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Newest Member: 3cjh (44967)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Filed for D today.
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kinda strange, actually. 4 years since d-day, 3+ years from S, I have a completely different life…I finally pushed the D through. I've been trying since March to finish, lots of back and forth again.

Ex finally just gave up and gave me everything I financially wanted and it was filed in court today. I hope the judge doesn't snag it since I requested spousal to be paid even if I remarry, but my L worded it so it shouldn't.

I don't feel sad, I don't feel happy either. Just, kinda…heavy. It is also, oddly, almost exactly 20 years to the day I met him, I filed for divorce. 20 years of my life, this man has fucked with me. From the moment he met me, until yesterday when he was posturing over a minor surgical procedure for ds. 20 years.

Onward.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Cmego))

Onward and upward, for sure.

While it does piss you off they they took 20 years of our lives, at least we can make something awesome from what's left.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7653 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
stungbytravel
♀ Member
Member # 37225
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


(((CMego)))

Onward is right!


Posts: 263 | Registered: Oct 2012
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's going to feel good having that legal tie severed. A weight off your shoulders for sure.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3091 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((cmego)))

Posts: 3388 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((cmego))))

I thought you were already D. Or I should say I assumed. I am sorry you still have this chapter of your life to close.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17632 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I didn't have two papers due by Sunday, I'd be having a drink tonight.

(My new favorite…Jack Daniels Honey Bourbon mixed with lemonade. YUM.)

Due to financial reasons, primarily COBRA cost, we've remained separated for over 3 years. But, this past 6 months I have been pulling everything apart financially. He had no motivation. I sold the car in our name and leased a new one, sold the house that had his name on it and bought one in my name only…and finally just pushed hard enough to get it done. He will have to start paying my COBRA and he isn't happy…but such is life.

Really wish I could have a drink tonight. Gotta go write a paper on the constitutionality of blah, blah, blah. Sigh. I keep procrastinating and hanging out on SI

[This message edited by cmego at 2:33 PM, June 6th (Friday)]


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Onward.
Yes. This. (((cmego)))


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3130 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((cmego))))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4168 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((cmego)))
Look forward only after this point. Only time to look back is to pull up a lesson learned or a great memory!
Hope your future is a bright one moving forward!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2238 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Cmego))))) How long do you expect it to take to finalize, hon?


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25369 | Registered: Aug 2011
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((cmego)))


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two to three weeks, it should finalize. I'm still kinda numb, but OK. I don't feel like celebrating, as much as my friends want me to. It is hard for them to understand that I never wanted the divorce, so this isn't a celebration for me. This is something I had to do.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((cmego)))

I didn't celebrate the divorce. I understand. It is a necessary step. I hope that it frees you to move "onward" in the ways you want to. It is symbolic at this point, but a powerful piece of symbolism.

Paper writing mojo!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5824 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((cmego))

A hard step to take, but a necessary one. Your story is one that broke my heart in a million pieces.

You are truly an inspiration. You have handled yourself with grace and dignity in the most painful and harsh circumstances.

I wish you the very best in this next chapter of your life.

How are your kids? Do they know you filed? I know they have held out hope that you and their dad could get back together.

You're in my thoughts.


Posts: 3385 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Topic Posts: 15

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