I have good friends who have suggested a revenge affair for me as a way heal.
So, I think there are likely a lot of people out there who will not judge you harshly.
Of course there are a lot of people who will, but who cares. Do what YOU need to do to heal.
I know this was a couple weeks and pages back, but the fundamental flaw in this is pure self interest, and that is why it is wayward thinking and why a "revenge" affair is just an affair with [insert justification here].
There isn't a BS on this site that doesn't know the pain of betrayal and desire to escape it. That is why we are here to support each other.
The idea that cheating is okay under certain circumstances - re: evening the odds, escaping the pain, etc - is no different from what started the whole mess in the first place. The WS wanted something, for whatever reason, and took it, damned be the rules and the feelings of anyone else involved. Some WS are hurting and miserable, some are angry, some feel cheated and want to 'get theirs' and some are just plain fucking stupid or locked into tunnel vision that makes the goal seem more and more okay.
Like Razor says, you make this about your WS, that validates their behavior. You want to promote the idea that some moron out there thinks cheating to even the odds works out great, whatever, go for it. Those people are fucking morons, and I'd be happy to deconstruct whatever stupid ass reasons they think legitimizes the position.
When you do what you need to do to heal without regard to anyone else or without accepting responsibility for your actions, it's just the same damn thing set on repeat.