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Newest Member: Cche (45068)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Talking my way through something...
neverdidithink
♀ Member
Member # 40568
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Overall WH and I have been doing pretty well.

A scheduling conversation last weekend triggered me badly. WH knew immediately somethiing was wrong, but didn't know what so he asked.

When I told him, I didn't get much of a reaction. I was disappointed and told him so. He responded with "What is it you want me to do?" So I laid it all out for him. Again. For the first time in a really long time I thought D was a good idea. We had a really shitty weekend and the more we talked about this the more discouraged I got. He. just. didn't. get. it.

Yesterday we sat down to eat and he told me "something is going on at work." He proceeds to tell me that one of his clients' wives filed for D last week and the reason is the client is having a A with one of WH's co-workers.

We talked a little about the potential professional fallout for both parties for a minute and I told him my heart was breaking for the BW. It's bad enough to have to deal with the betrayal, but this has the potential to become a very public scandal.

WH looked at me and said " As soon as I heard this I knew I needed to tell you. I wasn't sure how or when and I wasn't sure how you would react but I knew you needed to hear it from me."
He made some very interesting comments about the A and mentioned what a hypocrite he felt like feeling this way.

He finally seems to understand that sharing all of this is rebuilding trust. It's not always comfortable, but we are clearly both in a way better place when we can talk about all of this. I'm feeling hopeful again.


Me: BW 52
Him: WH 55
Married 8 years
4 20-something his and hers kids

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9


Posts: 337 | Registered: Sep 2013
forgivingnow
♀ Member
Member # 33549
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"He finally seems to understand that sharing all of this is rebuilding trust."
He's being vulnerable with you, sharing.....that is huge for R.


Me-BS 51
FWH-51
M 31 yrs.
Dday 3-19-11, TT 10/2011, Full truth July 2013
Strength comes from within. You can't get it from someone or go somewhere to get it. It is already here, waiting to be used when you need it most. Believe in yourself.
R

Posts: 614 | Registered: Oct 2011
neverdidithink
♀ Member
Member # 40568
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's being vulnerable with you, sharing.....that is huge for R.

That he is.

He had told me repeatedly that he had chosen not to share some things "to protect me." I'm hopeful that he has actually learned that the only way to protect me is with the truth.


Me: BW 52
Him: WH 55
Married 8 years
4 20-something his and hers kids

Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9


Posts: 337 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 3

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