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Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

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User Topic: Ask the menz...
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's time for an "ask the menz" thread! Ever wanted an honest answer to some pesky little question about the menfolk? Now's your chance.

Ok, I'll start...

It seems apparent that almost every male on the planet at least fantasizes about having a ménage a trois. Now, my question is this...is the basic core of the fantasy just a desire to be with another woman, and that somehow calling it a ménage a trois just a way to legitimize that desire?

Next...

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 5:00 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7057 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
tfkeel
♂ Member
Member # 19517
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have never fantasized about menage a trois.

The "basic core" of my sexual fantasy is being alone with a woman who desires me.

My wife would be at the center of my fantasy and reality if she desired me. In fact, I would really have no need for fantasy if she did.

[This message edited by tfkeel at 2:44 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 460 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Pennsylvania
Badhurt
♂ Member
Member # 41947
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure about every man on planet, but I think most, including mine, have been desire for two women at same time, not just another woman.

Now my question is, don't you think that fantasy is equally strong that women fantasize about two men??Most women I have ever talked to about sex have had that fantasy and a lot of them have done it, unfortunately including my wife without me to this point.

I think this is a pretty common fantasy of BOTH sexes.

Just my opinion. No statistics to back it up.

[This message edited by Badhurt at 2:46 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 1097 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Eastern USA
Maxiom
♂ Member
Member # 26001
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly.. i have thought of both a FFM and MMF. I am very straight. So it is the menage a trois itself and not simply being with another woman.

Regardless.. the fantasy is generally better than the reality, so while my wife and I have discussed it, neither is in a hurry to pursue it.


Me: FBS/WS 41
Her FWS/BS 41
My DDay - March 10, 2007 Whole Truth - May 2007
Her DDay - March 2, 2011
True NC March 3, 2011

Posts: 462 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Canada
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband's big fantasy was to watch me had sex with another man.

I had zero interest in this. None.

I told him he may not have been my first, but he is, and will be, my last. I had/have no need for another man in my bed...and I never fantasized about it in my head either.

No thanks.


Edited because I'm posting from my kindle and it likes to do weird things.

[This message edited by confused615 at 2:50 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7499 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok PPGA. I'll bite. I'll admit that I used to have this fantasy. That's all it was though. If it came right down do it, not sure I would go through with it. A female coworker of mine used to suggest it to me during my single days. When I met my then girlfriend, now wife, after a few weeks of dating MrsYop my coworker made a pass at MrsYop...and since she's a member I'm not going to get into exactly how that came about. But lets say I was stunned and I asked her what she wanted to do about it. Remember we were only dating a few weeks and just getting to know each other. MrsYop said she wasn't into women and there would be no way that would happen. Wanna know what I felt? A huge sense of relief!!! I was very much into MrsYop (still am), and probably could not have handled it if she would have said yes.

That said part of the allure of that fantasy for me is that I have a very high drive and have been told that I "can wear a girl out". So to me the allure was more of having multiple people keep up with me vs. another woman (stranger) aspect.

[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 2:54 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2154 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I imagine it would be a huge ego stroke if a guy could satisfy *two* women, but I've really never been into it. My cousin had a threesome with an ex girlfriend and one of her friends one time and he said it was awkward and somewhat intimidating and he had unexpected (as he had never had them before) performance issues.

Posts: 1694 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a fantasy because it's a wish fulfillment thing. I don't have any idea what it'd really be like but it sounds fun, in that "This would be totally all about me" kind of way.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7456 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
SWAT70
♂ Member
Member # 42915
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Quick and PG version. I thought it would be great and all about them taking care of me. Wrong it's exhausting.

Eta..I was 23 and one was my gf at the time. Some alcohol consumption was involved. GF started the whole thing and I actually think she wanted her friend more than me.

[This message edited by SWAT70 at 3:48 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]


Me BH-45. WW-39
DD-11 DS-6 DS-3
D day was Valentines day 2014. Talk about a trigger.


Posts: 335 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Down range
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now my question is, don't you think that fantasy is equally strong that women fantasize about two men??

Not this woman...

Right now, I would just be happy with a man finding me attractive and holding me.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sex with 2 women?

Not for me. Frankly for me that would be too intimidating since I work hard at making my WW happy in *that way* 2 women would just be too much work.

I took come classes in literature a million years ago when I was at University. One thing a prof said that has stuck with me is that when 2 men are having sex with 1 woman. what is really happening is the 2 men are wanting to have sex with each other. But without being gay or bisexual the only way they can do that is by sharing a woman. And I suppose the same thing can be said about encounters of 2 women having sex with 1 man.

In a certain sense OM having sex with my WW while I was also (albeit unaware) strikes me as rape. Basically OM was raping me through the vehicle of my WW.

As for fantasies. I guess I am pretty mild. All I have ever wanted or hoped for was a truly intimate encounter. intimate in both physical and emotional areas. with ONE woman. I want to feel loved and wanted and above all safe. because without feeling safe can there be any real intimacy?


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have some wonderful answers Razor...... your wife is a lucky woman.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3822 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Tickingtock
♀ Member
Member # 41411
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wanna play!!

Okay it's only 2:00 in the afternoon here so it's kinda early for this kind of question (I usually have a glass of wine before asking internet strangers about lady bits.

What do men think about when they look at a hoo-ha? I'm not really asking about porn or strippers or whatever, but your wife right in front of you.

Is it just about what you know it will feel like?
Or is it visually appealing like boobs?


Me: 31, exBGF, now married

Posts: 175 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: West Coast, USA
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been so long since I've seen a "hoo-ha"... I like the way they look! They are very intricate and delicate.

Posts: 1694 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Upon seeing the promised land.. what am I thinking?

Sudden blood loss kinda hampers coherent thought. But would *oh boy!* count as a thought?


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What do men think about when they look at a hoo-ha?
OMG, she actually let me see her hoo-ha!

Seriously, maybe not that dramatic but I can speak for myself and my close friends. None of us care what it looke like down there. The fact that we are allowed to see it unencumbered by clothing is all we care about at that particular moment. We don't care if it's shaved, not shaved, and yes for the most part we know they all are different and unique in teh looks department.

ETA: I forgot to answer the visually appealing part. I honestly don't have an anwer for that one. By the time I get to see the "hoo-ha" there is generally so much other stuff about the women that I found appealing that I never really thought about it.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 3:56 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1905 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wife's hoo-ha? That it's one of the most beautiful delicious things in the world and I want it every way possible.


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2154 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with Razor's professor.

At least...in my situation...I'm sure my husband's fantasy had more to do with the man than with me. I told him after dday that I had realized, when it came to that particular fantasy, he was going to use me....as bait.

Come fuck my hot wife...and..Hey...maybe I'll join in too...wink..wink.


Well fuck. I'm pissed again. And it's raining, so I can't go outside and set something on fire. Sigh. I'll settle for a bath.


[This message edited by confused615 at 3:56 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7499 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
LivinginLimbo
♀ Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I seems apparent that almost every male on the planet at least fantasizes about having a ménage a trois. Now, my question is this...is the basic core of the fantasy just a desire to be with another woman, and that somehow calling it a ménage a trois just a way to legitimize that desire

This was one of my FWH's fantasies that the MOW tried to make come true....except unknowingly she picked a transvestite. They realized before they got together and had one pissed off Tranny on their hands. How I wish he figured out their real identities as I know he was trying to out them in order to get even for the rejection.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Mar 2012
katiescarlett
♀ Member
Member # 43399
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before I started nursing I had A cup breasts that WH always said were perfect. Now that I'm a C cup he just oggles them all the time. Was he lying when he said I was perfect before?

[This message edited by katiescarlett at 4:01 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]


MH-27
MH-28
3 boys
My D-Day July 2014 and numerous others.
His D-Day 8-20-14

Posts: 105 | Registered: May 2014
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