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User Topic: I am annoyed by WS's mood for Father's Day
JustOneMoreDay
♀ Member
Member # 42945
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So WS is super weepy today and also somewhat pouty. I know he is really feeling shame over what he has done to his family and how it has hurt his children but it comes across as somewhat poor me. It's aggravating me. Does that make me a bad person?

The kids all got him gifts. We planned on going for a picnic but the weather isn't cooperating. We have all asked him what he would like to do today to no avail. Just pouting or that's how I am seeing it. It's likely more shame than anything.

Do I leave him to his misery? Keep trying to get him to do something?

I was diagnosed with a STD this week. I'm not feeling very charitable. He took that hard. However, I have had a super stressful and emotional couple of days and he has not stepped up.


Me -BS 39
Him-WS 38
Dday #1 February 14, 2003 EA(not a typo. He did it AGAIN eleven years later)
Dday #2 March 17, 2014 LT PA
Dday #3 June 29, 2014(found evidence something had gone on with his sister's best friend)
Dying Inside and in limbo

Posts: 125 | Registered: Mar 2014
Dagny07
♀ Member
Member # 16928
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Humph. Since he seems unable to "grow a pair", maybe you should've gotten him some for Father's Day.


Me:BW Him: FWH E/A
M: 29 years, together 36 : both guilty of PAs 20+ years ago
CDay#1 Oct 06 (false); DDay#2 Oct 07 (truth from OW's BH)
R: Tenaciously optimistic

Posts: 837 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Midwest
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, you don't keep trying to get him to do something. He got gifts from the kids. You asked what he wants to do, he won't answer. You have done your part.

Make your picnic foods and set them up on a blanket in the living room for the kids. Try to relax a little and enjoy the indoor picnic with your kids. He can either join you all, or sit pouting in the corner.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5584 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
identitylost
♀ Member
Member # 34496
Sad  Posted: 9:56 AM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think it makes you a bad person; especially after your STD diagnosis this week (sorry).

I'd tell him, away from your kids, what you are feeling and remind him that this day is just as much about allowing your children to show their appreciation to him as it is for him receiving that appreciation. Your kids are apt to feel that they did something wrong if he is going to boohoo the whole day.

If he can't pull it together, you do something fun with the kids. He made his bed....


Me: BS (37)
Him: someone else's problem
1DS (3)
M: 5yrs
OW: irrelevant at this point.
DDay: 12/17/11
Divorced: 01/13

Posts: 203 | Registered: Jan 2012
JustOneMoreDay
♀ Member
Member # 42945
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone.

He is sad because he says he has hurt his children. Trouble is, when he is sad, he is irritable. He ruined my birthday by texting the ow the entire time. Mother's Day was a pain filled emotional day. I just wanted him to show some greatfulness especially considering this week.


Me -BS 39
Him-WS 38
Dday #1 February 14, 2003 EA(not a typo. He did it AGAIN eleven years later)
Dday #2 March 17, 2014 LT PA
Dday #3 June 29, 2014(found evidence something had gone on with his sister's best friend)
Dying Inside and in limbo

Posts: 125 | Registered: Mar 2014
inshockandhurt
♀ Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tell him to man up and stop being such a baby. He hurt his kids? Then it's time to stop hurting them. Just like someone else said, Father's Day is just as much about the kids as it is about the Father and acting like a child isn't being a good Father.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 280 | Registered: Mar 2013
inshockandhurt
♀ Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs, by the way JOMD, holidays are hard.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 280 | Registered: Mar 2013
sparklezombie
♀ Member
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I say give him a good junk punch for the STD and then let him pout by himself until he finds his big girl panties


BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 253 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
Topic Posts: 8

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