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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: OW and XH came over- I called 911. Yay me
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So xwh and ow came to my house raising a ruckus because my 14 year old rode his bike to our friends pond in the dark. No, he rode it in the daylight, but XWH was told about it after dark. My son went outside in the driveway to talk to his dad . DS comes in says dad wants to talk to you. Ok I say. I get to his truck and he and OW bless me out. Well, they tried to, I looked at them and called 911. Our divorce papers say no drama in front of the kids!! hahahaha!!! It was so calming to have the upper hand. They have been emailing me and I'm giving them crickets--- thanks to the SI friends who told me what crickets are!!! And I'm saving all the emails with their drama.

Also, they are insistent that my kids r going away with them for the 4th of July. (We have no overnights with girlfriends in divorce decree ). Again, thanks to the SI friends who reminded me recently that because they didn't choose their weeks before may 15, they r SOL.

It feels great to NOT pet the drama lama.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 11:02 PM, June 23rd (Monday)]


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Jan 2012
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you. SI is a wonderful resource for all of us.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2713 | Registered: Jan 2010
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sucks to be them!!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6540 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you. Stay calm and stick to the rules.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bwahahahahaahaa!!!!!

Go Girl.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8717 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Additionally, XWH and OW were angry son 17 had a girlfriend over while I was at work.

Ummmm,,, isn't that what you used to do????
I WISH I had thought to say that to him!!!!!

footnote: talked to son about waiting to have girlfriend over til I get home from work.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Jan 2012
GingerAle
♀ Member
Member # 33822
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way to go, girl!!


My WH (The KISA, NPD) 6 month EA in 2010
2 other EAs in 2012 & 2013
Filed for D 7/2014


Posts: 425 | Registered: Nov 2011
NoMorDeceit
♀ Member
Member # 23547
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there! You are doing so good. They need you to provide the glue that holds them together. You only have a few more years of their nonsense to deal with. Just keep swimming, just keep holding to the agreement and decree. Before you know it, your 14 year old will be a strapping 16 or 17 year old and able to tell his dad where to stick it when he rides up on the drama llama...just remember do not pet the fucker, it has fleas and other nasties.


FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)


Posts: 540 | Registered: Apr 2009
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before you know it, your 14 year old will be a strapping 16 or 17 year old and able to tell his dad where to stick it when he rides up on the drama llama..

Oh my gosh!!!! You are right!!! When XWH was in the driveway he yelled out something about his new house... or going on the vacation,, something,,,, and my son yelled out.. yeah have fun going by yourself!!!!

He IS starting to see thru his Dad!
I am so sorry for his pain, but I try to show with my actions stark differences in lifestyles.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Jan 2012
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

XWH and OW were angry son 17 had a girlfriend over while I was at work
But yet...XWH had no problem having OW over while YOU were at work!


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

exactly!


THey emailed me today asking if I want to handle communication with them like grownups or go to court.

WTH????

LMAO!

They don't like to be told "NO". (The trip to Wisconsin).

I think they REALLY don't like crickets!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Jan 2012
NoMorDeceit
♀ Member
Member # 23547
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do not respond. My goodness they do need drama don't they? Guess it isn't as much fun when your not sneaking around behind someone's back to screw...well alas that not be your problem. Unless you get served with a court date over this trippy-poo to "1234 Dead Lover's Lane, Whoreville, WI"...let them steam in their own juices...silence drives them crazy. I mean without you they would have to have a real relationship.


FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)


Posts: 540 | Registered: Apr 2009
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets from me.

IF they want to go to court,, I'll worry about that then....plus, they just caused a big scene in front of my children-- I don't think judges like that...


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Jan 2012
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wondering, did the 911 call go through? Is there a record somewhere that you called about this incident? If they tape 911 calls in your area, wouldn't it be lovely to have a recording of OW and XH yelling in the background while you're patiently trying to disengage?


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1866 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Homewrecked,

Did the police come?

I didn't know you could call the police when someone is yelling at you. My STBX comes to my house all the time (for visitation) and yells at me in front of our children.

Can you or anyone else elaborate?

No matter what, good for you. You're very brave and sticking up for yourself.

[This message edited by ChoosingHope at 10:47 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

choosing: Heck yeah the police came out. No one can verbally abuse you anytime, any place, especially in front of the kids..


That's why so many families have drop off/ pick up for visitation at the police station.

This will give you insight into what SC values for children...It is a link to the standard visitation schedule/restraining orders in this state - it became effective from our very first court hearing after I filed.

I promised my children after WS moved out and created drama that our property boundaries were our safe haven, and that he would NEVER intimidate us here. This is where we are safe, loved, and can shut out the pressures of the world. This is the 2nd time I've had to call the sheriff. The first time I had not filed yet. They officer said to file for a legal separation to set up these boundaries. I can also file an order of no tresspass -- he can't be on our property w/o going to jail.

If you can get into counseling at a domestic violence center it REALLY helped having their support thru this. It's free, btw!

http://www.atkinssc.com/resourcefiles/STANDARDVISITATION.pdf



me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Jan 2012
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Homewrecked, thank you for taking the time to post all of that, and I'm sorry if I hijacked your thread. STBX has broken all of the first four rules after "Restraining Order."

I'm completely overwhelmed right now. In court a few weeks ago, the judge made it clear that I've been physically and emotionally abused. I never thought of myself like that. My NPD/sociopath/SA STBX lied about me so badly in court - and in filings leading up to court - that we were always on the defensive. We never went on the offensive about DV, and the main reason is because I refused to admit it. At one meeting, my attorney cornered me and told me that I was abused. I was so upset - and later I was angry at her. I simply couldn't admit it because the physical stuff only happened twice. The emotional stuff happened daily in the last couple of years of my marriage.

I'm waiting to hear the judge's ruling. And then I think I'm going to have to get help for the abuse. For myself first, but also because STBX is going to appeal my divorce. This is not over.

Thank you for sharing your story and showing me and hopefully others that abuse takes all forms and that you can fight it. I'm so proud of you for calling the police - it takes a kind of courage that I am not sure if I have. You are VERY brave. And your kids are lucky that you are their mom.

Thank you.


Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Choosing... please try to get into counseling, it was really helpful to have someone to talk to when stuff happened with WS. Especially at a dv counseling place. If you call, tell the receptionist you have been physically abused -- you will get an appt sooner. Many of the counselors have been where we are. I could tell them anything because I knew they had heard even worse. It's awesome having someone believe everything you say. My friend is a flight attendant and she was the person who steered me to counseling. She said it is well worth having other eyes on the whole situation-she has been in our situation!!!!

I also had to do outpatient at Charter -- a treatment center. It was 2 weeks 9-4. They billed my ins and let me pay out the deductible. That really jump started my healing. Several women were in the for the same thing!!!Infidelity and the crazy making. One man lost his grandson, one guy was a cop, one lady was a triathele who had a panic attack,etc etc. All of them very normal, just had a big trauma hit at one time.

Don't apologize for the tj,,, it all has to do with finally feeling strong enough to say "no more", and I couldnt have done it w/o SI, my IC and my friends....


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 18

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