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Newest Member: 4hazel (45322)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 12 days since Dday, searching for the right course
♂ Member
Member # 35660
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That notepad tells me that she has to still be in the A with him. If he ended it and they had no contact why would she bother doing a define your losses list? That list means she has a choice to make which means the A is still active.

I'd tell his GF immediately.

Posts: 174 | Registered: May 2012
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Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jduff hits the nail on the head. Those items are her pressure points. Nothing else matters to her a divorce filing and her moving out hit all three

She's delusional if she even hopes for a real long term relationship with this guy. He's young and presumably fit and has a bevy of women with time on their hands to chose from. Why choose a much older one with the "baggage" of a thirteen year old daughter?

Maybe the therapist will make her understand this A is based on delusion. But what about the next temptation with a more age and job appropriate OM. Realizing this A can lead nowhere may make her a better person for herself, but do you want to declare yourself Plan B by taking her back even if her therapy works miracles and makes her remorseful she did this to you? Your life, your choice.

While it hurt be thankful you saw the list. You are not delusional. She wrote what she is not just told you in anger. That list was the result of deliberate thought. Never forget it

Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
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Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sigh, as guarded as she is with her phone and computer, do you really think she just left that legal pad there?


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2978 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
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Member # 41947
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You are doing the best you can, but please get R out of your head. Your wife has chosen to destroy her family and marriage and the catalyst is a "spinning instructor" . She regards you as the meal ticket.

When this first tarted, we all told you that the reason she would not leave the gym was because she wanted to try to keep fucking him, and that if his girlfriend ever broke up with him, your wife would bang him again in an instant. THAT IS STILL THE CASE, so what is the to think about R for.

You need to kick her out of your house, let her get an apartment quickly or she is going to be using your home as her sex romp room like she already has. She will find someone else if the spinning instructor does not get the urge to have her again.

You will do yourself a favor if you stop caring about why. She did it, she wants it this way, so what you should be doing is hiring the best lawyer you can afford and making her life as miserable as she made yours. make sure she has to go out an get a job. That will rock her world.

Please do not let your 13 year old melt you into getting back to where you were. She will adjust, Millions of kids turn out just fine from divorced situations, and you will be a much better father when your soul is not being destroyed by this idiot you are now still forced to call wife.

Posts: 1097 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Eastern USA
Topic Posts: 124
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