SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It's time for an "ask the menz" thread! Ever wanted an honest answer to some pesky little question about the menfolk? Now's your chance.

Ok, I'll start...

It seems apparent that almost every male on the planet at least fantasizes about having a ménage a trois. Now, my question is this...is the basic core of the fantasy just a desire to be with another woman, and that somehow calling it a ménage a trois just a way to legitimize that desire?

Next...

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 5:00 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]

I have never fantasized about menage a trois.

The "basic core" of my sexual fantasy is being alone with a woman who desires me.

My wife would be at the center of my fantasy and reality if she desired me. In fact, I would really have no need for fantasy if she did.

[This message edited by tfkeel at 2:44 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]

Not sure about every man on planet, but I think most, including mine, have been desire for two women at same time, not just another woman.

Now my question is, don't you think that fantasy is equally strong that women fantasize about two men??Most women I have ever talked to about sex have had that fantasy and a lot of them have done it, unfortunately including my wife without me to this point.

I think this is a pretty common fantasy of BOTH sexes.

Just my opinion. No statistics to back it up.

[This message edited by Badhurt at 2:46 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]

Honestly.. i have thought of both a FFM and MMF. I am very straight. So it is the menage a trois itself and not simply being with another woman.

Regardless.. the fantasy is generally better than the reality, so while my wife and I have discussed it, neither is in a hurry to pursue it.

My husband's big fantasy was to watch me had sex with another man.

I had zero interest in this. None.

I told him he may not have been my first, but he is, and will be, my last. I had/have no need for another man in my bed...and I never fantasized about it in my head either.

No thanks.

Edited because I'm posting from my kindle and it likes to do weird things.

[This message edited by confused615 at 2:50 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]

Ok PPGA. I'll bite. I'll admit that I used to have this fantasy. That's all it was though. If it came right down do it, not sure I would go through with it. A female coworker of mine used to suggest it to me during my single days. When I met my then girlfriend, now wife, after a few weeks of dating MrsYop my coworker made a pass at MrsYop...and since she's a member I'm not going to get into exactly how that came about. But lets say I was stunned and I asked her what she wanted to do about it. Remember we were only dating a few weeks and just getting to know each other. MrsYop said she wasn't into women and there would be no way that would happen. Wanna know what I felt? A huge sense of relief!!! I was very much into MrsYop (still am), and probably could not have handled it if she would have said yes.

That said part of the allure of that fantasy for me is that I have a very high drive and have been told that I "can wear a girl out". So to me the allure was more of having multiple people keep up with me vs. another woman (stranger) aspect.

[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 2:54 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]

I imagine it would be a huge ego stroke if a guy could satisfy *two* women, but I've really never been into it. My cousin had a threesome with an ex girlfriend and one of her friends one time and he said it was awkward and somewhat intimidating and he had unexpected (as he had never had them before) performance issues.

It's a fantasy because it's a wish fulfillment thing. I don't have any idea what it'd really be like but it sounds fun, in that "This would be totally all about me" kind of way.

Quick and PG version. I thought it would be great and all about them taking care of me. Wrong it's exhausting.

Eta..I was 23 and one was my gf at the time. Some alcohol consumption was involved. GF started the whole thing and I actually think she wanted her friend more than me.

[This message edited by SWAT70 at 3:48 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]

Now my question is, don't you think that fantasy is equally strong that women fantasize about two men??

Not this woman...

Right now, I would just be happy with a man finding me attractive and holding me.

Sex with 2 women?

Not for me. Frankly for me that would be too intimidating since I work hard at making my WW happy in *that way* 2 women would just be too much work.

I took come classes in literature a million years ago when I was at University. One thing a prof said that has stuck with me is that when 2 men are having sex with 1 woman. what is really happening is the 2 men are wanting to have sex with each other. But without being gay or bisexual the only way they can do that is by sharing a woman. And I suppose the same thing can be said about encounters of 2 women having sex with 1 man.

In a certain sense OM having sex with my WW while I was also (albeit unaware) strikes me as rape. Basically OM was raping me through the vehicle of my WW.

As for fantasies. I guess I am pretty mild. All I have ever wanted or hoped for was a truly intimate encounter. intimate in both physical and emotional areas. with ONE woman. I want to feel loved and wanted and above all safe. because without feeling safe can there be any real intimacy?

You have some wonderful answers Razor...... your wife is a lucky woman.

I wanna play!!

Okay it's only 2:00 in the afternoon here so it's kinda early for this kind of question (I usually have a glass of wine before asking internet strangers about lady bits.

What do men think about when they look at a hoo-ha? I'm not really asking about porn or strippers or whatever, but your wife right in front of you.

Is it just about what you know it will feel like?

Or is it visually appealing like boobs?

It's been so long since I've seen a "hoo-ha"... I like the way they look! They are very intricate and delicate.

Upon seeing the promised land.. what am I thinking?

Sudden blood loss kinda hampers coherent thought. But would *oh boy!* count as a thought?

What do men think about when they look at a hoo-ha?

OMG, she actually let me see her hoo-ha!

Seriously, maybe not that dramatic but I can speak for myself and my close friends. None of us care what it looke like down there. The fact that we are allowed to see it unencumbered by clothing is all we care about at that particular moment. We don't care if it's shaved, not shaved, and yes for the most part we know they all are different and unique in teh looks department.

ETA: I forgot to answer the visually appealing part. I honestly don't have an anwer for that one. By the time I get to see the "hoo-ha" there is generally so much other stuff about the women that I found appealing that I never really thought about it.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 3:56 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]

My wife's hoo-ha? That it's one of the most beautiful delicious things in the world and I want it every way possible.

I agree with Razor's professor.

At least...in my situation...I'm sure my husband's fantasy had more to do with the man than with me. I told him after dday that I had realized, when it came to that particular fantasy, he was going to use me....as bait.

Come fuck my hot wife...and..Hey...maybe I'll join in too...wink..wink.

Well fuck. I'm pissed again. And it's raining, so I can't go outside and set something on fire. Sigh. I'll settle for a bath.

[This message edited by confused615 at 3:56 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]

I seems apparent that almost every male on the planet at least fantasizes about having a ménage a trois. Now, my question is this...is the basic core of the fantasy just a desire to be with another woman, and that somehow calling it a ménage a trois just a way to legitimize that desire

This was one of my FWH's fantasies that the MOW tried to make come true....except unknowingly she picked a transvestite. They realized before they got together and had one pissed off Tranny on their hands. How I wish he figured out their real identities as I know he was trying to out them in order to get even for the rejection.

Before I started nursing I had A cup breasts that WH always said were perfect. Now that I'm a C cup he just oggles them all the time. Was he lying when he said I was perfect before?

[This message edited by katiescarlett at 4:01 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]