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User Topic: Facebook activity log search
Ambergray
♀ Member
Member # 40778
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has anyone checked this on their spouse? I did and found searches for OW once, ex gfs, co workers (women), and sex searches.

How should I proceed? They are searches, not contact, but still...


Me-38
WH-38
Dday June 2013

"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson


Posts: 85 | Registered: Sep 2013
Jls0320
♀ Member
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 12:03 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have looked, luckily I haven't found anything but if I do than crap will hit the fan. I'm sorry :(


Me: 33 Him WS: 33, 2 little boys
Him: EA with coworker, porn/cam/chat site/Craigslist addict. Diagnosed as SA
Together 15yrs, married 6yrs
Dday 9/17/2013, more discovered 1/26/14
NC broken 7/28/14- pathetic piece of crap
Separated

Posts: 199 | Registered: Nov 2013
FixYou71
♀ Member
Member # 42654
Default  Posted: 2:43 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry you had to find this hurtful information. I don't know your story but have you given him your requirements and list of dealbreakers? In other words, does he know that these behaviors (breaking no contact mentally with opposite sex etc) are unacceptable and will not be tolerated? Are there consequences laid out for him if he does cross these boundaries?
These are obviously red flags and completely prohibitive of true reconciliation If that is the goal. Since you are posting in general I'm not sure of the dynamics of your situation.


BS: 43
H: 49
Dday #1 Oct 2007 (Porn for 2 yrs)
Dday #2 May 2013 (Porn for 5 more yrs))
Dday#3 May 2014 (finally admitted to drunk kissing OW in 1994: the 2nd drunken kiss with another woman during our M)
DD 21 and DS 17
Married 1993

Posts: 413 | Registered: Mar 2014
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 4:13 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't know there was a search log. How do do it?
So do you think he's just peeking into diff profiles but not chatting?
I can see someone looking out of curiosity at someone they know but those other searches may be a step away from contact.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 4:16 AM, June 7th (Saturday)]


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4738 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Ambergray
♀ Member
Member # 40778
Default  Posted: 6:19 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After sleeping on it, now I am more confused because I know I have used his fb to do searches on some of these women. Not the sex searches though.


Me-38
WH-38
Dday June 2013

"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson


Posts: 85 | Registered: Sep 2013
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did and found searches for OW once,

this would be a breech in NC for me. She's still in his head. I don';t want to be with him if he's thinking of her.
Is this a dealbreaker for you?


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 48
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

“Slide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."


Posts: 4522 | Registered: Dec 2010
jendo
♀ Member
Member # 43059
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep an eye on this, but do know that they can delete searches if they want.

I did find where my WH searched ow, but it was just one week post dday. I confronted him and told him that nope, it's not ok and as far as I can tell he hasn't done it again.


BW (me) 41
WH 40
3 kids
Dday 4/3/14 EA - They were "in love"
Married 20 years
Working on R

Posts: 122 | Registered: Apr 2014
OutoftheDeep
♀ Member
Member # 42601
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't know there was a search log. How do do it?

Log into fb
On the main page (not the newsfeed) near the main cover photo is a box that says "View Activity Log". Click it.
Now make sure and check the little box at the top of this that says "Include Only Me Activity"
It will show all searches, likes, statuses, etc.


Me - maybe BW
He - maybe WH
both 40ish

My mother was always the OW
ExWH in first marriage had LTA. DDAY was November 2003.
Current marriage:
2/2013 Busted him at strip club.
then...
Porous boundaries w/ ho-worker


Posts: 270 | Registered: Feb 2014
OutoftheDeep
♀ Member
Member # 42601
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, everyone don't forget to check the "Other" section under Messages. This is a big theme in my latest thread and situation.


Me - maybe BW
He - maybe WH
both 40ish

My mother was always the OW
ExWH in first marriage had LTA. DDAY was November 2003.
Current marriage:
2/2013 Busted him at strip club.
then...
Porous boundaries w/ ho-worker


Posts: 270 | Registered: Feb 2014
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The easiest thing would be to just block the OW's profile. Check to see if it remains blocked. After it gets unblocked, it can't be blocked again for I think 72hrs. Then you would have really caught him.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 9yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 918 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, June 7th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it can't be blocked again for I think 72hrs

48 actually.

and it's possible to remove content from the activity feed, so it's not fool proof if they're aware you're watching (or paranoid).


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13565 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 11

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