Every one of us has ridden the emotional roller coaster. The ups and downs are really dramatic at first but over time, they level out. Your month away is an opportunity to experience life without him and with you! That was the strangest part the first month ex-shat was gone...I had to look around and figure out what I was without him. Those answers didn't come in a month, though. They took awhile and a lot of dips and turns on the roller coaster. Use your time as a period of learning about what you want for yourself and your relationship.