Yep -- everything that Moo said.
Keep things business like -- distant and dispasionate. No info except as it pertains to the kids. (or finances if applicable) I was strictly text and e-mail for 99.99% of communiction (and still am)
If she tries to engage about something other then kids and finances -- *crickets* is your answer (i've just re-learned why this is so improtant)
If you get e-mailed scheduals for kids activties just forward them. (At this point my kids are in elementry school, so told him to add himself to the list-serve, he's on the teachers e-mail list - and any paper docs I get that he needs to know about (report cards, passwords for school sites etc.) I take pictures of the actual papers and just text them to him.
I also don't (unless the kids request it) send updates on anything non-esential -- a scraped knee, or bruse or fight with their brother (unless it's part of a bigger issue) doesn't get any communication at all. Events he should be aware of (open houses who's info has gone out of the list serve etc.) also don't get reminders.
I'm so sorry you are gonig through this. the 180 can be hard in the beginning (very hard) but you will find freedom and strength in the distance you find thorugh it.
"On the other side of fear lies freedom"
Me - 36 BS
Him - doesn't matter