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User Topic: Business trip and absolutely dreading it!
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is inevitable, I know that, and better to get it over with than drag it out. I am talking about the fact that I am heading out of state for mandated training that all our state affiliates are required to attend. That means colleagues from all 50 states that I have worked with for almost five years, so we know each other well. I am dreading it because it is the first business trip/interaction with these fine folks since the death of DS, bro, and SIL. Word has obviously spread since then. They will all be well-meaning, and I get that. But I am going to be inundated with the well-meaning "sorry for your loss" comments over the next week. My healing is very fragile right now, and I just don't know if I am mentally ready for the bombardment. One or two, sure, but it is going to be much more than that.

I am trying to prepare myself, and bring a level of detachment to get myself through it, but I am not looking forward to the week because of it...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1206 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to you and practice a simple , "thank you, I appreciate it." You might have a couple of topics in your back pocket to change the conversation to.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2261 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, June 15th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there a colleague you're close to that could help you out by being a shield/wingperson? Someone you could lean on a bit if needed?

((((Phoenix)))) Sending you strength for the trip, honey.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25843 | Registered: Aug 2011
yewtree
♀ Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there someone who can give everyone a heads up to avoid the subject? Maybe that person can tell the group that you know they mean well, and that you appreciate their concern, but what you really need is to focus on the training.

Would anybody step up and say that for you?


must be time for bed... I think it makes more sense now.

[This message edited by yewtree at 12:21 AM, June 16th (Monday)]


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4698 | Registered: Oct 2007
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:37 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix1))) I'll be sending good thoughts your way, Phoenix.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38205 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 5

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