nowiknow23 - thanks. Unfortunately I know there is no right answer. I feel angry at him because he hasn't reached out to me, but at the same time I feel so sad for him that he is going through this.
courageous - It's amazing how you can have such a good relationship with your in-laws and then they just abandon you, isn't it? I think it may have to do with her reporting how "terrible" of a husband I was, etc so that she can justify her actions. I have to think on whether or not I could live without contacting him.
gonnabe2016 - thanks for the advice on keeping my DD more. I offered that, but it's complicated because STBXW is a teacher and is off this summer. Therefore, she keeps DD with her all day.