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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Where do I even post this?
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously, we need a Ripley's believe it or not forum on here. Or at least a thread titled along those lines. I couldn't decide if this belonged in NB or Div/Sep or General. It really fits best on F&G except for, you know, the infidelity part.

On with the latest WTF. I'm divorced, coming up on 4 years in September. I don't even remember the date. (Ha! That is cool ) Anyhoo, my kids are grown, I have no (zero,none,nada) contact with X. We are not friends, as I do have standards for being a friend, and lying, cheating, betrayal and general assholyness just aren't on that list. Here's the email I got from him today:

What do you think of the possibility of visiting youngest DD at the same time at the end of the month? Split the cost, help each other with the drive, etc?

I just about spit all over the computer screen!!! Seriously?!?!? I think the very last of his brains leaked out of his ears recently. For him to think that I or my daughter would be up for this is INSANE. Not only are we talking a 15 hour one-way car trip, but also staying at my daughter's 2 bedroom apartment! (she has the week of July 4 off work and he had dibs on visiting her that week - I was going to go if he didn't). Not one thought in his empty little pinhead about how incredibly inappropriate this is or how uncomfortable it would be for our daughter, let alone me.

I have, of course, considered doing it - in a fantasy in my head way only! - just to piss off the OW. I can just picture the FB posts and "family" pictures I could cook up! The truth of the matter is that I don't even care enough to call him out on how stupid this is in an email - there is no point in trying to deal with crazy. I figured that out 4 years ago when I went ahead with the divorce. It is, however, worth posting in the "stupid shit the X says" hall of shame on SI.

As for a response, I think a simple one-word email will do: "NO."

[This message edited by kernel at 8:00 PM, June 13th (Friday)]


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
nomistakeaboutit
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is just no explaining this, unless:

1. he wants to borrow money and needs the time to make his case.

2. He was drinking heavily.

I guess I would say, "no, I'm not interested in that, but if you aren't able to go, I will."

He sounds like quite a guy!


Me: BH 58.........Her: WW 45
DD: 8..........DS: 5
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 953 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn, kernel, what about a warning?

I inhaled sharply, laughed (out loud), snorted, and ended up with tears in my eyes.

Oh, yes this is pure GOLD, for the hall of fame of assholyness (which is my favorite word of the day.)

The inhaled is because I just. can't. even begin.... to IMAGINE the thought process...

There are few people I would willingly spend 15 hours in a car with. And topping the list of people I would NOT, would be any wayward idiot who floats this kind of brainwashed "wisdom."

What was he thinking?

I do love the "fantasy" of all the meaningful conversations you could have. And the OW bait pictures.

He asked you what you THINK?


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nomistake - he can afford the trip, he makes a ton more money than I do. Of course, he and OW have been busy spending it like crazy. I like your suggested response - thanks!

CG - I like the way you think. I'll check out the gifs!

[This message edited by kernel at 7:03 PM, June 12th (Thursday)]


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

huh. How is not being trapped in a small box, breathing the same air, and hurtling through time and space at 75 mph for 15 hours with your ex not the most epically awesomest adventure evah??

Am I missing something here?


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wait....He is still with OW? He suggests the two of you drive 15 hours to stay in your daughter's 2 bedroom apt? I am speechless.
Is there trouble in Rainbow-land or was he talking about the 3 of you going together? No matter how dumb-ass the OW is would she let this scenario happen?
Damn the level of stupidity is astounding.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1664 | Registered: Mar 2004
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wait....He is still with OW?

Well, as far as I know. I don't keep tabs, but my kids haven't mentioned a split. And, yep, that's what he's suggesting. Not to mention, how would that week with our daughter play out? So, tesla, not just the awesomest car ride and the apartment sharing, but playing tourist together. Or maybe I was going to get mornings and he would get afternoons. Who knows what the hell he has in mind!?!?!

CG - can't decide if I should go with a shocked, hysterical laughter or horrified gif.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trapped in a car for 15 hours...with my X....I think that is the definition of purgatory!!!


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17674 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trapped in a car for 15 hours...with my X....I think that is the definition of purgatory!!!

No, it's the definition of hell!


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

can't decide if I should go with a shocked, hysterical laughter or horrified gif.

It won't matter because he will see what he sees... somehow, your gif will morph into something... likely, it will probably be "lustful and longing with an offer to pay for all the gas and do half the driving."


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm pretty partial to this one:



"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excellent choice, kernel.

Lord amighty.

[This message edited by nowiknow23 at 8:51 PM, June 12th (Thursday)]


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25667 | Registered: Aug 2011
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It would be funny as hell to accidentally forward his email to the OW!!!! I assure you, she has NO idea he sent this to you!!!!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2195 | Registered: Jan 2012
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

homewrecked, that would be funny! Too bad I don't know her email address. Really though, I wouldn't want to stir the crazy, but it's fun to think about.


For CG: check this out: http://twistedsifter.com/2012/04/50-animated-gifs-for-every-situation-ever/

[This message edited by kernel at 8:56 PM, June 12th (Thursday)]


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After all these years I thought I had heard most every WTF cockamamie delusional request from a WS. But this one made me realize how naive I am about the depths of stupidity a WS can sink to...


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1664 | Registered: Mar 2004
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can pack the snacks for the road. Bring a pillow so whoever is taking a break from driving can have a nap. You can take turns deciding what radio station to listen to each hour.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1664 | Registered: Mar 2004
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

rising, I think it would be a non-stop loop of AC/DC's Highway to Hell on the radio.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

kernel, those were great!!

If you sent that link to your ex, he'd see the "You're Awesome gif" for all 50 I bet. And if you took that trip, you would end up wishing you could strangle yourself with a telephone cord. Foiled by the cell phone age!!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, June 13th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe he is just like my FT and has no clue at all? Meaning, this sound like a great idea in his head and has no clue why you wouldn't agree? My ex would think he was being nice....sharing the costs.....letting you get to visit your DD when you didn't think you would, etc.

Regardless, you have been able to detach so I wouldn't even say anything that would engage him into conversation/debate.

A simple "No thanks" is sufficient (even though your brain is screaming other things).


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2170 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, June 13th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Although I LOVE the gifs, anything that can be confused - will be.

"No."is a complete sentence.

It comes with the added gift of not confusing him.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5249 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
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