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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Has anyone dealt with collection agencies because of their ex?
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've always paid my bills on time and never bought more than I could afford....but the WS ran bills up in my name, $37,000 to be exact. He paid off about $25 and still owes, $12k. Then he completely quit paying, leaving me with $3K on a vehicle of his that was in my name (because he claimed he had bad credit because his restaurant went under and his gf/employee was embezzling from him. I believed him at the time because he was a cop and seemed like a good guy. Now I realize he was a sociopath and just used me, but anyway....)he also left me with $10K in credit card bills. I've been with that credit card company since I was 19 and now I am unable to pay the bill and will lose them which really hurts. What also hurts is they are now taking me to court to obtain a judgment for the $10K (and it keeps going up from interest).

There is no way I can pay this. I am on food stamps right now because he left me with such a mess. I have a very low paying job and will not graduate from college for 2 more years. So it will be a while before I can start even sending a little bit in every month.

I am scared to death over what to do here and how to handle this. I hate court. I've never owed anyone money before and I don't know how to handle this.

Has anyone been through this? How did you handle it and what happened?


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15240 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you thought of filing bankruptcy? I know it is not the "easy way out" but it sounds to me like this might be your only option.

I'm sorry you are going through this!


Posts: 2485 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Write a list of all bills and debts in your name and your WH's name - anything that is joint and could come after you. Next, contact a bankruptcy attorney. Bring this information with you for a consultation.

Bankruptcy was made for situations like this. I"m sorry that you're dealing with this.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I think I will try to find a lawyer and consider bankruptcy. I need to figure something because this is making my PTSD go thru the roof. I keep thinking they are coming to get me and I will be going to jail (PTSD can make you a little insane sometimes!)

I know my advocate told me that many collection companies will settle for a lot less than the original debt and that helps keep your credit score salvageable, but I can't even settle right now. I used to have an 830 credit score! I had impeccable credit (I paid cash for my first house!) I can't believe one loser can come in and do so much damage and I can't believe I let him.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15240 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((NA))

I had this happen recently because of my wxh (we've been D for 6 years, but we had a jointly owned business).

I was able to negotiate for a much lower settlement.

I think bankruptcy is your answer. They won't be able to come throw you in jail - they'll just verbally harass you. Stop answering your phone.

Hang in there - you're in my thoughts.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7697 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Williesmom for your experience. It is awful! I hate thinking of starting all over at my age.

They won't be able to come throw you in jail - they'll just verbally harass you. Stop answering your phone.
That is good to know. I know they keep telling me we don't have debtors prisons anymore (good thing!) I had been answering and talking with them and trying to explain the situation, but they are awful. They are terribly invasive and rude. So now if I don't know the number - I don't answer.

I feel like a criminal.....


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15240 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My XPOS has done that to me, and I am trying to crawl out of the debt hole he created for me (he racked up ALL the marital debt that was divided between us). He is pursuing possible bankruptcy, but it is not an option for me (more damage than benefit in the long run). If it is an option for you, TAKE IT. Once you file for bankruptcy, the debt collectors must cease harassing you so that ongoing stress will go away.

Above all, educate yourself about the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act as that spells out what they can/cannot do legally to collect a debt and you will be better equipped to deal with them (see http://www.ftc.gov/enforcement/rules/rulemaking-regulatory-reform-proceedings/fair-debt-collection-practices-act-text).


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
beingmiranda
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Member # 32519
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I helped a family member file for bankruptcy due to the same reasons you have. Cheating husband ran up a lot of debt in her name and then stiffed her with the bill. She was working and had a great job but soon enough it was too much to handle. Its really not a bad process. Your anxieties will lessen because the burden will be lifted off your shoulders. You'll have to pay in cash for a lot of things but you will see after about 3 years, more credit card companies will come around. She now has a card with a limit of $500 which is low but great for emergencies and she can start building up her credit again. You should seriously consider it.


Me: now 38
Him: up and left for OW
OW: old maid mid thirties with biological clock ticking, desparate for a man.
Divorced the cheater - 8/2011
Married the most AMAZING man - 10/2013

Posts: 796 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: NJ
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Phoenix1, thanks...I did look up the Fair Debt Collection Act...it was very informative.

beingmiranda, thanks also. That sounds hopeful to me....and 3 years isn't terribly long, since right now I have to pay cash for everything anyway since he already ruined my credit since I have been sent to collections for all his debt.

What is killing me is that he ran my credit card up while he was down south partying it up (on my credit). He was supposed to use the card only for his business expenses but instead it went for cable porn, booze for "clothes optional" parties, and other lovely expenses.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15240 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 9

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