Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: 4hazel (45322)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Ask the menz...
MindMonkey
♂ Member
Member # 41679
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do u enjoy them most for arousal, pleasure or climax?

I like the attention. With a BJ, it's all about my pleasure. With intercourse I've got to be mindful of what she likes and be responsive to a plethora of non-verbal cues. With a BJ, it's just pleasure.

Swallowing is only for extra-credit. I know I wouldn't want to, so can't expect her to. Since her A, she's started swallowing routinely to prove she wants all of me (I think). It's pretty hot.

She generally thinks of it as a prelude to the main act and only finishes me if I ask. I would prefer more of them to climax. Every time I go down on her I take her to climax. Seems fair to me.

What are the Menz thoughts and preferences on body hair on women? I think the majority of women shave/wax under arms and legs, but what about the rest?

Shaved or very short 'fur triangle'. Full bush or landing strips I don't get.


BH, 35, CoD, Military...sober since 6/17/14
FWW, EA/PA (x2) different OM coworkers
Reconciling since 8/1/13
100% ready to file at next dealbreaker...don't test me.

Posts: 209 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: NoVA
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Smooth legs. Got it. Really wish that laser hair removal stuff would come down in price..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ Stolen from asurvivor

Posts: 2299 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
cvs2kkids
♂ Member
Member # 41298
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Body hair on women?

No hairy armpits.

I love smooth legs. A lot!!!

As far as "down there" goes:

When I first met my W, she had a small, trimmed "fur patch", later on "shaved" became the thing to do. I love it both ways. I would not want it to be a full blown, untrimmed "bush", however. It's in the way when doing certain things.

I really love smooth legs!!!!!!!!

Yes to all.

In early foreplay, love to run my hands down clean shaven legs, never going for the "grand prize" till much later.


Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind


Posts: 234 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
cvs2kkids
♂ Member
Member # 41298
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do u enjoy them most for arousal, pleasure or climax?
I will explain

Is it to start off w and then switch positions to do another act of sex as the main act?
Is it the main act then switch to climax another way?
Is it the way to climax?

One more- is swallowg an added bonus, or is it a necessary part of the bj

1) never had it as a main act, always part of the main sex. Once and awhile she would go on too long and it caused me to climax (had to warn her though, no swallowing rule), then it was "my turn" until I recovered to carry on.

2) Swallowing is an added bonus, not a necessity. Probably more of a mental thing then actual pleasure.

3) If a futurer lover ever wants to go all the way and swallow... well YIPEE!!


Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind


Posts: 234 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just so I'm clear, on my body somewhere is an okay substitute for swallowing?


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ Stolen from asurvivor

Posts: 2299 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
1owner
♂ Member
Member # 41157
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ButterflyGirl,

Don't know about the laser hair removal, W just used a razor in the shower. I loved the results!!!!!!!!

Swallowing vs. on your body---both are great, change it up each time. I would give more detail about what I like, but...


Posts: 205 | Registered: Oct 2013
3kids30years
♀ Member
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would give more detail about what I like, but...

Go ahead - you're amongst friends
and anonymous!

Really, I'd love to know what turns on a man. I realize all men are different, but there are some similarities, right?


BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
TT until 9/02/13
NC broken 4/15/14
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
9/14 - getting better. we


Posts: 217 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
saturnpatrick
♂ Member
Member # 35989
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Swallowing vs other...

I think the big thing about swallowing is it says to the man "I don't think you are gross."

So if you do something else, just do it in such a way that your man doesn't feel gross. Personally, I think going in between her boobs would be just as hot as her swallowing. Basically if it gets anywhere on her and she responds with "wow!" instead of "eww!" I feel fricken awesome and even a little proud


BH
I typo therefore I edit.

Posts: 196 | Registered: Jun 2012
saturnpatrick
♂ Member
Member # 35989
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never thought that would be the subject of my 100th post....


BH
I typo therefore I edit.

Posts: 196 | Registered: Jun 2012
1owner
♂ Member
Member # 41157
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope I don't go to hell for this...

What I like concerning BJ's:

Deep and slow for me. Look me in the eye when you do it. Lots of licking, don't use your hands too much. Smile, make me know that you like it. I don't want it if it is a chore that you don't want to do! My W will sometimes wear a certain lipstick that goes so well with her skin complexion, it excites me even more. Not always in the bedroom, different places in the house.

As far as finishing, I love it when she swallows, but I don't think she likes to, I tell her when I'm close, if she wants to, she does. Like another poster said, since her A she is more giving to me in that regard. I like to squirt on her face and boobs, too. I heard it called a "pearl necklace" when it's on the boobs.

Somebody take me out back and shoot me please!


Posts: 205 | Registered: Oct 2013
BrokenButTrying
♀ Member
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys have been amazing. Thank you for being so honest, it's been really... informative!


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - 01/10 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1235 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
3kids30years
♀ Member
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys have been amazing. Thank you for being so honest, it's been really... informative!

Ditto - thank you!

(and WH thanks you too!)


BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
TT until 9/02/13
NC broken 4/15/14
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
9/14 - getting better. we


Posts: 217 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
HeartFullOfHoles
♂ Member
Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't remember when I saw my first naked woman magazine. Probably in my early teens. I always enjoyed looking at the real thing so never go into them. Porn movies, never really watched one. I remember one being on at a bachelor party many years ago, spent the evening in the kitchen talking with people. When I'm on a business trip occasionally I'm flipping the channel late at night and land on something inappropriate, but it doesn't take long to hit next. Does shopping for lingerie online count as seeing porn? What about the scantly clad woman calendars you see in so many blue-color establishments?

I like what Jduff and the others have said. I think there is certainly too much hard core porn, but where exactly do you draw the line?

I like smooth and the feeling of silk, etc. on smooth, but I would never ask a woman to do anything she wasn't comfortable doing.

BJs are great whatever they are used for. WW hates them and as far as I know never swallows. When it does happen she always has a towel to spit in. Like Patrick said it's best if you don't make us feel gross. It's also nice to have something that is all about us. I used to spend a huge amount of time focusing exclusively on my WW and then when she was done it was a quickie to finish things off since it was usually late by then.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 176 | Registered: Mar 2014
worried_lady
♀ Member
Member # 27605
Default  Posted: 2:54 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Late to the thread but have a question for the menz.

Man I have known for 18 years. We dated, broke up, he married somebody else. He knows my morals, he knows I would not have an affair with him. Why would he feel the need to call me every 6-9 months, just wanting to say hi. I block his number and he just finds another phone. Never expecting it but he keeps doing it and all will calm down, time passes I regain my footing. Then he calls again I tell him not to call and feel I have the message across until he calls again.

Why does he call and why won't he just leave me alone. I loved him and still after all the years it bothers me for days after he calls. He is not getting anything from the calls. I hang up. Why call?


Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly.

Posts: 463 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Texas
inknots
♀ Member
Member # 22132
Default  Posted: 3:51 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is really embarassing. :(

I have only been with my husband. We have been together 22 years, and I was 19 when we got together. So I have no barometer for what it is like with anyone else. I had multiple opptys to investigate when we were separated but I am not made that way. I don't regret that but now I have to come here and ask embarassing questions.

This is really hard to ask, even on an anonymous forum.

Being on top. I avoid it because I feel like my performance is being criticized and judged and found wanting. He said once I had no rhythm. So now I feel like I have absolutely no idea what to do or how to move. But I feel like it is his issue because if the woman is on top, isn't she supposed to set the pace? Isn't that the whole point of me being on top? And yet he always ends up taking control on the bottom and he never matches my rhythm, he starts doing his own thing and I am supposed to match it, which I admit is awkward for me for some reason.

So am I just bad or is it a him-thing or an us-thing? He made this remark right after his A and I guess I never got over it. He said it in a comparative way with the whoredog who had tits that looked to east and west with a vast expanse between them, whereas mine are awesome. So there is that. But I digress.

So now I have to make myself get on top because I feel like a failure.

Womenz can answer too.

[This message edited by inknots at 3:53 AM, June 28th (Saturday)]


Posts: 911 | Registered: Dec 2008
BrokenButTrying
♀ Member
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 4:15 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi inknots,

I'm a woman but I wanted to answer because I also had this problem.

Firstly, I'm sorry your husband was so insensitive and said that to you, how horrible.

Now onto the technical and TMI stuff!
Ok, so my understanding is that guys like different things... different strokes for different folks, right?!

My boyfriend from a previous relationship and H like completely different rhythms. What felt amazing for one didn't do it for the other. I don't want to discuss my H's preferences here but one preferred deep penetration and grinding (sorry there is no polite way to talk about this!) and the other preferred a more up and down rhythm.

My advice would be to talk to your husband about it. Say you really want to please him and do it the way he likes. Ask him what feels good and ask him to lie still but guide your hips with his hands. It comes down to communication, learning and exploring.

I hope that's helpful but I'm sure the menz will be able to offer much more relevant advice!

[This message edited by BrokenButTrying at 4:49 AM, June 28th (Saturday)]


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - 01/10 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1235 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@inknots/BBT - not an embarrassing question at all. Very good question. BBT hit it for the most part in that every guy AND gal will like different things when the woman is on top. Or any position for that matter.

Inknots, it's so NOT you. Please know that. My personal approach is I like everything a woman can do on top. I love up and down, I love grinding, I love it slow, I love it fast, sometimes I like to take control but I love it more when she takes control. Most importantly, my absolute favorite thing about a woman being on top, is watching her enjoy herself. Watching her be free in her sexuality to do what she wants, watching her really enjoy herself, watching her get into it, watching her take the lead, I ask is there anything sexier? *shudder*

I'm sorry you feel judged inknots. You are right in that you should be able to set the pace. At the same time, like anything else it can be about give and take. If he likes a certain aspect of you being on top, talk to him about it. Compromise. I know, it can be terrifying to talk to your significant other about sex, thus many of the questions in this thread. But communication in the bedroom is sooooo necessary. For this topic where you feel so badly about it, I would talk to him when you are both in a good place and not in the bedroom. Once you talk to him about it, he should be more accommodating to your needs and be more cognizant of "judging" you in the future. I would say without having another frame of reference, communication is all the more important for you. Do not be afraid to speak up
about your needs. Honestly there are so many things about enjoying a woman's sexuality when she's on top.

Bottom line, don't be afraid to take the lead and set the tone in this position. It should be about you. And it being about you is so erotic and sexy. Do what you want and like first and foremost. Ladies first and ladies often.

I have a lot to say on the bj topic too which I will have to do later. If interested I have a long response in AML04s thread. More specific to her, so I will share my general thoughts/preferences here later. Though for the most part it is, but a bj does not have to be all about the guy. Women can get something out of it too.... Control.

yop


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2179 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So now I feel like I have absolutely no idea what to do or how to move.

I like my W to be herself. She's said something like this, and I just wish she'd let her body take control and go with what feels good. If I says something about wanting something different, then I want her to think about it - and tell me to wait, if she doesn't want to change just yet.

Maybe I'll wrest control from her, maybe not.

I think the ultimate aim is to let one's body lead during sex. All the mind should do is to provide guidance, as in 'I think I'd enjoy this more if ...(thinking)... I did this!

[This message edited by sisoon at 9:53 AM, June 28th (Saturday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10341 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Inknots,

I had a similar issue with XSO, it was more about him "getting lost in his luvvin" than anything else. I hit his spot, and in the moment he wanted to climax. He took control to finish.

I would think XSO was a selfish lover IF he didn't redeem himself after.

.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5256 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
1owner
♂ Member
Member # 41157
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

inknots,

I have only been with my W, so here is my experience:

My W does not like to be on top much. She never really said why. When we do it that way, I can't feel the PIV connection as much, I have no idea why that is. Our rhythm is not as in tune as it is in other positions. Still, it is really enjoyable because I love looking at her body and having my hands all over her.

Like sisoon said, let your bodies lead. If it feels natural for one or the other of you to set the rhythm, let it happen. Even on top, my W had told me she liked me to set the rhythm.

Other positions may be better. W on top is a little awkward for us compared to other positions.


Posts: 205 | Registered: Oct 2013
Topic Posts: 798
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.