This place has a lot of great resources, though nobody wants to wind up here to begin with. Check out the links in the Healing Library.
File the papers. He has a long-term history of this, 8 years? You deserve better. If he wants to try and R, and you want to try and R, then you guys can go from there. But for now, cover your bases for yourself and your kids
Take care of you and your children. You don't owe him an explanation or anything else.
You owe it to yourself to tell your Dr so you get the tests and care you need. You get a lawyer, a good one.