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User Topic: Ask the menz...
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

porn:

first magazines when I was 10.

and yes I would eliminate it. it encourages objectification.


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 746 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) how old were you when you first viewed it?
I don't remember but likely in my teenage years. The internet had not taken off yet. It was likely an older cousin or friend had a nudie magazine like the ones they used to keep behind the counter in gas stations. Also Friday after dark on "skinemax". As you got older, you had the one friend with the VHS or DVD porno collection. Honestly the majority of men I know watch porn but aren't addicted. They also are married and as far as I know they are faithful. Also just like me, they prefer the real thing over porn anyday. I don't watch porn anymore because hoenstly I prefer the real thing (even though i ahve been on teh bus for 2 years now) and this leads to question 2.

2) if you had the power to totally eliminate porn off the face of the earth, would you?

Hell yes! To each his own of course but I have kids now. Shit changes when you have kids. My perspective on many things changed. The first time I had to change my daughter's diaper pretty much killed porn for me. Having a daughter instantly made porn stars people and not objects/actors if that makes sense. On top of that it's so much easier to access it now then it was in the 80's and early 90's. I never had a problem with porn but having kids did change my perspective on things. Also coming to this site changed my perspective. I don't have an addictive behavior when it comes to porn but some people do and I had NEVER seen that before coming to this site and reading some of the stories.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 8:49 AM, June 27th (Friday)]


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1914 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Jduff
♂ Member
Member # 41988
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband tells me that he and the men he works with , when they are looking at porn mags or those site, etc. That they actually prefer *real* women pics. Is this something that is said to make a person feel better so you don't compare or do men prefer the real look of a woman?
He also says I look beautiful without the make up. :-)

I definitely see *real* women as way, WAY more attractive than the airbrushed, surgically enhanced, porn models. For example, I know some women have a hang up about one breast being larger/smaller than the other but to me that's beautiful and symbolic of natural beauty. Size nor sag matters not to me. Same with this whole "shaved" hoo-ha rage, I just don't get what the attraction of it is. I prefer hairy hoo-ha. I prefer women do what makes them feel comfortable and secure with themselves by their choice, not under social, market, or peer pressure. Natural looks comfortable, comfortable makes you look confident and happy, which then makes you look approachable and desirable.


And another I hear often, if women didn't live by their emotions, the world would be better?

Well, maybe better "understood"?

[This message edited by Jduff at 8:55 AM, June 27th (Friday)]


Divorced - 5/23/14
Already in my New Beginning - :)

Posts: 570 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: texas
BrokenButTrying
♀ Member
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Inspired by the ask the womenz thread. What are the Menz thoughts and preferences on body hair on women? I think the majority of women shave/wax under arms and legs, but what about the rest?


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - 01/2010 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1258 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
Jduff
♂ Member
Member # 41988
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) how old were you when you first viewed it?

I think I was 7. I was in Japan, and their cultural view on porn is very different than what is in the U.S. At that time it was partially sensored on the privates. Mostly it was porn comics.


2) if you had the power to totally eliminate porn off the face of the earth, would you?

First, one has to define what "porn" is specifically that is unifiable agreed upon by all to be "objectionable". That is not a statement in support of the porn industry, BTW. But for matter of argument, I would thrown into the mix the various cheap steamy romance novels that women read. To me, that's "mind" porn. Why? Because men are sexually visual and women are sexually emotional. I find it a double standard to eliminate what is visually pleasing for men, but retain what is emotionally desirable for women. But then we start getting into book burning, arguing over definitions of what is and is not porn, etc, etc. When I look up reviews on the "50 shades" series, it's generally a "love it" or "hate it" division. I think that series is quite a litmus test for detecting the wayward mindset, but that's just my opinion.


Bottom line, we all have the power of choice. You actually do have to power to eliminate porn now according to your own criteria. Filter your own computers and block access to pay per views on you cable subscriptions. Avoid red light districts, topless bars and male strip clubs.

[This message edited by Jduff at 9:38 AM, June 27th (Friday)]


Divorced - 5/23/14
Already in my New Beginning - :)

Posts: 570 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: texas
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@ broken -

shaved or waxed "down there" too


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 555 | Registered: Jan 2014
AML04
♀ Member
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 10:03 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H and I both used porn/erotic stories pre-dday. I used it to MB (usually for self-soothing) and assumed he did the same.

After dday I found out he viewed/read stories even with no intention of MB and it seemed to be often. I find it hard to understand why someone would just look/read just because? Wouldn't it get you all worked up with no outlet?


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 875 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
Imissmyhusb
♀ Member
Member # 42734
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Question for menz abt BJs

Do u enjoy them most for arousal, pleasure or climax?
I will explain

Is it to start off w and then switch positions to do another act of sex as the main act?
Is it the main act then switch to climax another way?
Is it the way to climax?

One more- is swallowg an added bonus, or is it a necessary part of the bj


Married '03 - DD1 '01, DD2,3 '13, DD4 '14
3 kids 7y and 4y twins
me - sahm since '07, him - idk him any more
~~~~~~~~~
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.

Posts: 270 | Registered: Mar 2014
1owner
♂ Member
Member # 41157
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Body hair on women?

No hairy armpits.

I love smooth legs. A lot!!!

As far as "down there" goes:

When I first met my W, she had a small, trimmed "fur patch", later on "shaved" became the thing to do. I love it both ways. I would not want it to be a full blown, untrimmed "bush", however. It's in the way when doing certain things.

I really love smooth legs!!!!!!!!


Posts: 205 | Registered: Oct 2013
spond
♂ Member
Member # 41686
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@ Imissmyhusb

All of the above!!

Is it to start off w and then switch positions to do another act of sex as the main act? <= typically, though it's always fun for a little oral as a break between the main acts.

One more- is swallowg an added bonus, or is it a necessary part of the bj <= it's hotter when she swallows!!

@ broken - No hair down there or trimmed pretty short. Like William said... it gets in the way.

1. Porn first looked at when I was 12'ish.
2. I'm in 100% agreement with jduff.

[This message edited by spond at 10:47 AM, June 27th (Friday)]


BH(me) | fWW
2 Kids - Married 2002
D-Day TT & EA | D-Day #2 PA
Reconciling

Posts: 416 | Registered: Dec 2013
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kill me. That is all.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7113 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) how old were you when you first viewed it?

My cousin and I found some magazines stashed in the desert when I was probably 8 or 9.

2) if you had the power to totally eliminate porn off the face of the earth, would you?

I don't think it really does anybody any good, so I suppose I would.

What are the Menz thoughts and preferences on body hair on women? I think the majority of women shave/wax under arms and legs, but what about the rest?

I like it neat and tidy. I don't care if it's shaved, a patch or has lightning bolts cut into it but I don't want to combine flossing my teeth with going down there.


Posts: 1756 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
1owner
♂ Member
Member # 41157
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

About BJ's...

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, here goes:

Great for arousal, pleasure, and climax! Mix it up a little, don't follow the same script every time you have sex. It's not necessary every time at all, but adds to the total experience.

The best BJ I ever got from my W was when I got back from a week long business trip. Seems she missed me, soon as I got home, she got topless, sat me down on the couch and didn't stop until she swallowed.

Yes, I like it when she swallows, but, sometimes I just like to squirt it on her, face or body (sorry, TMI). But no, it's not necessary, BJ's usually lead into intercourse anyway.

Ladies, once in a while, give your man a BJ just because he is your man and you are his woman. It's really nice!

I can't believe I just typed all that! I'm so glad this is anonymous!


Posts: 205 | Registered: Oct 2013
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) how old were you when you first viewed it?

2) if you had the power to totally eliminate porn off the face of the earth, would you?

1. I don't remember exactly, 11 or 12. It was weird and funny and stupid.

2. This isn't really a legitimate question because it lacks all context.

I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that you are wearing or have worn articles of clothing made by exploited children somewhere in the world. Obviously you do that without knowledge and would choose not to were that knowledge available. You probably don't wear obviously insane clothing, or run up massive credit card debt buying clothes. Regardless of your choices, there is a vast number of exploited, abused children working in that industry.

So if you had the power to totally eliminate designer clothing from the face of the earth, would you?

No, I am not comparing porn to clothing. I am comparing abuse within the industries to connections with consumers between industries.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7495 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SG, I intended my, "would you eliminate porn" question more in sort of a fanciful, "if I were the King of the world, I would do this, that, or the other" kind of a way. Not in an argumentative kind of a way. (And no, I don't think you are being argumentative). More just in a sort of a, "well, porn means so little to me, and I believe over all it creates more harm than good within society, so I'll just wave my magic wand and make it disappear" kind of a way. Sort of like texting and driving, I believe it creates more harm than good, and I believe most people would easily be able to do without it. Or smoking in public, creates more harm than good, I'm a smoker, but I'm not going to fight it, I can live without smoking in public. That's all I'm going to say, cuz I don't want to turn into a dreaded "porn thread".


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7113 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I understand. Personally if something was unimportant to me then I wouldn't bother wasting the time, even if it was waving a magic wand. I'd try to figure out what else the wand could do.

eta:

btw, you should quit smoking. Cold turkey sticks. DO IT. Especially when I figure out how to wave that wand and make all the tobacco in the world go away forever.

/evilplans

[This message edited by StillGoing at 12:21 PM, June 27th (Friday)]


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7495 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
fst86411
♂ Member
Member # 41644
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First porn? Probably 10. My older brothers friend lived next door and he had a large collection.

Would I get rid of it? In a hart beat. Sad story on Easter of last year I caught my 6 year old googling naked girls. :( very sad day for me.

Body hair? I love a clean slate.... My wife on the other hand doesn't like it bald down there. Says it looks like a babies. I have no idea where she gets this from.

BJ's? Yes, yes, and yes. Sadly though its been 15 years for me to even remember what they feel like. To me they are about excepting all of me. When I get the courage up to ask the wife for one and get the look, that to me says that I'm disgusting how would you ever think that's ok. A huge rejection of me and me as a man. Conversely she loves it when I go down on her and that is ok. It ok with me as well cause I love doing that and bringing her pleasure. I usually wait till she has done some trimming though.


Met 1997
Married 2002
D-Day July 8, 2012

Who knows what went on?


Posts: 63 | Registered: Dec 2013
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks SG, I did quit for the first time last summer. Switched to vaping for a while, and then bad shit went down with DS again, and it threw me right back into tobacco. I'm am about to quit again, just trying to get myself psyched up to do it again. DS is just about to move out, so I can chill a bit. But I will take a few waves of the anti-cig wand if you feel like waving it my way. 😎


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7113 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad story on Easter of last year I caught my 6 year old googling naked girls. :( very sad day for me.
Ruh roh, I'm so sorry. That sucks big time.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7113 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if waving a wand at you is a good idea considering all the TMI stuff going on around here.

After the first 3 days you will stop punching walls and smashing your head into the desk. The puking will last awhile but after two weeks it stops hurting so much. YOU CAN DO IT.

Sorry, done jacking this thread. heh heh.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7495 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
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