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User Topic: Ask the menz...
Jduff
♂ Member
Member # 41988
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do men ever just become completely uninterested in all things sexual??? Really uninterested???

Yeah, when my favorite teams lost their championship games or get knocked out of the playoffs. Total "wind out of the sails" moments. Actually, I'm confused on this question - meaning at any one time or for extended periods of time?

How many men have had bi-curious thoughts?

Er, does "Man-Crush" count?

Sometimes I want a few minutes of physical touch without having to commit to the whole shebang. Just 10 minutes of face to face, nose to nose, chest to chest, arms entangled moments so I can feel more centered, then lemme go.
Is it frustrating to be asked to snuggle or cuddle without it leading to sex?

Depends on our "love language" I'm guessing. Mine is definitely physical touch, so this fits right in for me. My GF is open enough to communicate that she just wants to snuggle, or get a back rub from me, and I'm happy to oblige because she returns the favor when I ask, and don't ask.

How do you feel about a woman being the aggressor in sex?

I. Absolutely. LOVE IT! I never could get the XW to do this. My GF just pounces me, and it makes "WOO-HOO-HOO-HOO" like Tigger.

What do you think is your best physical feature and why?

I've been told my arms and hands are very attractive as my GF tells me. Who knew masturbating and playing video games in my youth would have paid off with toned forearms, palms, fingers. Oh yeah, I guess being athletics helped too. She also pointed out my beard and butt, but not a bearded butt...cuz that's gross.

Why do men seem to break women up into "parts"?

Speaking for myself, I'm just more visual and focus on things that I deem attractive at first. I'm an "ass" man myself so that's the first thing that grabs my attention. However, I like it all. It's eye-candy. My GF has great curvy hips that accentuate her rear. AWE-SOME! But more than this is her gorgeous face and simply over all beauty. I'm a lucky man...yes...yes, I am!


Divorced - 5/23/14
Already in my New Beginning - :)

Posts: 553 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: texas
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Question stolen from the womenz thread... What do men think about women with tattoos?

[This message edited by simplydevastated at 8:20 PM, June 26th (Thursday)]


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tattoos only small tasteful ones. But as discussed in the womenz what will it look like at 80yo?


Moving from Jekyll the destroyer to Jekyll the rebuilder.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

no stop sign = BS always welcome
I do not PM with women


Posts: 699 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
brokeninfl
♀ Member
Member # 21896
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another ? Stolen from the other thread...

What is with guys and anal sex? What is the fascination? I don't get it.


"On the other side of fear lies freedom"

Me - 36 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.


Posts: 1074 | Registered: Dec 2008
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

menz to menz follow up on the breaking up into parts.

when you say i am an ass man, do you like all asses or is there a particular shape you like?

a boob man, do you like all sizes or a particular size.

A leg man, does that mean tall or into midgets too?

I am too curious


Moving from Jekyll the destroyer to Jekyll the rebuilder.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

no stop sign = BS always welcome
I do not PM with women


Posts: 699 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you see us naked for the first time what are you thinking? Comparing to other women? What?
Usually some variation of wow. It really could be anything. What I can tell you has NEVER crossed my mind is another woman. All I am thinking about is the naked one in front of me right then and there.

The bi-curious question
Not at all.

What do men think about women with tattoos?
This is a personal preference thing. Tattoos don't bother me. It's another of those if you wear it well and are comfortable in your skin then I am fine with it.

The make up or no make up question
I prefer no make up. I have NEVER understood why women put on so much make up. I mean I get why but I personally prefer natural.

Why do men seem to break women up into "parts"?
We actually do see you as a whole. We do however have features that we notice first but we do notice everything else fairly quickly.



D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1912 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another ? Stolen from the other thread...

What is with guys and anal sex? What is the fascination? I don't get it.

I'm surprised it took them 10 pages to ask

ETA: But here's a question, would any menz ever try anal? If you knew it would be pleasurable for you?

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 9:02 PM, June 26th (Thursday)]


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2316 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is with guys and anal sex? What is the fascination? I don't get it.
Not all guys are obsessed with anal sex. My guess is porn overload maybe. To each his/her own. After getting a prostate exam I am firmly on team "buttholes are exit only".


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1912 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is with guys and anal sex? What is the fascination? I don't get it.

I think what happens is
1. porn then follows with
2. going to websites and reading about how pleasurable it is for women.
3. want to give pleasure, must try it
4. disappointment and why didn't she like it?

we tried lots of things, the majority of which were not pleasurable for my BS. So for us, the new rule is: If I think of something I would like to try, I have to be willing to be the tester. If I do not want it done to me, or I find it unpleasurable than I do not subject my BS to it. So far this has been a good litmus test.


Moving from Jekyll the destroyer to Jekyll the rebuilder.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

no stop sign = BS always welcome
I do not PM with women


Posts: 699 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. I go on vacation for a few days, get a chance to take a peek, holy thread explosions batman!!! From the last few pages:

@Aubrie - I would say in my teens through twenties I was a raging bull. To have physical touch and not have sex would have been excruciating. However, my sex drive has dwindled a touch...and I do mean only a touch at age 40, I now love any sort of physical touch even if it doesn't lead to sex. In my 30's I really learned to love just cuddling of all sorts. Since our 3rd child my wife has had many female medical issues and this past year or so have had to really redefine what constitutes sex. Sometime foreplay or cuddling has to be the main event. And you know what? Who says it can't be?

@StillStanding1 - Loud? Eh, maybe when I was 20 looking for some sort of validation, but not really. Tough when I have 3 kids for us to be loud nor would I want it to he for that reason. That said, W has been known to be a little loud if I send her to another universe, but she doesn't do so consciously to prove something if that's what you are getting at. Talking dirty can be fun if not done all the time and done with real passion. When done all the time can get boring. Done in the right way can really get a guys blood pumping. Even at whisper level which can be down right sexy. I would say affirmation both during and after is what I need more than volume or dirty talk. I like to know both verbally and with unspoken body language how my woman is doing and what I'm doing is good. I have a deep need to please and to me feedback will always help with the performance and in the end will make me feel good about myself.

@SoSorry17 - had to think about the physical feature a bit. I honestly don't think I have one. I have to resort to what other women have told me. I have very broad shoulders so women like the fact that they feel they can get list in my arms by my hugs. I have very muscular legs that I have gotten many compliments on. Honestly, I don think I do as I gave to resort to others in what I have been told.

@butterflygirl - thoughts on seeing a woman that I'm going to be with naked for the first time? Wow!!! Would you look at that!!! I can't believe... I mean really I get to... If I could go blind right now... Holy geeze!!! Um.... Anyone have a textbook handy that I could put below my waist?

@simplydevastated - tats? I've been with women who have them and those that don't have any. My W doesn't have a single one and that is super sexy. My last ltgf before my W had a bunch and they were super sexy. My biggest celebrity crush at the moment is Danielle Diesel from American Pickers and I love her tats. I could get lost in them for hours at a time. My W does not have any and I do get lost in her body for hours at a time.

@brokeninfl - As a teen anal sex was the forbidden fruit. Then I had it a few times and it was no longer a mystery. It became no big deal and quite honestly I have never asked for it ever. To me that's something that the woman has to want and ask for. I don't have an aversion and happy to oblige but only if asked. However, I do have to say this...if you were willing to give that part of you to someone else and not me and were in a long term relationship, that would hurt on an emotional level because you were willing to give that part of yourself to someone else and not me. I would never ask for it, and didn't with one if my ltgf's. She had told me that she had done that with others. For over a year I never asked for it and then one day she said she wanted anal sex from me. Made me feel good in that the others were no longer "special" in that regard. I also had her so worked up that I did become "special" to her in that sense as I was the first to give her an anal O.

[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 9:48 PM, June 26th (Thursday)]


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2189 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Kuwaited
♂ Member
Member # 5491
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just going to pick some at random:


Now that I'm a C cup he just oggles them all the time. Was he lying when he said I was perfect before?

It’s my considered opinion that they are pretty much all good. So…no, he wasn’t lying!

Do you think silver-gray hair on a woman is unattractive?

Nope
....if you are self-conscious about an aspect of your appearance, will you believe your SO if she tells you she loves that about you? My SO is a bit hairy and he is so self-conscious he has actually thought of waxing, but I find it irresistibly sexy and he seems to have a hard time believing it. (I would actually be mad if he waxed it, because I love playing with his hair!)

This is a tough one. I’m one of those people that totally does not need ego stroking…and actually would rather a person refrain from it. There are certainly aspects of my physical appearance that I believe no woman could find attractive, sexy or irresistible --- and if I hear that they do find it so, I’m skeptical.

What is the male obsession with guns about?

No obsession here. I’m not the least bit opposed to them…I’m just not drawn to them.

When we have sex from behind are you secretly pretending or wishing that we were someone else???

I have NEVER pretended I was with anyone other than the woman I was with. And honestly…I do not buy into the notion that it’s “OK” to fantasize you’re with someone else.

Does the mess of intercourse--especially at a particular time of the month--turn you off at all?

This has never been an issue with me.

When you see us naked for the first time what are you thinking? Comparing to other women? What?


My experience with seeing a women naked in person is pretty minimal, actually, but I don’t recall making any comparisons.

Why do men seem to break women up into "parts"?

My experience is that this not gender specific. I have known my share women who like either: the ass, the eyes, the chest, the abs, the shoulders……..

It’s just a personal thing, I think.

However, I am first and foremost a "leg man". Then - I started noticing the ass. And then the boobs. And then the hair. And then...well....

I guess in the end it's the whole package with me.

What do you think is your best physical feature and why?

I agree that probably most men don’t think about this much – at least as much as it seems women do. And likely as not…if they have an answer it’s because they remember being complimented on one of their physical aspects.

With that, I’ve been told my eyes because of their color. Otherwise…I view myself as thoroughly unremarkable. And I’m pretty much ok with that.

The make up or no make up question

For the most part….I’m ok without the makeup. I believe most women attempt to cover up that which is the most appealing --- which is to say “the real you”.

Freckles, “beauty” marks, scars --- those are the real you. I prefer to see them.

That said…I can’t deny that occasionally, if done well, makeup can look sexy.

What is with guys and anal sex? What is the fascination? I don't get it.

Never engaged in it. I don’t feel I’ve missed anything.


"For every trip to the vet, there's a car ride.", Satchel Pooch.

"At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost." -- Tad...from Craig's List


Posts: 8488 | Registered: Oct 2004 | From: North Atlanta Burbs
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does this thread make me look fat?


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6526 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
RegretfulHusband
♂ Member
Member # 41873
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, I'll confess to being the asker of the anal question on the other thread. To answer a couple questions...

1. If my wife ever wanted me to try something, I would. I May not want to, but it's only fair if I were to want it with her.

2. Yes, I can realize and admit a man is attractive, but I am not sexually attracted to them.

3. Regarding men and anal - not obsessed, but it's interesting. I am not making direct comparisons, but it's just like the fact that a mouth feels different than a vagina. Anal feels different than vaginal, etc. also, there are some (even on the other thread) who have confessed they get into it sometimes. I guess for me it's almost a goal of making her feel good that way, it's like a challenge. I know that sounds weird, and maybe even selfish, but it's true. It's like during sex putting a finger around there, and creating that "this is weird but I kind of likes and I'm not sure which pleasure/pain to focus on".

That's part of it, at least for me.


Me: FWH, 34
Her: BS, 33
Married: 6 years
Together: 10+ years
Kids: 2 Boys under 5

DDay1: 7+ years ago
DDay2: 1.5 years ago

"The truth shall set you free, but first it will make you miserable."


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: United States
Joanh
♀ Member
Member # 39146
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband tells me that he and the men he works with , when they are looking at porn mags or those site, etc. That they actually prefer *real* women pics. Is this something that is said to make a person feel better so you don't compare or do men prefer the real look of a woman?

He also says I look beautiful without the make up. :-)


And another I hear often, if women didn't live by their emotions, the world would be better?


BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6
Just....

Posts: 435 | Registered: Apr 2013
HeartFullOfHoles
♂ Member
Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does this thread make me look fat?
No, but the thread is starting to get a little fat!

I'm not really in to tattoos, but I would probably be okay with a few discrete ones.

Tried anal a few times it's certainly different. My wife didn't like it so end of story.

I personally prefer a woman who looks good without a bunch of makeup vs one who is using too much. To me makeup should be subtle and as an accent or highlight not a mask. So I guess my answer is I prefer natural as well.

Emotional drama is excessively tiring to me. I can work hard all day, but even a little emotional drama can wipe me out.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 176 | Registered: Mar 2014
saturnpatrick
♂ Member
Member # 35989
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Boobs, ass, or legs?

Because I can only focus on one at time. I'm whatever I'm looking at that given moment.

If playing pool, and wife is flirty, and bends down just right over the table -- BAM, I'm an ass man.

If washing the car, and she lowers her torso just right and I can see down her shirt -- BAM I'm a boobs man.

She's sitting in a char with short shorts and legs crossed? BAM - lovin those legs.

My favorite feature?

My wife says she thinks I'm sexy, but I just don't see it. I'm glad she thinks so though.

[This message edited by saturnpatrick at 1:03 AM, July 1st (Tuesday)]


BH
I typo therefore I edit.

Posts: 196 | Registered: Jun 2012
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What do men think about women with tattoos?

I've seen some really bad tattoos and some really good ones. I'm not into them myself but a nice tattoo on an attractive woman doesn't bother me.

What is with guys and anal sex?

I don't know. I tried it once with the ex, was sort of grossed out by it and then she got a hemorrhoid a few days later so we never did it again. Not my thing.

But here's a question, would any menz ever try anal? If you knew it would be pleasurable for you?

I also let the ex put her finger up my ass one time. I didn't like it but she thought it was hilarious. Definitely not into it.

Does this thread make me look fat?

No, it looks lovely on you.


Posts: 1734 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does this thread make me look fat?

No, it looks lovely on you.


Best answer ever, LOL!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6526 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
spond
♂ Member
Member # 41686
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you see us naked for the first time what are you thinking? Comparing to other women? What?
No comparison... just admiring.

How do you feel about a woman being the aggressor in sex?
I find this exciting.

What do men think about women with tattoos?
It doesn't bother me and I think it's more personal preference. I think it's more about good artwork on a good canvas.

How many men have had bi-curious thoughts?
Add me to the "No" column.

What is with guys and anal sex?
Tried it once with my first GF and that's been it. W asked me about it(she hasn't), but we haven't tried it together.



BH(me) | fWW
2 Kids - Married 2002
D-Day TT & EA | D-Day #2 PA
Reconciling

Posts: 413 | Registered: Dec 2013
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is not to start a porn war, nor to make any of you guys feel bad about viewing it. (I'm pretty sure all you guys that have been here a while already know how much I hate it, lol). I simply want to understand more about how men feel about it.

1) how old were you when you first viewed it?

2) if you had the power to totally eliminate porn off the face of the earth, would you?


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7099 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
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