Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Phoenix2rise (45723)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Ask the menz...
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He wants to be sure that i hav what it takes to satisfy him and be consistent.

I had to read this several times to make sure I didn't just have something crazy in my eyes.

I'm tempted to say DTMFA here. He sounds like such an asshole.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 5-year-old daughter. Baby Green 2.0 expected June 2015!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 6909 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
brokeninfl
♀ Member
Member # 21896
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He wants to be sure that i hav what it takes to satisfy him and be consistent.

This makes me so mad. No. Just No. This isn't your fault. Period. You shouldn't have to "win" him back. BS! This didn't happen because you didn't have sex enough.

I am fuming.


"On the other side of fear lies freedom"

Me - 36 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.


Posts: 1074 | Registered: Dec 2008
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His issue is that i wasnt sexual towards him for so long and he lost his attraction toward me. He wants to be sure that i hav what it takes to satisfy him and be consistent.
My response to him would have to be...


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4082 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^^^^^^^ x1000000000000000000000000000000000!!!


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2351 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His issue is that i wasnt sexual towards him for so long and he lost his attraction toward me. He wants to be sure that i hav what it takes to satisfy him and be consistent.


Wow, that is some delusional thinking right there. So I am guessing he thinks that him not cheating again is all he has to do? Sounds like he and my WW have been hanging out together. She essentially said the same thing (among many other demands) after her A. Maybe just to fuck with him you need to tell him you want to go practice on a few other men for a while... just to make sure you have it all down before you want to try it with him again. Wouldn't want to see him dissatisfied now would we? -sarc

[This message edited by RyeBread at 9:44 AM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Whities tighties or color?

Color

2. Do you get turned off/on/neutral if the womenz showers before sex?

sex after shower....good, you both smell good, use shower as foreplay, better for entire body kissing sex.
sex before shower....good, your both sweaty and sticky, get down to business with some fricton.
In summary, either way....sex....good!

3. If your woman asks you to go to the store with a list, do you buy what is ONLY on the list or do you buy other things, too, because you are in there and the food is going to be consumed by you, too?

What am I 3 years old? (don't answer that )I'm buying my own shit too!

4.Do you SEE dust and pretend you don't??

Don't see it until it requires the vacuum. Not there if it's still in duster range.

5. Do you understand that PMS is NOT on our bucket list and gets worse with age WITHOUT our consent?

I've been conditioned to respond with a No Comment


Imissmyhusb
Your husband is wrong in so many ways I don't even know where to start. I'll just say this, it's him who should be jumping through hoops to get you back. If you tell him no sex under circumstances for 1 year, his immediate response should be "yes honey, whatever it takes honey, I love you honey, I'm sorry honey."
Granted withholding sex isn't healthy and would only increase the distance between you two. But hopefully you get my drift. Having him state thats he's waiting around to see if your going to give it up enough is juvenile and a slap in the face. Please don't put up with that, and don't let him blame-shift things onto you.

[This message edited by DefiledRage at 2:00 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 577 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Jduff
♂ Member
Member # 41988
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He says i take thgs out of context to make myself look like the poor victim, and him the crazy one.

Hmmmmm...this WH projects much on to you.


Divorced - 5/23/14
Already in my New Beginning - :)

Posts: 615 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: texas
Tickingtock
♀ Member
Member # 41411
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a question. I tend to dress scantily when I'm at home, either alone or with DH. I tend to wear nighties, or one of his shirts and lace panties or booty shorts (I swear there's a point to this TMI). But I wonder if it's somewhat counter intuitive to dress sexy all the time.

1) Do you think it's somewhat desensitizing? So it's not nearly as sexy as when a woman dresses sexy when she normally doesn't?

2) I dress like that 7 nights a week but only have sex about once a week. So sexy underwear does not signify sexy time. Does that make it less exciting to see? In other words, should I start wearing more clothes unless I'm planning to seduce him? (For the record I don't ever say no when he wants it. We have no kids etc. etc.).


Me: 31, exBGF, now married

Posts: 226 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: West Coast, USA
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

one of his shirts

seriously, talk to my ww please!

But to answer your question. Wear whats comfortable. Unless its a walmart screenprint t-shirt of unicorns with matching fuzzy pants.

Someday I promise I WILL burn them. Did I say that out loud?

You being comfortable and confident is more of a turn on than anything Victoria has in her closet.

Also is it even possible for men to become desensitized? I'm not sure it is....


M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 577 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Whities tighties or color?

Colored boxers.

2. Do you get turned off/on/neutral if the womenz showers before sex?

Sex is good. Shower or not. I suppose that would be a neutral.

3. If your woman asks you to go to the store with a list, do you buy what is ONLY on the list or do you buy other things, too, because you are in there and the food is going to be consumed by you, too?

Depends on how much of a hurry I'm in. I'll probably get something for myself.

4.Do you SEE dust and pretend you don't??

No.

5. Do you understand that PMS is NOT on our bucket list and gets worse with age WITHOUT our consent?

I do understand that but deep down inside, I have always felt that it isn't a good enough reason to treat someone who doesn't deserve it like shit. I imagine it sucks but doesn't take away your ability to function as an adult.

What is with spitting a lugey right on the sidewalk/parking lot/ in public??

Swallowing it is gross.

Just wondering if you like your partner to talk or make noise during the act? I always wondered if it was a turn on for men?

I like communication. I don't like waking up the neighbors.

Have any of u been so lucky as to have never had to work for a womans affection/sex?

I've never been the sort of guy who women flock to if that's the question.

His issue is that i wasnt sexual towards him for so long and he lost his attraction toward me. He wants to be sure that i hav what it takes to satisfy him and be consistent.

Sounds an awful lot like blame shifting to me. Maybe you should tell him to go fuck himself.

1) Do you think it's somewhat desensitizing? So it's not nearly as sexy as when a woman dresses sexy when she normally doesn't?

I don't think I could ever get tired of that.

2) I dress like that 7 nights a week but only have sex about once a week. So sexy underwear does not signify sexy time. Does that make it less exciting to see?

Nope!


Posts: 1804 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Tickingtock

1) Do you think it's somewhat desensitizing? So it's not nearly as sexy as when a woman dresses sexy when she normally doesn't?

Desensitizing? I don't thank that could ever possibly get old or languish me in any way. I can only imagine, but I would imagine that the most recent day would be as sexy as the first day.

2) I dress like that 7 nights a week but only have sex about once a week. So sexy underwear does not signify sexy time. Does that make it less exciting to see? In other words, should I start wearing more clothes unless I'm planning to seduce him? (For the record I don't ever say no when he wants it. We have no kids etc. etc.).

First, who are you dressing for? I'm guessing for yourself to make yourself feel good but also playing an artist in the game of seduction? Maybe just a little bit? Of course you are! Even if you are dressing sexy every night, that's playing out in our minds even if we don't touch the goods on that night. How could it not? Ultimately be yourself. Do what feels natural and good to you. Any decent guy will roll with you no matter how you dress in private...although I must say that your guy is one lucky man. It's always exciting and sexy to see. Only plan to wear more clothes if your pissed off about something.

eta - typos

[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 8:28 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2351 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go on vacation and you miss a lot. Here are some answers to some questions that date back to about 2 weeks ago:

My wife has given birth to 4 kids, and each time her vagina went back to normal size. I noticed no difference at all.

Yes, men absolutely fall head over heels in love. Why wouldn't we? We're human.

WWE is just silly fun, but not all men are into it. I occasionally watch for a few minutes now and then.

Silver-gray hair on a woman: never really regarded it as attractive or unattractive, just part of the overall package. An attractive woman of any age who is comfortable in her own skin is always appealing, though.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 2:00 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)]


Me (BS)-46, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1485 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it true that menz priorities are 1. Money 2. Women 3. Anything else he chooses ?

I can't speak for all men, but sometimes sports, food and beer take the top spot.

In all seriousness, I think most men prioritize their families and careers in the top two spots, although not always in the right order. As they mature, faith often competes for the top spot.

Fist fights without grudges?

I'm 45 and way past fighting days, but my experience is that the fight relieves all the tension that built up between the two guys, and if both conducted themselves honorably during the fight (from the standpoint of being courageous, tenacious, etc.), then they are often left with mutual respect and admiration.

When we ask 'what are you thinking about?' Are you really thinking about nothing? How is that possible?

I'm not sure I ever really think about nothing at all. There's a pretty active soundtrack that goes on in my head, so it's always kind of musical. If there's nothing else going on or I'm feeling stressed, I often do math equations. For some reason that seems to soothe. But nothing at all? Sounds blissful. Would love to try it sometimes.

I guess it's hard to believe there are men out there that would really say "no" if some chick is hitting on them at work and they are giving you ego kibbles.

Believe it. That describes me and just about every guy in the Menz thread, at least I think it does. To screw around on my wife would be an unspeakable act of betrayal. I'd never consider it. Forget physical acts of betrayal, in 18 years of marriage, I can't recall a single conversation with another woman that I wouldn't want my wife to overhear.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 2:17 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)]


Me (BS)-46, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1485 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) Do you think it's somewhat desensitizing? So it's not nearly as sexy as when a woman dresses sexy when she normally doesn't?
2) I dress like that 7 nights a week but only have sex about once a week. So sexy underwear does not signify sexy time. Does that make it less exciting to see?

It doesn't make it less exciting. For me I would just get used to the fact that while my SO is dressing sexy it is clearly for her benefit and not about initiating anything. So I would still like it as much but I might not react to it as much.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4082 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 5:59 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2
) I dress like that 7 nights a week but only have sex about once a week. So sexy underwear does not signify sexy time. Does that make it less exciting to see? In other words, should I start wearing more clothes unless I'm planning to seduce him? (For the record I don't ever say no when he wants it. We have no kids etc. etc.).


May I ask why only sex only happens once a week?

And no, dressing sexy does not desensitize.


-t2g


BH - no longer 49
3 DD's - (29, 25 and 18)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9194 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
redsox13
♂ Member
Member # 43391
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before I started nursing I had A cup breasts that WH always said were perfect. Now that I'm a C cup he just oggles them all the time. Was he lying when he said I was perfect before?

Questions no sane man will EVER answer honestly:
Are my breasts too small?
Are they too big?
Are they too droopy?
Etc.

Honestly, girls, when you ask these type of questions you don't REALLY expect us to be honest, do you?


BS - 45
WW - 43
In R for 5 years, still hurting but finally letting go

Posts: 302 | Registered: May 2014 | From: nh
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Believe it. That describes me and just about every guy in the Menz thread, at least I think it does. To screw around on my wife would be an unspeakable act of betrayal. I'd never consider it. Forget physical acts of betrayal, in 18 years of marriage, I can't recall a single conversation with another woman that I wouldn't want my wife to overhear.

It is so good to hear this, but so hard to believe it. Just feels like I'll never meet someone like that.


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1279 | Registered: Jul 2013
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, girls, when you ask these type of questions you don't REALLY expect us to be honest, do you?

Were I to ask H a similar question (and I used to), I'd want him to tell me what his favorite part of my boobs (or whatever) is. That he likes ________ about them (whatever his answer is). Not necessarily asking to hear what he doesn't like about them, even though it might accidentally come out that that's what I'm asking, KWIM? Anyway, I don't ask that question anymore, because it upsets him, it's unproductive, and I'm trying not to look for his validation anymore.

For some of us, we might know that our H really finds another girl attractive (be it a movie star or a girl in real life, whoever). Maybe he even tells us specific features he likes about her. We'd like to know the specific features our H likes about us. That's all.

[This message edited by silverhopes at 8:03 PM, July 9th (Wednesday)]


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3920 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Tickingtock
♀ Member
Member # 41411
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

May I ask why only sex only happens once a week?

I've been asking myself this very question.


Me: 31, exBGF, now married

Posts: 226 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: West Coast, USA
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Why does shopping for birthday and Christmas gifts for us create so much anxiety?

2. You say you want to eat healthy so I buy nutritious food but when you go to the store you come home with chips, Beer and BBQ sauce. What gives?

3. Why does it take you 20 minutes to go #2. I have kids to feed and laundry to fold that I need help with! What are you doing in there?


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5494 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 864
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.