 12:24 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8073 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
FinallyHappy
♀ Member
Member # 308
Default  Posted: 4:38 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd file for divorce.

How are the finances?

Either he's being a bitch because he earns all the money, or he's being a bitch because you do.

Go ahead and tell your story.


"Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none."

~Ben~

Posts: 7338 | Registered: Jul 2002 | From: WI
JaneDeaux
♀ Member
Member # 42630
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing you've done warrants the physical abuse or emotional abuse. You're still a good person who made bad choices. Protect yourself and your children and then figure out which way to go.


We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. Kenji Miyazawa

Posts: 60 | Registered: Mar 2014
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are six months out and he is still acting this way? I could forgive the language in the immediacy of D-Day, because people go into shock and sometimes say horrendous things. But at this point, he should have had some time to calm down and start dealing with his anger in a more constructive way.

As far as him dumping his nasty chew on you or spitting at you, that is abusive even during D-day. You do not have to tolerate that. I am also wondering if he was always verbally abusive towards you? It is hard for me to believe all this bad behavior started because of D-day.

I am a BS, but I would never behave that way towards my WS. Maybe some abusive language during D-Day, but not after I had calmed down. The continuation of him abusing you and using the affair as an excuse worries me.

If he is just there for the kids, then he has some messed up ideas. Being there for the kids does not mean abusing your partner because that scares the kids and shows them that is the type of behavior that is allowed in a relationship. I really think at this point, a separation would be better for both parties. What he is doing to you is damaging to the children.

Also, are you getting counseling? Okay, I just saw that you are in counseling and your counselor has warned that she is going to have to report abuse if you continue to tell her about his abusive behavior. If you are afraid to tell her what is going on, she is not going to be able to help you. And your counselor recognizes this as abusive. Call a women's shelter. Talk with them. You don't have to leave, you can just talk to them a bit and get their perspective.

[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 5:46 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15288 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Scubadoo
♀ Member
Member # 43079
Default  Posted: 5:48 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BS here.
I certainly can not condone or accept what you did, but you don't deserve to be treated like that either. I am also six months out from dday, so I know somewhat emotionally where your BH could be at, although everyone truly goes through things in their own way. Do I get angry at my WH, you better believe it, have I ever touched him regarding it NO. Do I fantasize about nipping his twig and berries off, oh yes, and sending them to the OW. Do we have any conversations or disagreements about this in front of our children, NEVER!!! This is not their issue, this is a very adult issue. You must at all costs protect your children from his abuse on you, and yes this is abuse. He should never humiliate you in front of your children, what is that teaching them. Is that the type of behavior you want them to have when they grow up and have a relationship of their own. You are their teacher in how to treat one another. If you cannot respect each other in front of them, and cannot remove yourselves to a private area to discuss such topics, then you need to leave.


BS (me) 42
WS (him) 48
OW (downgrade) 48
Married 11 yrs
DS 9
DD 8
D-day 10/27/13
8mth

Posts: 105 | Registered: Apr 2014
standinghere
♂ Member
Member # 34689
Default  Posted: 6:15 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His behavior is abuse, don't tolerate it, nothing you did justifies it any more than anything he did justifies your behavior.

You cannot make this all right, you can only work on yourself and take care of your kids. It sounds like he doesn't want to hear any explanation nor is he psychologically able to understand it yet.

It really sounds like you both need to separate at least temporarily just to allow some cooling off to occur.


BH - Me - Late 30's (now late 40's)
WW - Her - Late 30's (now late 40's)
4 Children
Her - Love of my life...still is.
Reconciled - Partly...she can't get over it.
Her - Thunderstruck by what she did.

Posts: 1012 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: USA
steadychevy
♂ Member
Member # 42608
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am a BH. I am 9 months from DDay. I have called my WW a whore on more than a few occassions. I recently said she was a waste of oxygen. I have regretted those comments. She is neither a whore or a waste of oxygen. On the roller coaster from hell there are times when it is impossible to express the anguish without hurtful things. I think I am trying to make my wife hurt as much as I do. When I said those things (more than once over the 9 months) we were always in heated arguments and usually around IDK and IDR. I have thrown a beer can at the wall and my WW has smashed a wine glass against the cupboards. I pushed her once, not very hard but a push nonetheless, she stepped back and the coffee table caught her just below the knees and she fell sideways and was bruised on her thigh. I regret all of those but they happened.

I hardly ever cursed pre-adultery. I did not have any respect for people how couldn't seem to talk with out "f**k" in every sentence. Now that is me. The anger is lurking just below the surface just waiting for an excuse to jump out of the bushes and run amuck. The language I have used could certainly be called abusive.

Before adultery I was not like this in any way. The question RI asks is important I think. Is this behaviour in character? I hope your BH is in IC. He needs it.

I have said many things to my WW that were intended to hurt her like I was hurting. But we have had many times when we have cried together. Times when I have held her when she has sobbed uncontrollably (finally after so many years of no emotion). Times when she has held me when I have done the same. I guess what I am trying to say is the periods of anger from both of us is porportionately small.

It seems to me that your BH may be stuck. If this behaviour is constant and has been like this for six months he is not moving. There is no roller coaster. It is all hell. He needs help - for his own sake - but for yours and your childrens sake and safety.

You need to think of your own safety and the safety of your children. I worry about your BHs mental health. I worry that the abuse and physical actions may escalate. Please make sure of your safety. Your IC cannot help you without the truth.

Lastly, I worry about the long term (life long) effects of what is going on. The "sins of the fathers" are inflicted on children at early ages. The disfunction carries through generations. My WW is a poster child for the "sins of the fathers (or mothers). That cycle needs to be broken. Your children need to be safe. They need to know they are not the problem. They will think they are. They need to know they do not have to hold the family together. They will think they do. They need to be in a safe environment and will need counselling.

I am long winded. Please make sure you are safe. Make sure your children are safe. You have made some extremely bad choices. You do not need to live in fear. Be honest in your counselling. You need to fix you for your children. This doesn't mean that your marriage is over but your BH needs to get help.

I hope I can read here in the future that your situation is improving and you and your children are safe.


BH(me)63
WW-57
M 37 years
DDay1-09/1/13;DDay2-10/13;DDay3 12/19/13
LTA-09/02-11/02 EA;12/02-?/06 PA
OM -COW
"dates" w/3 former lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment;years of lies, denial

Posts: 129 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Canada
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Steadychevy, your post was not long-winded it was very helpful in understanding the BS response to all of the betrayal, humiliation and disillusionment that goes with finding out about the affair.

It goes without saying that wearyandworn should call a halt to this abuse. She needs to say enough and mean it. No more spitting or he leaves, with or without police assistance; spitting is a physical assault. No more insults, especially in front of the children.

Call his bluff; give him the divorce papers. If he needs to file then its his choice. This situation just can't go on like this or the children will suffer mightily.


Posts: 1748 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
Jovie
♀ Member
Member # 41956
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry you are going through this. As a WW myself, my heart just breaks for you. I've been called a whore and even referred to myself as one throughout this whole ordeal, but to hear it every day or two is unbearable. This situation seems quite abusive. I really hope he's not acting that way in front of your kids.

Can you urge him to go to individual counseling (IC)? You should be in IC as well, asap. I know it's difficult, and I definitely don't practice what I'm about to preach, but just because you were unfaithful doesn't mean you deserve to be treated like garbage.

I don't understand why he doesn't file for divorce himself if that's what he wants?


Me - WW, 33
Him - BH, 37
Dday - 12/16/13

Posts: 214 | Registered: Jan 2014
familyfirst
♀ Member
Member # 42651
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my. This is so awful, no wonder you are wearyandworn. Steadychevy had a great post, your H is stuck, and now feeling justified to abuse you. You've made mistakes, but keeping your children in an environment like this would be the worst of all. Time to start over for their sake.

Posts: 223 | Registered: Mar 2014
20WrongsVs1
♀ Member
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

6 months out, traditionally, is when the BS's anger can really flare up. We call it the "anger phase" around here. It's a normal, and (when not abusive) healthy part of the BS's recovery process. In that context, this is a normal and understandable reaction to infidelity.

He says he hates me. This isn't fair. He calls me "Mrs So and So" all the time. He says that because I had the affair I have proven that I am in love with the other man and will always be in love with him and have proven that I have never loved my husband.

You get how he could feel that way, right? Saying stuff like that, venting out his feelings, that IMO is alright, if it's not done in front of the children.

This, however, is not a normal and understandable reaction

I have had my face spit in more times than I can count.

That's abusive. Especially if he claims you *made him* do that because you cheated. Nope. You didn't. That's 100% on him, just like your A is 100% on you.

At this point, as hard as it will be, I recommend that you schedule a meeting with him, maybe after kids are in bed, maybe you can have your/his relatives watch the kids, whatever. You ask him what he wants and needs from you, and you tell him what you want and need from him. You tell him, you get that he's hurting, and that you hurt him, but you will not tolerate being spat upon, or things thrown at you, ever, nor will you tolerate obscene words delivered in anger in the childrens' presence. If you can do this inside a counseling session, that'd be ideal.

If his response is, you have no right to tell me what to do, you cheating whore...then you calmly say, sorry, but even though I did a horrible thing, I won't tolerate being spat on or being called a whore in front of the kids. Let's discuss what our living arrangements will be, so that even if we can't be together right now, we can provide a safe, stable environment for the children.

I'm not saying it'll be easy, because it won't. But yes, for the children, for you, you cannot tolerate abuse. You, and they, do not deserve that.


fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1229 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
Christy516
♀ Member
Member # 42546
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, June 3rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wearyandworn i am truly afraid for you. I am a BS and have had more than my fair share of angry outbursts with my H. Name calling, etc. On DDay #2 i threw our wedding picture across the room shattering it. None of these things are right but i think are within the "normal parameters" of anger for a BS. And they are not constant or even daily. There are also times of talking, crying, sharing and genuinely trying to move our M forward to a better place.

Idk if he has always tended towards abusive but that is what this is. No circumstances should ever result in this kind of abuse. My fear is that he will escalate rapidly if you try to leave or present him with divorce papers. BS's are who they are before the A. If he already had an anger control problem then he certainly isn't going to be able to control himself now. If he didn't then your A has triggered it. Your and your children's safety is the priority. We talk about emotional safety a lot on SI but you can'teven begin to address that with your H until you are physically and psychologically safe in your home.

Please consider leaving. And when you do, take precautions. Contact a shelter on your area, they will help you. At the very minimum do not confront him by yourself. That may be what pushes him over the edge into true violence (not to diminish what you have been through already but he could seriously injure you).

You can't begin to work on your M until this is under control. Don't let guilt from the A keep you in a dangerous situation. He needs help. And you and your children need to be safe.


Me: 44
Him: 39
DD: 1/5/14 (the final one)
Trying to recover

Posts: 160 | Registered: Feb 2014
wishicouldredo
♀ New Member
Member # 43623
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am a BH. I am 9 months from DDay. I have called my WW a whore on more than a few occassions. I recently said she was a waste of oxygen. I have regretted those comments. She is neither a whore or a waste of oxygen. On the roller coaster from hell there are times when it is impossible to express the anguish without hurtful things. I think I am trying to make my wife hurt as much as I do. When I said those things (more than once over the 9 months) we were always in heated arguments
The anger is lurking just below the surface just waiting for an excuse to jump out of the bushes and run amuck. The language I have used could certainly be called abusive.

Before adultery I was not like this in any way. The question RI asks is important I think. Is this behaviour in character? I hope your BH is in IC. He needs it.

I have said many things to my WW that were intended to hurt her like I was hurting.

It seems to me that your BH may be stuck. If this behaviour is constant and has been like this for six months he is not moving. There is no roller coaster. It is all hell. He needs help - for his own sake - but for yours and your childrens sake and safety.

Lastly, I worry about the long term (life long) effects of what is going on.

You have made some extremely bad choices. You do not need to live in fear. Be honest in your counselling. You need to fix you for your children. This doesn't mean that your marriage is over but your BH needs to get help.

All of this that steadychevy said. Like you said it's a very rough road and emotions run high. Anger of a BS is like no other anger. I agree he needs IC to help him work through his feelings, gain some coping strategies and move forward in a positive way for himself and family. It is absolutely unacceptable for the children to hear these words. They didn't ask for this (any more than your WH did) and they can't possibly understand. It is damaging everybody.

Agreed the a physical separation may be best for all to dissipate this situation and for you both to do the work you need to do independently. Nothing can come of this cycle. Did you come completely clean on Dday or have you been dribbling it out (TT)? Anger is a warning sign of deeper feelings and a valid emotion, but I agree you need to keep yourself and children safe while he (and you) work through it.

It is a rough roller coaster ride, I wish you the best.


"I'm not where I need to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be."

"Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go." - Mooji


Posts: 40 | Registered: Jun 2014
somethingremorse
♂ Member
Member # 42047
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you are ever going to fix whatever problems allowed you to have an A, and to heal yourself from the damage you caused, you need to someday accept that you are human. That you made horrible mistakes, just like everyone else has made mistakes. You have to realize that you can change from that person and live a life that is true and worthy of respect in the future.

This isn't just a wish -- a "I wish he'd treat me with some respect." It is a goal that you need to strive to reach. You have to realize that you are worthy of respect, and to live that way.

Your BH's anger is understandable. All of us waywards need to take some of it, as a way to heal our BS and our M. But you cannot take so much of it for so long that your BH doesn't heal, that your M doesn't heal, and that you don't heal.


Me: WH (42)
DDay 11/03/13
In MC and IC

Posts: 618 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Pennsylvania
Hisbunnyonly
♀ Member
Member # 38414
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I get divorce papers, then I prove I don't love him.

No this is not true. if you get divorce papers you are proving that you love yourself enough to not continue being in an abusive relationship. i don't know your whole story behind the A so i don't feel comfortable saying YOU in this situation, but i will say alot of A's begin when a person does not love themselves...they need validation from someone and to be told that they are good enough by someone else....b/c they won't tell themselves that and believe it.

i struggled alot in the beginning after DD with self loving.....b/c i knew my actions were selfish, so i didn't want to be selfish, but i felt loving myself was selfish.... but i learned that it's not. a dear friend told me, the only person who you are guarenteed to live your entire life with is you....so you should probably love yourself b/c if you don't it's going to be a long miserable life.


Posts: 75 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: TN
holesinmybucket
♀ New Member
Member # 43621
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BW here
My first dday was 6 months ago and there was an anger and hatred that I could never put into words,however I believe we all have a basic human right (NO MATTER OUR ACTIONS) to be treated with decency, so NO you do not deserve to be treated with such indignant behavior EVER!

Protecting your children from this very painful and unsettling time should be as important to him as it is to you. If possible, maybe working with your husband to schedule a time frame when you are away from the kids to allow his anger to be released, if you are okay with him berating you.

When do I stop begging him to stay and just move out? If I get divorce papers, then I prove I don't love him. If I don't get the papers then I prove I don't love him or respect him because I am not doing what he told me to do. We fight this battle constantly. Some days I resist the papers, others I get them. Just trying to do the right thing to prove to him I want him happy.

I spent 6 of my 13 year marriage slowly giving up everything I needed and wanted, in order to prove my unconditional love to a drunk who never seemed to get it. One of the most freeing realizations in all this mess, is that, the love inside of me is mine and I need not prove it to anyone. See, if I left my husband today, I have no control over how he chooses to see my love for him. In a healthy relationship love is not proven, but shared.

wishing you the best


me:BW 37
him:WH 37 (Dr. Jekyll)
DDay: 1/1/14
Whole truth:March 7th 14

DS 14 DS 10 DD 8
They are the sun that shine through any storm.

Love is not given away, but shared
When you have lost what matters.. what do you have left to loose?


Posts: 36 | Registered: Jun 2014
Girlietoo
♀ Member
Member # 38719
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please take your children and go- even if it means going to a shelter. You are being abused and your children are as well being forced to hear/see those awful things.

I'm a BW and I've been plenty pissed but my god I would never expose my children to that and spitting in your face?! Please, get out as soon as you can.


Me- 40
Him- 47
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died

Posts: 247 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 33
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