I am sorry for your dilemma and i don't envy you the choices you must make. All i can say to you is do not hold the child responsible for her mothers actions.
That being said....I also have a daughter that is not of my blood but has had my heart since birth. I love her dearly and the only thing that scares me is that her bio father has more rights to her than i do as the man that is raising her.
Our court system needs to start addressing this issue for us guys.
In a pinch, could you say that as a family she decided to surrogate for someone? (after you make the choice of either adoption or giving up rights?
I can't even begin to imagine this struggle.
I know how devastated you must feel.. it will be a complicated situation and im sorry if I am sonuding blunt and inconsiderate but I would leave the situation.. it might be better in the long run.. she got pregnant with another mans child... she needs to lay in her bed.. she made it
OW was his ex he always convinced was his friend .. moved in her and knocked her up , got together behind my back
Ddays : many in 2009 and 2010
final dday : Sept 2012 after being broken up 3 w
I would leave the situation.. it might be better in the long run.. she got pregnant with another mans child... she needs to lay in her bed.. she made it
If you get back together with her, you will be laying in it, too. NC will not be possible. She is permanently tied to the child's father, like it, or not.
I also encourage you not to use lies here. Make sure your kids know, and know why, you have not reconciled with their mother. They may be at too tender an age now for this, children should not be made to handle adult situations. However, time passes, and they will have the maturity to understand.
Initially, she wanted to separated to see how things would work, but changed her mind earlier this year stating that she really wanted to work on the marriage
I'm sorry to have to say it, but I think she recognizes that she has an irresponsible baby-daddy and wants you back because of what you can provide for her. You are "plan B", like I was.
I am a 20 year military veteran and have been trying to find more happiness since I have been retired.
Not exactly the time of your life that you want to start a family with a newborn.
How old will you be when the child becomes an adult? (rhetorical question)
I am trying to use my firm foundation that I have laid down with God over the past year to determine.
Another thing you have to consider. What kind of a "yoke" will re-marrying her bring to you? Is she a believer?
It is rather obvious that she is not following the Lord at this time in her life, I don't know whether or not she knows Him or whether she may come to know Him at some point in the future, but
the current observation is that she does not have a "firm foundation" in the things of God like you are developing.
[This message edited by tfkeel at 5:58 PM, June 23rd (Monday)]
Go talk to a L. Find out all you can about what you will be responsible for given the many different paths that you may walk from here (D immediately, stay M, D later when the child is older, bio dad not in the picture, bio dad coming back into the picture,... etc)
I am so sorry you find yourself here in this situation.