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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I'm a *shake-down* artist & he's pissed abt the $ of our D .....
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm "shaking him down for his income."

I need to "leave his future earnings alone".

I am not the victim in this scenario. (uh....yea, ok, mr. mask-wearing serial cheater )

He hopes that I get to see what it's like to start with nothing and have to EARN my own money.

Monster is pissed about how much this D is costing. His L charges over $500/hr and does business an hour away from us. So anytime the guy has to come to any type of D event in our area -- he's collecting over $1000 JUST to fucking drive out here. (I really don't believe he's all that upset about it because he's said that he's fine with burning through all of our money on the divorce because he'll just make more to replace it and "what are you gonna do when the money's gone?")

I'm REALLY not liking him very much at this moment......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gonna - I solemnly swear, when (note - not if, WHEN) this is all over, I'm buying the first round.

This guy.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25515 | Registered: Aug 2011
LifeIsBroken
♀ Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will never understand how this person who vows to love, cherish, honor…. does the opposite when D proceedings begin. How can you live with someone for years, love & share yourself with that person, have children with that person then, once the A brings on the D, the cheater becomes so hateful and vindictive. What the hell is wrong with people ????


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 495 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're getting to him, he's not getting his way, that's why he's acting like a 2 year old.

just keep being strong. Shields up, NC if you can.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2147 | Registered: Jan 2012
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a jerk!!! It's like they read from the same cheaters handbook....act angry about the consequences of their actions and want us to suffer immensely because of it.

It will be over one day. A judge will hopefully see through his behavior.


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 651 | Registered: Jan 2012
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As he was bitching about the cost and having to *fund my future life* I responded (2x) that what was happening right now was a consequence of his poor behavior and choices and that if he was upset about it that he needed to go and rant at the guy in the mirror. And I also told him that the divorce laws are in place so that people like him wouldn't be allowed to fuck over people like me (he built our very-successful business on *my* back and now wants to ride off into the sunset with a wave and "see ya" to me).

I will never understand how this person who vows to love, cherish, honor…. does the opposite when D proceedings begin

I know, right? I am totally grace,grace -- you're a cheater, I'm not, so let's just part ways -- FAIRLY and with a head-nod towards what each person brought to the marriage. Nope. NOT Monster. He seems to see me as some type of personal assistant that he's already *paid* for and now thinks that I need to just go about my merry way. WRONG answer, dude.

he's not getting his way,

Yea, this all started because he was wanting to make arrangements to have someone come and get *his* pool table from the house and I told him that he needed to wait on those arrangements because the pool table wasn't *his*.

I solemnly swear, when (note - not if, WHEN) this is all over

People actually GET divorced??????
I have a trial date set for sometime in mid-August, but I'm betting that it's going to get pushed out because of his obstinance regarding disclosure. The f'n guy is wandering through life right now as if he's a divorced guy instead of a *getting divorced* guy.

To say that I'm irritated is an understatement....

[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 9:56 PM, June 16th (Monday)]


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here... let me play you the worlds smallest violin.

Shaking him down? Are people still saying that outside of mob movies?

You don't need to do a motherfucking thing. If the law says you might be entitled to it you go for it.

Now if we had a time machine and you could rewind the last 20 years I'd be glad to have you earn your own money - money you would have to share with him if the roles were reversed even if he was still the cheater. Actually if we had a time machine he would never be in your life.

There is no victim here. There is due course.

Do you have his remark about burning through he money in writing? The sad clown milked me dry too for the same reason. We didn't have a lot to start with as he had been burning money for years and we don't have SS here and CS is a joke. But he is still pissed off that he has to pay me 600 p/m in CS out of his $250k+ income.

Sheesh. Why does he think you still give a flying fuck? I hope you're not responding to this drivel.

Whiney whine whine. Talk to your L, dude. You don't pay me to listen to you whine like a little bitch and as I'm not your wife anymore I don't have to.

Let him argue that you ARE still his wife. That would be a hoot!!

Crickets. Skinny little crickets for him.

[This message edited by SBB at 10:14 PM, June 16th (Monday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5578 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you have his remark about burning through he money in writing?

Yep.

rewind the last 20 years I'd be glad to have you earn your own money - money you would have to share with him if the roles were reversed even if he was still the cheater.

Another yep.
The sociopathic guy kept me in a gilded cage. I always wanted to do *something* with my life. I was totally NOT one of the girls that grew up looking for a guy to take care of her. I was constantly wanting to go back to school and have a career of my own -- especially when I saw the huge discrepancy in our SS statements that are mailed out every year. BUT NO. HE proclaimed that it didn't matter because *he* would always "take care of me".

I couldn't be let out of the *cage* because I might find someone taller or nicer than him that I would run off with .......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

.....and PS. Monster considers you all to be *internet loons*.


(I ended up just giving him :rolly eyes: to his nonsense and he told me that only the internet loons were *down* with that (paraphrasing)).


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey gonna! Sorry to hear that this guy is still trying to give you brain damage by having to deal with this mind numbing bs.

These NPD's are all the same I swear!

Hope you are doing great other than this


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 4958 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a punk. "Internet loons" is the best he's got? What, that's supposed to insult me? Oh dude, you're a lightweight. Go play in the toddler park.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9714 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 11:36 PM, June 16th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll take being an Internet Loon over a sociopathic cheater any day of the week, thankyouverymuchloser.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3605 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25515 | Registered: Aug 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 12:27 AM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll take being an Internet Loon over a sociopathic cheater any day of the week, thankyouverymuchloser.

I'm still a rock to your scissors, loser. Loon or not.

I'll have you all know I'm a loon IRL too.

Wannabe deadbeat. Does he not know grown ups deal with his stuff via their Ls not by throwing their toys out of the cot? As if you're going to say: "Oh OK - this upsets you so I won't pursue what I'm entitled to."

Those days are over. Go deal.

ETA whatever you get is your return on your investment in his career - y'know, the investment you were urged/encouraged to not make on your own. It's a pretty simple concept, really.

[This message edited by SBB at 12:29 AM, June 17th (Tuesday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5578 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:44 AM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

so I won't pursue what I'm entitled to

I 'splained this to him a while back when he wouldn't stop with calling me a "hypocrite."

During the marriage, I incessantly told him that as long as we had enough money to pay the bills, we were fine. I even referenced that Justin Bieber song (As long as you love me). I was tired of him traveling all the time and wanted him to put the *family* first and stop with his "I'm the king of the world" egotistical bullshit.

Anyway. His deluded mind twisted my message all up and for a long time I was a *hypocrite* because I "always said I wasn't about the money", but *now* (in D-land) I am.
I had to explain to him that my reference to that dumb Bieber song did NOT mean that I was going to give up any of my rights in a divorce situation.

He's just so fucking stupid.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:40 AM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fuck that guy !!!!!!! Stop listening to him. Its simply just another textbook WS response to consequences for their actions. And God forbid a WS accepts that their behaviors brought them to this place. He got himself a high paid attorney to screw you over in the first place. Now he is pissed that its costing him so much. Well boo fucking hoo. Shit, after that little rant I'd go after everything, including the kitchen sink.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5675 | Registered: Nov 2007
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:51 AM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did he just try to invoke Justin Bieber as a legal precedent? I assume Biebs wasn't playing during your wedding vows during the whole 'not fucking other people' part? Perhaps that's why he disregarded it?

You are a hypocrite because you want your portion of assets/income/earning capacity built over he course of your 20 year M? In his mind this is the same as him cheating on you multiple times with multiple women over multiple years?

Wow. Loon meet kettle.

When you were in a relationship with him all you needed was his love and fidelity. He didn't give you either yet expects you to uphold your 'Bieber vow'? Hilarious!!

You are not in a relationship - you no longer want, need or expect his love and fidelity.

Just the money I'm entitled to thanks very much.

Marriage is about love - divorce is about money. Idjat.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5578 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 5:51 AM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((Gonna)))))))

I think you need to upgrade your bitchboots to waders - the shit he spews has got to be getting really deep.

I've got the 2nd round.

I have this mental picture in my head of him being that guy (Mr. Sparkles) on the dance floor at the g2g. All shiny, up on the dance floor putting on a show. believing he's the best thing since sliced bread. - That's the image I have in my head of Sultan.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5161 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Beyond
♀ Member
Member # 3011
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're not the only shake-down artist, gonna. My BFF's NPDXWH just received a bill for the balance of one of the children's medical tests at a major institution. It was $10. He sent it back to the institution with a note saying that BFF is responsible for all balances; therefore, he was not going to pay it. Then he wrote BFF a nasty-gram telling her to make sure all future bills do not go to him and to stop nickel-and-diming him for everything because she already gets "90 percent of his income" (patently FALSE, btw). All for $10.

Like your STBX, this guy would rather spend thousands of dollars on an attorney, as long as he scorches the Earth behind him.

Because "winning" in his eyes is the most important thing, don'tcha know??

I feel for you, because he will never look in the mirror, as you put it...It's easier to make it all your fault, thereby making HIM the victim.

I will say this: guys like him don't do well at trial. BFF's NPDXWH performed especially poorly, which gave BFF some key "wins." Judges are onto this kind of douche (most of 'em, anyway).

Hang tough. I know how hard it is...

{{{{gonna}}}}


XOW.

Posts: 353 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Virginia
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fuck. That. Guy.

What the hell? I know ex-shat thinks I'm a money grubbing whore...you know, because I want him to uphold his financial obligations that he signed up for in the settlement.

Shit, so many of these assholes are cut from the same mould.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
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