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User Topic: I feel so bad for him
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wh, stbxh has a feeling things afe not going to work out with his ap. it just breaks my heart to hear that actually I could have told him that. she is a real peace of work. i hired a private detective and know so much more about her than he does.
She likes destroying marriages, hers included. This will be number four for her. he is finding out things all by himself. He keeps telling me how unhappy he was in the past few years in our marriage and he is already having issues in just a few months with his future. I could just cry for him

Posts: 330 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Poor baby.

Do me a favor and next time tell him that unless it's about kids (if you have any) and finances you're not listening. You no longer have the job of listening to his poor widdle feewlings.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11225 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, you're a better woman than I, because I'd be laughing my ass off watching the train wreck slowly unfolding right in front of me.

Ain't nothing quite as entertaining as watching someone get what's coming to them.

Sounds as though your husband is setting you up for an, "I want to come home" request. I'd rather have my gums set on fire but I'm funny like that.

[This message edited by NeverAgain2013 at 9:25 AM, June 22nd (Sunday)]


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1807 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The question is, Do you want your WH back? Are you content to be Plan B? What would he need to do to earn his way back home?

If none of these are an issue for you, then his heartbreak is none of your business. He certainly didn't care when your heart was breaking. Yes, AP is a piece of work, but he chose her, not you.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1860 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
LivinginLimbo
♀ Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's time to call the WHAAAmbulance. It's clearly an emergency.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 1046 | Registered: Mar 2012
heme
♀ Member
Member # 40684
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have laughed in the middle of him telling me that. What goes around comes around.


BS: Me (30)
WS: Husband (31)
Married 8 years, together 9
D-Day: Sept 10, 2013
D-Day2: May 31, 2014
Children: 5, ages 7, 5, 3, 1 and due in September

Leaning towards leaving, no one deserves this pain.


Posts: 205 | Registered: Sep 2013
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You reap what you sow.


Posts: 1734 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
MakingMyFuture
♀ Member
Member # 43530
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously, if you need someone to feel sorry for, there are millions of children, animals, and environmental issues that could benefit from your generous heart. With regard to your WH, Don't waste your empathy on someone who isn't even coming close to getting exactly what they deserve.


When people show you who they really are, believe them - Maya Angelou

DDay 1 - 1/13, False Recovery Discovered more + Broken NC so DDay2= 7/14

9/9/14: filed for divorce

BW: 42 (me)
WH: 40 (him)
DD-10, DS-8


Posts: 100 | Registered: May 2014
Jomarion
♀ Member
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I had had the courage you had to separate/divorce him when he cheated. I sometimes fantasize if I hadn't pleaded begged for him to come back, he'd be with her now and in a big heap of you-know what. When you love someone though, it is hard to see them sink, even if it is their own doing, and even if there is also pleasurable revenge-feeling as you see them sink.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 192 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually wanted him to get what he deserves and I think she isit.

I can't believe that he would even tell me, like I really care. He tells me things that you would tell a friend and after 28years I think he may miss that part of our m


Posts: 330 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm trying to tell if your being sarcastic or if you really do feel bad for him. I probably would too but I'm trying to work that out of me. He made his bed......


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5130 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
shatteredheart12
♀ Member
Member # 43567
Default  Posted: 4:18 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can understand why you feel this way, after all, he is the man you love. You didn't cheat, your feelings didn't change.

He is the one that did this, he is the one that brought this all on himself. It is a hard road, that's for sure.

It is hard seeing the one you love making horrible choices, living a life so different from what you believed he wanted. He has become a different person.

Accept that you feel bad for him and let it go. He doesn't deserve your sympathy, at least he doesn't need to know that you have sympathy for him

He has to work this crap out on his own, you cant help him, he cheated and he shouldn't be laying all his problems on you, you cant be his friend right now

My wh did the same thing, moved in with OW the day after I kicked him out, so many similarities to your story. But by him sharing stuff with you, it makes you wonder who the hell he is, why he would put up with the crap from her.

NC has finally worked for me, only took me 2 1/2 years, but it is so freeing and peaceful for me now, I still find out some stuff about them but I don't call or text him anymore, I don't want to hear how unhappy he is, Im not his friend or his mother, I am his wife who he cheated on. I am the one that was tossed aside for some homewrecker.

Feel bad for him, vent here, but as for being his shoulder to cry on, that is only hurting your recovery. It is ok to love him but you cant let him continue to hurt you. He chose to cheat, he doesn't get to have you as a friend to tell his problems to.

Stay strong


Posts: 53 | Registered: May 2014
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's time to call the WHAAAmbulance

...and the WHOREbulance. He's her problem now...she can be his rescuer...good luck with that, OW!


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,22 mo.& 2 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5078 | Registered: May 2007
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am partially sarcastic(big part).I do also feel sorry for him but not much.
I am working on me and I know to see him his toxic tome. We don't normally speak but he came up for my father's funeral. My whole family was shocked and many thought he was arrogant, others thought he had balls, some thought after 28 years it was the right thing for him to do.
me I just think he is crazy and added so much extra stress to me.

He told me that his whore tried to stop him from coming but that he felt that it was the right thing to do. At least he didn't bring her. We were really afraid hemight have stashed her in his hotel room. He didn't, good for him him otherwise he may have gotten an old fashioned beating.

He has asked our son to meet her already. I know he just looks like my husbandbut it's like seeing an empty soul.


Posts: 330 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
Topic Posts: 14

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