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User Topic: Today's the day
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Helpless  Posted: 12:46 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am at my IC appointment and I am sure he was suspecting to see both WW and I. After this appointment going to meet with lawyer and file... Moving on sucks even if it is for the best... Supposedly.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stay strong LS. It is hard to imagine things beyond your current feelings. Best of luck to you.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52134 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending strength and prayers...


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2236 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there, LS... sending you strength.

Posts: 7039 | Registered: Dec 2010
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The first few steps are always the hardest, LS. Knowing you are moving forward, for YOURSELF, is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. It's just some times hard to see at the moment.

We've got your back, lean on us.

Sending strength.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1284 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your SI family is with you in thoughts and prayers.

(((hugs)))


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2013
veronique12
♀ Member
Member # 42185
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((LS))


BW: me (38)
WH: 43
OW: false "friend"
D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for nearly 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

Posts: 493 | Registered: Jan 2014
FrmrBH80124
♂ Member
Member # 42967
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there LS! Better days are ahead! You deserve better. Go out there and get it.


ME - BH 45
Her - XWS 30
D - April 2010 - never looked back and good riddance.
Happily remarried!

Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days
moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are


Posts: 163 | Registered: Apr 2014
FrmrBH80124
♂ Member
Member # 42967
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there LS! Better days are ahead! You deserve better. Go out there and get it.

You've given her many chances to change and she hasn't. It's time for you to do what you need to do to move on. We're here for you!


ME - BH 45
Her - XWS 30
D - April 2010 - never looked back and good riddance.
Happily remarried!

Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days
moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are


Posts: 163 | Registered: Apr 2014
kiki1
♀ Member
Member # 37184
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((LS))))

Posts: 568 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi LS,

The one thing I have been realizing lately, even though I am doing what is good for me, it is still really, really hard and it hurts.

I am so sorry that you have to go through this.

You can do it though and you will, with the passing of time, hurt less.

Wishing you peace and confidence.

Can


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced 8/5/14


Posts: 1336 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just got back from MC/IC. He saw she wasn't there and then he gave me his perspective on her.
*Defensive of her affairs
*Very Cold
*Doesn't Understand my pain or cares about my pain
*Very Very Broken

I was sitting there and she texted me and I said I am at IC. She said, why didn't you remind me...

IC said, why didn't she remind herself, in fact why isn't she the one making the appointments and search for counseling.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Helpless  Posted: 3:05 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

why didn't she remind herself, in fact why isn't she the one making the appointments and search for counseling

^^^This....

So sorry.


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2013
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 3:08 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry.

It is another conflict, it helps to have your gut, your perceptions validated, it hurts to have your perceptions and gut validated.

My IC/MC said similar to me about wh the day before dday #2.

You really will get through this. You deserve so much more than this.

(((LS)))


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced 8/5/14


Posts: 1336 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
FrmrBH80124
♂ Member
Member # 42967
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IC said, why didn't she remind herself, in fact why isn't she the one making the appointments and search for counseling.


^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^

All you need to know. I'm so sorry LS but better days are ahead!


ME - BH 45
Her - XWS 30
D - April 2010 - never looked back and good riddance.
Happily remarried!

Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days
moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are


Posts: 163 | Registered: Apr 2014
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((LS)))

Validation from the IC/MC. That right there has to tell you that you are making the right choice.

It's ok to hurt and grieve. You need to, but you also need to look at this as a positive step forward for you, for your daughter, a for the rest of your life.

You are no longer going to be abused, emotionally beaten down, or given false hope from her.
You can go into the future strong, and healed, and you will never feel the need to tolerate less than you deserve ever again.

It's time for LS to heal, and find happy. It can be done.

(((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8480 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yea, it is sad to say. He thinks she could change, but for now wants me to work on grieving and making sure the Affairs don't identify me.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know it's not funny, but geeeeeeeez. Just how many things is she going to turn into YOUR fault.

One step at a time LS. Just keep moving forward..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2236 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
needfriendshere
♀ Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((LostSamurai)))
When I read your post, it made me cry - hard. It's been one of those days. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there, my friend. There will be better days ahead for you - I know that with all my being!!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 399 | Registered: May 2014
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, June 17th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can do it. We're all here for you. (((LS)))


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17298 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 27
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