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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Father-in-law just had a heart attack
knockeddown
♂ Member
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I found out (via text from STBXW), I responded, "Oh, God. I will keep him in my prayers."

Is that enough? He was a part of my life for 9 years. How do I navigate this tough terrain and maintain NC. FIL has not reached out to me since everything happened some 3 months ago.


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Marriage Dissolved - 10/9/2014

Posts: 105 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((knockeddown)))) I'm so sorry. This is hard stuff and there's no right answer here. I think you have to do what feels right given your relationship (past and current) with your FIL.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25765 | Registered: Aug 2011
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

that's rough! I had a good relationship with my mil and they didn't reach out to me afterwards either. If you do decide to reach out be prepared for rejection. Do what you feel you can live with. If you feel you will regret never contacting him, then contact him.

((knockeddown))


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 651 | Registered: Jan 2012
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What you did is enough, for now.

Don't know what your placement schedule is, but you could offer to take your DD more than *scheduled* if your stbxw needs to be with her dad.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8087 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
knockeddown
♂ Member
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nowiknow23 - thanks. Unfortunately I know there is no right answer. I feel angry at him because he hasn't reached out to me, but at the same time I feel so sad for him that he is going through this.

courageous - It's amazing how you can have such a good relationship with your in-laws and then they just abandon you, isn't it? I think it may have to do with her reporting how "terrible" of a husband I was, etc so that she can justify her actions. I have to think on whether or not I could live without contacting him.

gonnabe2016 - thanks for the advice on keeping my DD more. I offered that, but it's complicated because STBXW is a teacher and is off this summer. Therefore, she keeps DD with her all day.


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Marriage Dissolved - 10/9/2014

Posts: 105 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 5

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