Overall WH and I have been doing pretty well.
A scheduling conversation last weekend triggered me badly. WH knew immediately somethiing was wrong, but didn't know what so he asked.
When I told him, I didn't get much of a reaction. I was disappointed and told him so. He responded with "What is it you want me to do?" So I laid it all out for him. Again. For the first time in a really long time I thought D was a good idea. We had a really shitty weekend and the more we talked about this the more discouraged I got. He. just. didn't. get. it.
Yesterday we sat down to eat and he told me "something is going on at work." He proceeds to tell me that one of his clients' wives filed for D last week and the reason is the client is having a A with one of WH's co-workers.
We talked a little about the potential professional fallout for both parties for a minute and I told him my heart was breaking for the BW. It's bad enough to have to deal with the betrayal, but this has the potential to become a very public scandal.
WH looked at me and said " As soon as I heard this I knew I needed to tell you. I wasn't sure how or when and I wasn't sure how you would react but I knew you needed to hear it from me."
He made some very interesting comments about the A and mentioned what a hypocrite he felt like feeling this way.
He finally seems to understand that sharing all of this is rebuilding trust. It's not always comfortable, but we are clearly both in a way better place when we can talk about all of this. I'm feeling hopeful again.
Me: BW 52
Him: WH 55
Married 8 years
4 20-something his and hers kids
Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9