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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Father's Day
SeanFLA
♂ Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found this kind of interesting. I make sure my son has something every birthday and Mother's Day to give to his mom. Even though I practice strict NC with her and she makes my skin crawl. I never let him go empty-handed...card and a small gift. We go together and pick something out. He's 14 so I don't expect him to remember all the time. He's still kinda dorky about dates like that given his age.

Well my birthday was the last week of May and of course Father's Day yesterday...and nothing. I'm not overly upset with it. I'm not upset with my son whatsoever. He did wish me a happy Father's Day and we spent the day fishing at the beach. My feeling is a good parent (on her end) needs to help remind her child of the other parent's birthday or Fathers Day events at that age. It's good manners going into adulthood. I guess I just find it interesting. But as a person with a soul, I will continue to make sure he brings his mother something for those events. I believe in leading by example regardless of who the recipient is on the other end.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1456 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
Acer0112
♀ Member
Member # 43241
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry to hear, it's those special days that just a little wish goes a long way. I can relate, I didn't get one thing for Mothers Day either. I wasn't mad at the kids (11, 13), they gave me hugs and said the right things. But they obviously felt bad they didn't have anything to give me. They realized they could make cards, but I told them being with them was the best present. Made the day special as you did with your fishing day.

I am saddened that the WS selfishness and anger or whatever resentment they may believe to have towards us prevents them from helping the kids learn to give cards and wishes and to be prepared on holidays and birthdays. In the end, To not make them feel bad. It's from the kids, not the X.


D-Day 1/24/14
D-Day2 04/08/14, false R
16yrs married, 22 yrs together
Separated, divorcing

Posts: 178 | Registered: Apr 2014
hurting mom
♀ New Member
Member # 12869
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You sound like a good man and are teaching your son to be a respectful, caring son (and husband some day.) He is a lucky kid to have you as his dad.

My idiot WH did NOTHING for my birthday or Mother's Day. So I bought myself two cards (along with cards for my mom and MIL,) gave them to my kids and said, "write me a nice note saying what a good mom I am."

And yes, I did get him a Fathers Day card, gift and dinner.

It is all about teaching your kids to do the right thing.


Posts: 50 | Registered: Dec 2006
Thinkingtoomuch
♀ Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Hi, Sean

Sorry that's the kind of fallout you have to deal with.

Happy Birthday and Happy Father's Day! It sounds like enjoying your son was a good gift to yourself and him. You're teaching your son well.


Hugs.



Posts: 752 | Registered: Apr 2011
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But as a person with a soul, I will continue to make sure he brings his mother something for those events.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 3785 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That quality time fishing with your son was worth more than anything your WW could have conjured up to give you.

For all you know he asked her to help him with something and she refused. Kwim?

You're doing a good job.

High road my friend. Nice work.


Me: BS 44
Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat
Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
Heading for Divorce
3 kids: 15,17,19

Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart, wait for The Lord.


Posts: 1720 | Registered: Aug 2013
one2ndchance
♀ Member
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're doing what a good parent does..teaching through example. Thank goodness he has at least one good parent.


Me: BW 59
Him: STBXWH 61
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorcing

Posts: 479 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry Sean. You are teaching him right. And you are a better person than I am because this is one area I stuggle with. I can't bring myself to buy anything for my ex from the kids. I know I probably should because of what it teaches them. But given their ages, he knows the thought it coming from me so I just can't bring myself to do it.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1561 | Registered: Aug 2010
Topic Posts: 8

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