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User Topic: Ask the menz...
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I mean I was sitting having my coffee & reading paper Sunday morning and Mr Lucky comes out, drops trou and starts dancin & shakin at me - just sayin' good morning he says!

Nothing in this thread reminded me of my ex more than that ^^^

Weirdos


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2631 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are your emotional needs different from your ego needs?
Yes. To me my ego needs are about vanity and insecurity with a little pride thrown in. That doesn't constitute a true emotional need in my opinion even though emotions do become involved.
Is it possible to get bored of looking at the same naked woman every day?
No. It's about the interaction between the two people. The thing that changed with my xww and my xwgf before her was their attitude. I was just as attracted to them physically. It was the lack of connection. If anyone bases their lack of interest on that kind of "boredom" then they're far too shallow to really be in a long term relationship.
Also, when you see your SO naked on top of you, do you compare her mentally in that moment to other women you have been with?
No. I'm kind of lost in the moment.
Why don't men seem to want or need "date night"?
We did do the occasional date night as our budget allowed. I don't know if this explains it but the way I was raised men took women out on dates to impress them, to get them to like you. Whenever I took my gf out on dates after we'd been together several years, it felt like I was still required to do that to keep her interested. Almost like if I stopped courting her (for lack of a better description) then she would detach and eventually leave. I think that date nights for committed couples in most cases have evolved to being about what both of you want to do. If it isn't that way then it needs to change imho.
How do you feel about women who make more money than you?
I'm not bothered by it. My gf before I got married made more than me. I think it actually bothered her more than me simply because she became more materialistic over time.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4081 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
TrulyReconciled
♂ Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you feel about women who make more money than you?

It's great!

I mean I was sitting having my coffee & reading paper Sunday morning and Mr Lucky comes out, drops trou and starts dancin & shakin at me - just sayin' good morning he says!

I didn't know I was supposed to do that ...


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21430 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
plainpain
♀ Member
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H is highly social. During his A we went out every night, but I think he was avoiding intimacy with me. We generally go out on our anniversary. That's it.


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 809 | Registered: Jul 2013
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Plainpain:

Are you asking about date nights?

IMO they are great. Love the break in the daily routine. When kids were small and we had a sitter it was nice to get some one on one time with WW.

I dont really NEED a date night. But its nice when we do it.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is the fascination with your penis? I mean seriously, I don't have any such thing with my lady bits or my breasts like guys seem to have. I mean I was sitting having my coffee & reading paper Sunday morning and Mr Lucky comes out, drops trou and starts dancin & shakin at me - just sayin' good morning he says!
But seriously?

If it gets my WW to laugh I think its a good thing.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@plainpain

My H is highly social. During his A we went out every night, but I think he was avoiding intimacy with me. We generally go out on our anniversary. That's it.

So he's not an introvert. Have you spoken to him about him possibly avoiding intimacy with you? Maybe he's a bit depressed and ashamed of how he feels from the A?...which can result in not wanting to go out. Shouldn't be an excuse though. You should talk to him about this if you haven't. I know it's hard to. Believe me I know as this was one of the many topics that my wife and I had to force ourselves to discuss when we decided to move forward in our marriage. I would think that he would want to do out with his wife. I would think that most men would. What is his reason for not wanting to I guess is what I'm getting at. I think he's disconnected from you in this regard or you wouldn't be sitting at home all the time.


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2348 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why are guys so afraid of their own semen? You are not superman and it is not kryptonite. I don't think women react this way about their own taste, do they?

I'm not freaked out by it but, I dunno. I'd rather just not get it in my face or up my nose or something. There is an aversion to a degree but I don't think it's really rational and dunno where it comes from honestly. It's not like I won't kiss my wife after she's had my dick in her mouth though, that's just ungrateful. I mean she had my dick in her mouth. Hooray.

Why don't men seem to want or need "date night"? My H never seems to want to take me out - he does it because he feels I need it, but I don't think he ever thinks, "Hey, I want to go out and have some fun with my beautiful wife." Does it make a difference if a woman is looking "date ready"? I am a SAHM and I don't get 'dressed up' unless I know I am going out. I'm wondering if he doesn't think of me as "dating material". :)

I dunno, I like 'date night' but we don't get them very often. If my wife is going to doll herself up I'm probably more likely to want to do something with her other than go out among other people.

What is the fascination with your penis? I mean seriously, I don't have any such thing with my lady bits or my breasts like guys seem to have. I mean I was sitting having my coffee & reading paper Sunday morning and Mr Lucky comes out, drops trou and starts dancin & shakin at me - just sayin' good morning he says!

It's funny. Also, unlike other bodily humor, there is a remote possibility that something fun will come out of a situation like that. Unleashing a fart that rings like the bellow of an enraged dragon isn't going to get a lol out of you in the same context, and it's pretty much guaranteed NOT to involve sex at any point.

I dunno, maybe there are other reasons for other dudes. I don't really look at my dick with fascination. Dick humor is just funny. Like this:

http://youtu.be/O45jtEw0ONw


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7557 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if this has been asked already.

I am blessed ( ) with large breasts. Breast-fed two kids so yes, they sag. But they are not down to my belly button !

What do guys think of large natural breasts? They aren't like the fake ones where they stay in one place, mine slide around.

I'm self conscience about them. Are they a turn-off to guys BECAUSE they don't look like a couple of basketballs on my chest?

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6602 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Date nights: I like being with my W, even just knowing she's in another room. Dates aren't needed.

Also, I'm not very imaginative in finding things to do. My W is much better at it, which we found out because I made arranging dates a requirement for R. Who'da thunk it?


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10570 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
HeartFullOfHoles
♂ Member
Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have always made more money than anyone I dated, but I never had a problem with a successful woman or one who was willing to contribute financially to the relationship. In marriage it is supposed to be a team effort so should matter even less. Dating a successful/well compensated woman would likely be a breath of fresh air right now. I would think the best strategy is not to hide your success, but don't brag about it too much otherwise he might feel like a failure by comparison. The trick is probably finding someone who is not intimidated by your success and who is also not looking for someone to just support him.

I have the same problem when watching stereotypical romantic scenes and either try to close my eyes and ignore them or sometimes I get up and leave the room. The ED commercials are the hardest, because that's my age demographic. I think we discussed the comparison question earlier and my answer is still I never explicitly compare people. Though I may occasionally compare in the abstract. In a positive way this would be wow this is better than I ever remember. Anything that could be construed as a negative comparison likely comes out as I'm enjoying what you're doing, but doing this might be even better.

I never got bored looking at the same naked woman. I like a woman in lingerie so a new piece every once in a while was nice to add something new/interesting. Just as a note, I'm talking about lingerie that while still sexy is a bit more classy then the cheap tawdry crap that is found in so many online and physical stores.

I never had a problem kissing someone after a BJ so I guess I don't see it as a problem.

What lessened my appreciation for date night was spending most of the time talking about the kids, how she is feeling and what was bothering her. I always thought date night was supposed to be some time to go out and enjoy ourselves and emotionally connect not go have a nice dinner and listen to her complain about everything in her life. I already did that regularly at home. I may step on a few toes here, but why shouldn't a SAHM get dress up a bit for her husband when he comes home? My STBXWW spent years in sweats or pajamas and some days did not shower and this was not just when the kids were preschool age. I'm not saying you need to be in a dress, full makeup and a drink in your hand, but something more than what you slept in last night would be appreciated. Well I suppose there are a few things you could sleep in that would be acceptable, but I never experienced that!

I can't relate to Mr Lucky so no idea why he does that. I say good morning I don't dance it partially clothed. Maybe he was hoping it would excite you and see it as an invitation to get back in bed.

Early in this thread we said we just like breasts! Big, small, whatever we like them all. For me there is too big, but I believe those are always fake gone to extreme. Fake can be nice looking, but natural are my preference.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 183 | Registered: Mar 2014
TrulyReconciled
♂ Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What do guys think of large natural breasts?

Can't speak for all men but natural in any size is preferable to artificial.

Enjoy who you are!


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21430 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
needfriendshere
♀ Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Can't speak for all men but natural in any size is preferable to artificial".

Ding, ding, ding!!! Good answer, good answer! Thanks, TrulyReconciled! You see, mine are small - a whopping A cup. I wish they were bigger - always have. But I have noticed that, as I get older, they still stay firm and perky. So...that's good, right?

This chain is a stitch. Every time I visit it, it gets raunchier and raunchier. And it totally cracks me up!! THANK YOU to whoever started it!


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 445 | Registered: May 2014
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Can't speak for all men but natural in any size is preferable to artificial".

Absolutely.

-t2g


BH - no longer 49
3 DD's - (29, 25 and 18)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9192 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Can't speak for all men but natural in any size is preferable to artificial"

Think you just spoke for all men. Never had a conversation with any man where he said "Boy those fake breasts sure are fun." Its like laying your head down on a car tire.

If you prefer that fake breast stuff you might as go buy one of those blow up dolls, same effect, less talk.

[This message edited by DefiledRage at 8:36 PM, July 1st (Tuesday)]


M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 577 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Chicky
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Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...you might as go buy one of those blow up dolls, same effect, less talk.

Speaking from experience?


There's a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough.

Posts: 568 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Speaking from experience?

All theoretical of course


M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 577 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Want2babettrme
♂ New Member
Member # 43291
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ummm...raising hand. I confess, I've tasted mine. Kind of a thing when I was a teenager. Thought I was recycling testosterone. Riiiight. Have also given my STBXW oral after intercourse. So, tasting my own semen, no problem. Tasting my own semen kissing my partner, hasn't happened. My STBXW treats it like it is kryptonite.

Large natural breasts versus artificially enhanced, I'll just have to see to tell.

Date nights: I used to enjoy taking my spouse out to show her how much I appreciated her. I soured on date nights when they turned into a continual litany of my every fault and failing, past and present. Kind of put a damper on the evening.

Just kidding! Prefer large natural breasts. Big natural breasts good. Fake boobs not good. Well, not as good.

Regarding Mr. Lucky's dancing d!ck, I've done something like this. We're proud of our d!cks. I think maybe it's a modern man's mocking salute to caveman mating rituals.

Seriously, men have a special relationship with our d!cks. They are out front and centrally located. When it's time for action they are even more out front. Our d!cks are a source of pleasure to us, and we can use them as a source of pleasure to you, our ladies. I'd be lost without mine.

[This message edited by Want2babettrme at 11:03 PM, July 1st (Tuesday)]


Posts: 29 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: The Sunny South
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had a sad, rough weekend, so I'm returning to this thread for entertainment, and found this:
I mean I was sitting having my coffee & reading paper Sunday morning and Mr Lucky comes out, drops trou and starts dancin & shakin at me - just sayin' good morning he says!
Oh gawd, we married the same man, lol!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7135 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
TrulyReconciled
♂ Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All theoretical of course

Not according to your UPS driver ...


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21430 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
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