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Newest Member: LostinBluseas (45054)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Question
HarveyW
♂ Member
Member # 42563
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here I am again. Things still seem fine, however, I have discovered (through my spy tactics) that wife may still be useing friend to keep up with him. I don't think they're communicating directly, but there's something. I could be wrong.
My question is if I should I ask her friend's husband to look into it for me? I do know his wife (my wife's friend) is up to some online bullshit too. He will most likely find that too. I have already alerted him anonymously and it did get him to confront her. Didn't stop her though.
Should I put him in that position?
Thoughts.

Posts: 56 | Registered: Feb 2014
Badhurt
♂ Member
Member # 41947
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i say the more spying eyes the safer you two guys are. If he confronted her and she did not stop it, he will either confront her again or he will tell you he has decided to live with it.

If you think she is up to something, until proven different trust your gut.

increase your spying with all tools available if possible. If she is the cheater, she has absolutely no rights to privacy or secrecy


Posts: 1097 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Eastern USA
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How close are you to the friend's husband? I worry that he might not be open to this.

Also, if you can't trust your wife, all the outside checks i the world won't help that. I know you're just trying to figure out the actual lay of the land and you do deserve to know. But maybe trust your gut and try to talk to your WW about this. Her reaction may tell you what you need to know.

(((Harvey)))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4190 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
houseofpain
♀ Member
Member # 25706
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it would probably be okay to ask as long as you let him know that if he is not comfortable with your request, you understand.

But more importantly, I think that you should trust your gut and just ask her and watch how she responds. I wasted so much time trying to figure out what my WS was doing every time I got a bad feeling, and now I regret it. I think we all know to some extent what our spouses are capable of, even though it's tough to admit. And I think if she is truly remorseful, she will understand why you don't trust her yet.


D-Day: 09/19/09
D-Day2: 10/19/13
Me: 49
WS: 45
Blended family with 5 kids

Pain is just fear leaving the body


Posts: 75 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Texas
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep^^^^ What houseofpain just said. Trust your gut. First I would talk to friend for a second set of eyes and see if he's open.

More importantly talk to your wife and gauge her response. Ultimately she's going to do what she's going to do. She's the one that needs to rebuild that trust with you.


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2153 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
toomanyregrets
♂ Member
Member # 37740
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, June 19th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Put yourself in your friends postion.
You'd have a right to know what was happening in you marriage.
If he's really your friend, tell him.


BH - 64
fWW - 60

"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife


Posts: 469 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Upstate NY
Topic Posts: 6

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