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User Topic: What is acceptance?
heartbroken2012
♀ Member
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im feeling down today. Lately when I have triggers or bad thoughts I am trying to use the stop sign method and if I am unable to I just grit and bear it.

BUT I havent been sharing them with WH.

I guess because what's the point? Me sharing all these painful feelings isnt going to rewrite history ...it isnt going to have my WH unfuck the OW.

And I guess for the most part WH and I have been getting along. I just dont feel the same anymore. I dont feel the same way about us, our past, what we meant to each other, us being soulmates, us meeting my destiny etc.

SO is this acceptance? If not, what is acceptance?

I KNOW forgiveness will never happen. And I KNOW I will never feel the same as I did for WH.

I am going to start taking anti depressants. WH and I both agreed I need them. WH claims he is going to get some medicine too...I wont hold my breath on that one. Still no counseling tho.

I dont think WH understands or will ever understand the impact of what he did. He regrets it, but there is no remorse. We are surely rug sweeping.

Just feeling down and a little lonely.

[This message edited by heartbroken2012 at 7:29 AM, June 4th (Wednesday)]


BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)

Posts: 557 | Registered: Jan 2013
brokeninfl
♀ Member
Member # 21896
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are surely rug sweeping

gently -- is the what you want? Do you want more? Because if you do -- DON'T accept. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be at peace.

I don't know if there is a path to happy or peace that includes rug sweeping.

us being soulmates, us meeting my destiny

You are right -- it won't ever be the same, but I've seen people build something new, something good on the ashes of old dreams.

I KNOW forgiveness will never happen. And I KNOW I will never feel the same as I did for WH. . . . Still no counseling tho.

I'm sorry, I didn't go back and read your past posts - but is WH refusing counciling? What about you - are you in IC?

(((HB)))


"On the other side of fear lies freedom"

Me - 36 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.


Posts: 1074 | Registered: Dec 2008
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would call this complacence.

I dont think WH understands or will ever understand the impact of what he did. He regrets it, but there is no remorse. We are surely rug sweeping.

BUT I havent been sharing them with WH.

Why not just write down your feelings and share them in a letter. Don't blame him for things, but just write out and share. Tell him that he isn't required to respond but if he does to please write you back. Just see where that goes. When we read things alone was allow ourselves to be more honest. One doesn't have to play games and hide emotions because they are alone.

I KNOW forgiveness will never happen. And I KNOW I will never feel the same as I did for WH.

And for you it is the working on this. If you know that you'll never forgive him then you are unable to have a good and deep relationship with him. The ones that survive this successfully don't feel the same way about their spouses; they actually feel better then ever about their spouses. For if you can't forgive and heal then you will probably hold yourself back in happiness if you stay.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52977 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
heartbroken2012
♀ Member
Member # 38089
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not in IC. I was, but I am not anymore for money and time issues I guess.

I have tried to email him my feelings and I guess I get long winded because he only ever reads the first paragraph and doesnt read the rest. (so he says)

I dont want to rug sweep, I want true remorse from my husband. But I honestly dont believe that will ever happen.


BS(Me) - 32
WS(HUbbie) - 40
OW - 44 (a ugly, old, white trash horse faced Coworker)
Affair was 2 months long
3 kids - 5yr old, and twins 8 months
Dday - 12/25/12 (lots of signs before I should have seen)

Posts: 557 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 4

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