OW needs a place to vent? AYFKM???
My sentiments exactly. And it makes me sick that he is blowing off the contact, especially to YOU, that she needs a place to vent! What about you and your feelings? Why the hell should you have to be her sounding board after what she's done to you?
I agree with the posters who said he wants to be in contact with her. Keep your radar up - he may block her on e-mail, tablet, etc., but could get a pre-paid cell phone.
Definitely broach this at MC. Frankly, IMHO, he needs IC. MC is absolutely futile of the WS is not remorseful.
Hugs to you...
But, it is the only way out. Educate your husband, and get him the book "Not Just Friends." Read it with him. Insist on NC, and if necessary, a trial period. Like, "give me 6-12 months of your full attention, and then if you can't be happy, so be it."
He is not thinking rationally, and either is she. Protect yourself from her, and I would seriously get a restraining order if she continues to harass you.
Biggest Q - does the OBS know? That may bring the quickest end to this, if she is married.
I edit, therefore I am.
As for your WH - some here will tell you that 'coming out of the fog takes time'. I'm more of a 'shock therapy' person. For a week after DDay my WH would send her a message apologizing (knowing I was going to blow it all up), etc. That stopped when I told him to get the hell out and meant it!! When I took away the option of having two, he realized really quickly which one he wanted, and it wasn't her. It almost never is.
So he wants to give her a place to vent? Great. Tell him to get his own place and let her vent, but as far as you're concerned, you're not married any longer, and tell him you want him gone NOW. He'll yell, scream, etc. and then when reality hits, he'll realize what he's done and he'll stop.
He can't imagine you not being there. Show him that you absolutely can disappear from his world, and you won't look back.
Be careful. My H's AP did the same thing and it didn't take long for me to figure out what her plan was. At first, she SAID she wanted to "apologize". Then she proceeded to tell me how much in love my H and her were, how passionate their relationship was, how he told her she would be all his someday, etc. I have finally blocked her, but it was too late. Her words haunt me and torture me and I am pretty sure that was her intent. She wants me to be so disgusted with my H that I will not be able to recover or stand the sight of him. And, believe me, R has been difficult for me because of her "reaching out to me like she did".
If you plan on R, BLOCK HER immediately.
Your character is what you do when you think no one is watching.
I can't thank everyone enough for their support. I so desperately need this outside support. Hugs to everyone going thru this mess.