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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dips!t lost his job...
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I shouldn't be surprised. We were kind of expecting this since Dipshit was arrested in Feb.

Silly stupid me feels sorry for him. When really, I should be angry. This is a natural consequence of his stupidity.

This will put a hold on the divorce. Now I know why we never heard back on the MSA. Thank God my parents are willing and able to care for the kids and I. Health insurance will be our biggest issue. I guess I'll be getting a job quicker than I had planned.

Jeez. xBFF/OW wanted to know how I was doing. Pretty damn shitty, that's how.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1973 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. My ex also lost his job several months ago. He refused COBRA for the kids, so I've been scrambling to try and get health insurance for them. It's taken me three months.

Be open to the possibility that losing a job is sometimes a ploy to avoid paying spousal or child support.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10029 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
southsidecali
♀ Member
Member # 22752
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex lost his job and refuses to get a job, Granted he of course is ALWAYS looking-however, for now he is content with a 15hr a week part time gig that pays minimum wage.


This seems to be a typical ploy as means to manipulate and control you through financial abuse.

[This message edited by southsidecali at 10:30 AM, June 9th (Monday)]


Posts: 859 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: CA
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

XH lost his job twice during the pendency of our D. It was a huge deal. The first time was effectively a demotion. He worked for the same hospital and kept the same benefits. The second time, he had to leave that particular hospital (network of them really) and he lost his benefits. This was an absolute disaster. My kids lost their speech/occupational/physical/behavioral therapists, psychologist, pediatricians, and intensive autism preschool program. They were completely without insurance for about a month, but the new job doesn't provide anything close to the benefits the kids got from the original job.

It didn't affect the D moving forward and he provides support as if he still has the original job. It paid about $20k more than his actual job, so the result is that he is screwed for money. It is very difficult for a job loss (quitting voluntarily or being fired) to have any impact on the support owed. Collection might be more difficult, but it will still be owed and the state enforcement agency will pursue it.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dipshit was arrested at work on his "Attempted Solicitation of a Minor" charges. I suspect the cops also confiscated his work computer. He's a programmer. I suspect his work has been waiting for an excuse to get rid of him ever since.

My concern is whether or not his arrest (charges were withdrawn) will show up on background checks by prospective employers. He has really messed up his future.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1973 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oy! What is it with these guys and losing their jobs?? Oh, right...they make poor life decisions. Why would we think that they only make those in regards to their personal lives?

Try not to worry about the consequences for him and his ability to get another job. Honestly, not looking good for him. Try to focus on you and what you need to provide for you kiddos. Put your energies in moving your life forward (and the D forward as well).


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4744 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why would you have to put a hold on your divorce? What you want in SS, CS or insurance coverage can be left as is in the MSA with the proviso that they will be paid by him when he gets another job. Obviously you get nothing now, but if you wait for him to get his act together, you could be married to this jerk forever.

It's nice that you are a compassionate person and actually feel sorry for him. That's what he wants. But your compassion is going to keep you from a peaceful life. Divorce him and move ahead with your life.


Me: BW 60
Him: STBXWH 62
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/2014

Posts: 486 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You've got a good point. I won't delay if I don't have too. Just didn't know if we could do an MSA when he's unemployed. 32% of nothing is nothing...


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1973 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As I said in my post, XH's support is calculated as if he had the job from the time we first S. He's taken a $20k pay cut since then. It won't be calculated based on 0 income.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When support is calculated they will use standard formulas which will make assumptions about income. They will assume that your STBX has a full-time job, just as they assumed I have a full-time job when calculating my support. FTR, I do not have a full-time job, I haven't since 1999, and despite looking for 1.5 years I still do not have a full-time job. So the calculations were based on mythical money which does not exist. Doesn't matter. Just like it won't matter that your STBX doesn't have a job at the moment. It will be assumed that he does.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10029 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just didn't know if we could do an MSA when he's unemployed. 32% of nothing is nothing...

Check your state CS laws. In my state, if there is unemployment by a parent it does not calculate based on an assumed minimum wage job. Rather, there is a minimum of $50/month imposed if there is no income at all. So even if there is a pt minimum wage job, it will always be a minimum of $50 (or greater if determined by actual income).

Yeah, one can really do a lot with $50/month to support kids, but it is what it is...

Point being, every state is different.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1264 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
sadcountryboy
♂ Member
Member # 43058
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, June 11th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine lost her job after her boss found out about her and her coworkers affair. Didn't really bother me as I've pretty much always been financially independent. Plus we don't have kids. Sucks for her though.


Me: BH 34
Her: WW 30
Lived together 5-1/2 years
Married almost 2 years
D-Day 3/17/14
Affair for 8 months with a married man at her job
I don't even know who she is. Maybe never did.
Separated 3/21/14
headed to D

Posts: 67 | Registered: Apr 2014
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, June 11th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, pity party for Dipshit is officially over.

Just found out that Dipshit was let go because he tested positive on a random drug screening. Who the hell is the stranger I was/am married to?!! Now I have to worry that my kids are safe around him.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1973 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Topic Posts: 13

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