I used to think only men had affairs....until 2 years ago.
Who the hell did I think these men were sleeping with? 20 something year old unwed cuties with lotion on their hands????
Those SI members whom I follow closely? Very few fit this mode of affairs. Most WW and female AP's are married, with kids, and middle aged. So where did this whole idea of "women need security and monogamy" get born? It appears a vast majority of female AP's are already in a monogamous relationship when they decide to cheat.
perhaps it is hard wired in them (to be monogamous, but their FOO f's with them so bad that the wiring gets crossed? I am open to that being the case....but not sure.
So, see, I myself helped propogate a lie. I was so ignorant. I was one of those poor saps who would have enthusasitically agreed to my wife taking a male "running partner" out for runs with her......and totally trusted her. Some of that false-trust was born from that lame idea that women need deep honest connection and long-term committment to have sex with a man. I guess that may be true, but it is equally true my wife was able to create THAT without facts....and it allowed her to chose adultery.
So what is real? What is truth?
....its certainly not that a stellar hand job is the key to monogamy. Pretty sure a guy can do that all on his own. If they were "all that", why would a guy get married?
If you use the internet formula for adultery....I am the WS.
CSA, regular porn use, stressful job, a distant wife = me being the WS.
There is a real mode of operation in society that shrugs personal responsibility from any shoulder it tries to land on.
The truth is just as you point out. We have free will. We have choices. I should expect myself to walk into a room filled with naked women ready to go and NOT choose adultery. If I fail...I should not blame the women.
I had a choice to go into that room.
I had a choice to stay in that room.
I had a choice to say hi.
I had a choice to get naked.
I had a choice to have sex once I got into that room.
We have choices....we are not lab rats.
Anyone of us is hours away from adultery if we so choose. Maybe in 1950 rural kansas opportunities were really limited...but even then adultery was a choice and prevailent.
Seems like the "smarter" we get, the further into molecular study we go to explain away destructive personal choice...make it some sort of chemical reaction within us and that our poor choices are just a factor of molecular interaction--that we are "just along for the ride".
Some men are slaves-
to their own dick tates.
How does slavery feel, boys?
(and I mean that in every sense of the word!)
"I freed a thousand slaves. I would have freed a thousand more - if they knew they were slaves!"
(1) When a person cheats, they betray themselves along with their loved ones.
(2) Over the years, I have realized that I give myself the best hand jobs.
(3) I have never cheated. Therefore, my own hands have kept me faithful.
Wow....this guy knows what he is talking about!!!
If he would just convince men to masturbate more...and become experts in this field...then there would be no need/desire to stray.
[This message edited by jb3199 at 8:10 AM, June 15th (Sunday)]
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D
Oh, I know, maybe some of us are "too available", you know "men like the chase" and spoiling them with blowjobs might make them cheat
I read one the other day as well. It said that As are the result of the M drifting apart, and that the reason the BS didn't have an A as well due to "lack of options
God, please tell me where this paradise is where there is a "lack of" cheating, whoring, "options" for having an A. I want a one way ticket to the Shangri-La place where these "options" don't exist and only honest, faithful people roam.
To everyone who responded!!!!! Thank you for the fun!!!
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
I am here to go on record to say I give awesome blow jobs and hand jobs on a regular basis and I still ended up here.
Raising hand here too! If I don't say so myself, I have always put a lot of energy into this particular area of expertise. Guess it didn't count for much.
Oh wait, I forgot---I don't have the Golden Handjob Manual! That's what was missing!
WinterBranch, I think something is wrong with my hand right now too----the middle finger is frozen upright.
Suspect OW doesn't even have lips I'm not even joking. Especially not the pillowy, fluffy, goddess lips of mine.
So where did this whole idea of "women need security and monogamy" get born?
Blakesteele, these bullshit concepts are some of the biggest brainwashing lies on humanity of all time. All these "men need to spread their seed" but "women want monogamy" stupid things.
I have a lot of thoughts on this kind of stuff. we can agree that all this crap is based off of a "what would cavemen/women do" mentality. What did humans - before societal expectations, civilization, consequences - naturally do? Let's break down the lies:
Men need to spread their seed and aren't wired for monogamy - no, it does a man no good to "love em and leave em". In a hostile environment like ancient earth, what good does it do to create children, leave their mothers, go onto create different children, leave THOSE mothers, go on to create more children and so forth? All these children and mothers, left to the sabre tooths to eat and enemy men to take and potential to starve? Makes no sense.
Women need to care for the children through monogamy- why? there could have been benefits to women being nonmonogamous. Sleeping with different men, especially in days where paternity could never be proven, might ensure the protection and resources of several men rather than one. If you screw 3 men in a month, have a baby, and all of those 3 men (remember no way for paternity proof) have to gamble whether to abandon a child that might be theirs. All of them might provide for the child in some way. AND not only the men, but all of their tribe and family might provide for said mother/child, just in case child is his. ( I actually read all this in a 100 yr old anthropology book). Mom now has 3 times the resources and protection, especially if they don't all know about each other.
Men want nonmonogamy and will cheat, women want monogamy and won't cheat - how on earth would this make sense?? I don't care what god or system or whatever you believe in, this makes zero sense. two genders of the same species with COMPLETELY opposing agendas??? wtf This, imo, was created by men to get away with cheating and to keep women in line. I mean, funny, men don't want monogamy but they sure as fuck believe in it when their woman wants to cheat!!???
Monogamy makes total sense. get together, make babies, two parents fight off the sabre tooths and the Neanderthals and gather twice the berries. No sexually transmitted diseases, which probably killed off people by age 20 if you weren't careful back then. Solid knowledge of maternity/paternity of the children to avoid inbreeding within tribes. Children/mother protected everyday, not left literally to the wolves while daddy runs off and bangs hos over in the next mountain.
Loyalty would pay off in other ways as well: no 911 meant you better not have pissed your wife off before you broke your leg in a buffalo hunt and need a nurse.
In short, NOBODY;, men or women, anywhere in the WORLD, throughout ALL TIME, likes to be cheated on!!! So how did anybody ever justify it from some sort of primitive man perspective??? It makes zero sense.