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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Boundaries In Marriage by Henry Cloud
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...is a must-read book for all couples.

That is the purpose of this post.

If you are more than 6 months past DD...please get a copy and read it.

I have reflected on that one book time and again as I choose my way through this process....will reflect on it for a lifetime. It is that good.

It is a great instruction manual to get you to understand you have choices, there is power in those choices, and your spouse can or cannot be a part of that process....your growth is not dependent on them or where they are at on the "boundaries" scale.

Setting and living with boundaries is quite.....freeing.

Weird, huh? I thought so to until I read this book.

Life-changer.

Peace.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 10:15 AM, June 18th (Wednesday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3699 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a really good re-read as one journeys through recovery because your perspective changes and you go through different stages. i get it out every 6 months...

good suggestion!


his Dday: 2/10
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4961 | Registered: Dec 2010
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bought the hard copy....anticipate re-reading it over my lifetime too, rachelc!

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3699 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
hopefull77
♀ Member
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok....another book for me to buy! Thank you for the suggestion!!
I have read BEYOND BOUNDARIES....that was very good...


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 09-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 524 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beyound Boundaries.....is sitting on my dresser. I am looking forward to reading it, more so that you enjoyed it!

A Grace Filled Marriage is what I am into now.....pretty solid book. A must-read? No.....but it was for me as I seek to understand what grace is. I had a lot to learn.

Peace.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3699 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
phoenix2015
♀ Member
Member # 42039
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Currently reading his book with Townsend called Boundaries. I really need something that lists specific boundaries that are good to have in a marriage.
Everything I have been reading is very general. As a person who has done whatever I could to make others happy, specifically my spouse, I am in need of more specific guidelines as I obviously don't know how and when to set boundaries. I am doing better when he messes up because I feel justified, but when things are going well it is difficult for me to follow through.
Will this book do that for me?


Me: BS, 43 yrs
Him: WH, 45 yrs
Married 23 yrs
4 daughters, 7-18 yrs
D-day:9/10/13
4 week EA
Porn addiction 15 yrs

Your character is what you do when you think no one is watching.


Posts: 77 | Registered: Jan 2014
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes ma'am. Boundaries in Marriage is specific to how to move around within a M and set boundaries that keep you drinking from the well you vowed to....your spouse.

You will find this book very helpful....not a repackaged "Boundaries" book.

Peace


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3699 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
phoenix2015
♀ Member
Member # 42039
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, June 18th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks,
Guess I will be putting in another Amazon order.....they love me
I have been thinking about this book, but was worried it would not be what I was looking for, so thanks for the recommendation.


Me: BS, 43 yrs
Him: WH, 45 yrs
Married 23 yrs
4 daughters, 7-18 yrs
D-day:9/10/13
4 week EA
Porn addiction 15 yrs

Your character is what you do when you think no one is watching.


Posts: 77 | Registered: Jan 2014
HurtinginSoCal
♀ New Member
Member # 41492
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not Just Friends is what my fWH is reading. It was a recommended read.


Me- BW 43
Him- WH 43
Married 18 years, 3 kids
DDay - 11/13/13, eve of our oldest daughter's 16th bday

Posts: 47 | Registered: Nov 2013
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 5:56 AM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your welcome phoenix2015.

Amazon will let you read a bit of it first, if you would like?

Half.com is a great used book resource....usually find new and used books at a great discount. It's affiliated with EBay and is safe.

My devotional had this to say today:

"Good boundaries help us finish the course. They clarify our convictions. They provide us with clear moral direction by assigning a healthy, predetermined path as situations arise. They draw the florescent lines that we will not cross because of our love for Christ and our desire to see His plan realized in all areas of our lives.

HurtinginSoCal......Not Just Friends is THE must read book for all affected by adultery. Thanks!

Peace.



ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3699 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
Topic Posts: 10

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