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User Topic: Consequences and thoughts
Coma
♂ Member
Member # 29353
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do people ever consider the consequences of their lies? What impact your dishonesty would have on others as well as yourself?

FWW asked if i trusted her and i said "No". This seemed to disturb her but what other answer did sh expect. Given every chance to come clean she simply lies to cover the lies already told. Her favorite answer is "I don't know". Which in itself is still a lie.

She takes to the internet to complain of my treatment towards her. She writes out dramatic lies from her perceptions or from the perceptins someone else has planted in her mind. Om the web she is a person that i do not even know. She is dishonest and leading towards pathetic. The very fact that others can convince her of troubles she has that do not actually exist suggest she is not as solid as i thought.

Her employment gives her access to thousands of identities to use to disquise her actions. Further she has her mail delivered to her office. This is to keep me in the dark about her actions. She has a blog but i have not been able to gain access to it as yet.

Imentioned before how has a programmer friend or lover enter our home computer and set up secret ports for lines of communication. I consulted a attorney to see if i had a legal course to prevent this. He said i do but i would have to do a computer forensic thing to obtain that proof and then we could proceed. I am still debating the cost against the marriage.

I'm tired in mind ,heart, and soul. I don't know how much more i can take. The time iv'e put in cleaning my comp and trying to recapture my life.
Trying to make something matter out of all this mess of lies and deception. In a moment of depression so severe i contemplated a peaceful solution. I had a rare moment of clarity.

I actually thought about myself for a change....and it felt good. I search more now for those moments when i can counsel myself because this life is not just hers. With the help of a friend i have started to reclaim myself for me and not her suggested perceptions from anothers mind.

So today i have decided to create something that is important to me alone. Something that i can share devoid of her interest and influence. Today i discover myself as i am. The rest will just have to take a backseat.


BS-Me
WW-Her
"Love, look what you've done to me"

Posts: 460 | Registered: Aug 2010
redrock
♀ Member
Member # 21538
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually thought about myself for a change....and it felt good.

Good for you. Focus on yourself and your healing and future.

Do you mind if I ask why you continue to stay married to this disordered person?

I don't ask to be critical, many people choose limbo for a certain amount of time. Is there an end game? Are you getting your ducks in a row? Do you have an exit plan?



I don't respect anyone that can't spell a word more than one way:)

Posts: 3161 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Michigan
Coma
♂ Member
Member # 29353
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no idea why i am still married to this selfish person Rock. I mean i have other candidates that are available. One even joked that she has the paperwork waiting. I took that in a kind of double edged sword reference.

On one hand it is nice to know i have options. On the other hand i tookit as insulting that i would betray my vows. I know it sounds a little foolish but i cannot betray my vows. It lies mainly in an incident that happened between us before marriage.
Anyway i neglected to mention something i should have and when i did, it hurt her deeply.

No easy way to hurt someone you love but i did it. Regardless of the reason. I told myself never again. Not to hurting but to the lying. In my opinion deception has no place in a marriage. If there is something that may be difficult to say then i write it down and give it to her and wait for her response. Often i will tell her it is something i would rather not dicuss at this time but i still always write it down.


BS-Me
WW-Her
"Love, look what you've done to me"

Posts: 460 | Registered: Aug 2010
Coma
♂ Member
Member # 29353
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So i went out and purchased some art supplies. I used to want to a painter so why not try my hand at it again. Not much of an artist but i get by.


BS-Me
WW-Her
"Love, look what you've done to me"

Posts: 460 | Registered: Aug 2010
Coma
♂ Member
Member # 29353
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't ask to be critical, many people choose limbo for a certain amount of time. Is there an end game? Are you getting your ducks in a row? Do you have an exit plan?

I guess you could say that if i plan an exit, I will use that exit.

It kind of works against trying to reconcile a marriage. FWW wants to see herself as the victim here and use it as the excuse for her actions. All i see is a person that can be easily manipulated by others to have issues that do not exist. It is kind of her operating system. It was never this bad until the A's.


BS-Me
WW-Her
"Love, look what you've done to me"

Posts: 460 | Registered: Aug 2010
redrock
♀ Member
Member # 21538
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess you could say that if i plan an exit, I will use that exit.

It kind of works against trying to reconcile a marriage

So does a partner that is incapable of investing into the marriage and doing the work. On the relationship or herself.

R is a hell of a lot of work even when you have 2 committed parties to it.

I am glad that you are focusing on yourself and giving time to things that you enjoy. That's a good thing.

However, living with someone you know is incapable of being a partner seems like a special kind of limbo hell.

Why are you willing to accept that?

I do know that you can't force her to acknowledge the situation and or do anything. So the question is what are you willing to do for yourself?


I don't respect anyone that can't spell a word more than one way:)

Posts: 3161 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Michigan
Topic Posts: 6

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