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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: BWs and pms
Daisy312
♀ Member
Member # 36813
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I'm 2 yrs out an this is a constant cycle. The week before my period, I get severely depressed n angry about the A. It's so bad I can barely function. Once I start, I'm fine again and R goes well. Anyone else go through this? Is there anything I can do? I don't want to take antidepressants daily but is there something I can take just for that week? Anything herbal? Thanks!

Posts: 262 | Registered: Sep 2012
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 6:42 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I take Lexapro for a couple days when I feel I'm going to have it. My body is sensitive to this medication and it works in a couple days. So I take about three a month...


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4886 | Registered: Dec 2010
Rocketqueen
♀ New Member
Member # 38119
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes! I go through the same thing month after month though my depression lasts through my period. And then I am fine.

It's awful :(


Married 6/16/01
10/25/11- trouble in the air
DDay 11/15/11 -she's "just a friend" co-worker
1/18/12 - continued contact - kicked WH out of house
1/29/12 WH admitted to PA
3/7/12 NC letter sent
Working on recovery

Posts: 29 | Registered: Jan 2013
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Four years out..and every month, for a few days, I am PISSED...sad..weepy...and PISSED.

I've learned that during this time I just need to stay busy...and keep my mouth shut.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7380 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
bionicgal
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG, I am so with you gals... as we speak!
Exercise helps. Talking helps. Awareness helps. Would try Lexaporo. . Some months it is unbearable. But, sometimes I think they are just feelings that need to be let out. Still struggling with this myself. The anger and irritation are one thing, but it is the depression I find so hard to deal with.

[This message edited by bionicgal at 7:54 AM, June 25th (Wednesday)]


me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is more like a mental break than a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1936 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Exhausted in OH
♀ Member
Member # 34340
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is me. I used to track my periods by chocolate cravings, now I track it by A related thoughts. Like Confused615, I try to stay busy and stay quiet.


BS 42(now 45), WH now 46
Married 15 (now 18!), together 22, 3 great kids - 15, 13, 10
DD Sept 2011 - 4mo PA; on DD also admitted to ONS in 2007
R going well
And now I realize...- Me OEA - old college friend
No longer exhausted nor in OH

Posts: 431 | Registered: Dec 2011
Daisy312
♀ Member
Member # 36813
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks ladies! I run and lift so the exercise isn't working. I think I will look into lexapro though. I have an ic and h has asked if I wanted to talk to the psych for meds. I like that it's something I could use as needed.

Posts: 262 | Registered: Sep 2012
sunvalley
♀ Member
Member # 42952
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Omg Ithought it was just me. The As seem unbearable during PMS. Emotional rollercoaster at its peak! Also noticin a trend of heart palps during PMS that could be stress linked? I have looked up some natural supplements for pms and am thinking I willgo that route. Cant say I was a big pms sufferer prior to dday...now I get why men get scared of pms! Haha

Posts: 507 | Registered: Mar 2014
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have always had mood swings during this time but of course, the A has exacerbated the sitch. I now chart my cycle. Day 19, I am BRUTAL. I am also brutal on Day 27 and 28. I wish I could just check into a motel! Still, I am REALLY trying to be conscience of what I am saying/doing and how I thinking bc thoughts can be so negative most the time anyway - they rev up during this time.

My Naturopath has me taking the B vitamins with a focus on B6. With B6 there is also the need to take B2 as the two work together. You can always get a multi B with some B6 on the side. The B's help us feel better. Increasing Magnesium is also supposed to help.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2270 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

t/j
Also noticin a trend of heart palps during PMS that could be stress linked?

If you keep getting heart palps sunvalley, you might want to have your thyroid checked. Mine usually does this around this time as well and I am on meds for hypothyroidism.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2270 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
seethelight
♀ Member
Member # 43513
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two years out and I still get angry, sad, upset periodically.

I never had PMS, so I don't think it's that.

For me, it's triggers.

I was diagnosed with post infidelity PTSD, and I was told that the triggers will always bring back the sadness and anger and it will be as intense as dday.

The good news is that apparently the episodes will be shorter and shorter over time, and I do find that to be true.

I used to be affected for days after a trigger, than hours and then minutes.

But the trigger always initiates a very intense response, that wanes more quickly with time.


ďIf two people truly have feelings for one another then they donít have an affair. They get a divorce and they sort out their feelings. You are accountable for the people you hold hostage in a marriage when your mind and heart refuse to fully commit

Posts: 1101 | Registered: May 2014
sunvalley
♀ Member
Member # 42952
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks LA....had thyroid issues in past but naturopath got them under control. PmDD can cause heart palps tooas can dehydration and stress. Just monitoring this month. If they cobtinue I will go in...would explain the 20lb weight gain too!

Posts: 507 | Registered: Mar 2014
918Mama
♀ Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know what you ladies are talking about! I NEVER get PMS and am a model of maintaining my emotions at all times.



Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 554 | Registered: Dec 2012
Scubachick
♀ Member
Member # 39906
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes!!! Dealing with this as we speak! We have 2 maybe 3 good weeks and then bam...all my unresolved questions and feelings come out with vengence and I cry...a lot! I even get on my own nerves.

Posts: 655 | Registered: Jul 2013
TheGivingTree
♀ New Member
Member # 43672
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Count me in on this fun little club! I didn't notice it, but FWH brought it to my attention.


Me: FBW, 48. Him: SAFWH, 57 (SFGary)
3 fantastic kids: DS 16, DS 15, DD 10
DDay 1: 1/8/13, multiple DDays with TT for an entire year.

Working hard at R.
If all you wanted was love, why would you use me up, cut me down, build a boat and sail aw


Posts: 41 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: San Francisco
MakingMyFuture
♀ Member
Member # 43530
Default  Posted: 1:47 AM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I have been pretty consistent my entire life. 2 Days before I start, I am on the prowl for sex. 1 Day before I start I find myself a little upset about something...maybe a tear wells up. Next morning, my sentence gets punctuated.

Post A:

3 Days before = Depressed/Hate my WH
2 Days before = Ranting/Laying on the Floor sobbing
1 Day before = same floor in bigger pile of tears and snot

I suggested to my WH that we both need to start putting a 3 day alert on our calendars. So I'm more selective in what I say, so he is more sensitive to my feelings, and so we both don't get hurt more.


When people show you who they really are, believe them - Maya Angelou

DDay 1 - 1/13, False Recovery Discovered more + Broken NC so DDay2= 7/14

9/9/14: filed for divorce

BW: 42 (me)
WH: 40 (him)


Posts: 97 | Registered: May 2014
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Count me in. The three days prior to my period are a total nightmare. I truly hate it. I am super sensitive to A triggers during that time. I cry. I rage. I feel like a monster. The day before I get my period, I become completely preoccupied with thinking about sex.

Once Aunt Flo visits, it's like the cloud lifts and I am able to think clearly again. It all makes me feel like a prisoner of my hormones.


BW: 41
WH: 48
Married 18 years. SD: 25 from his 1st. M. DS: 20 from 1st M. DD: 16 (autistic)

D-day: Oct. 2013 with ongoing revelations.
6 affairs, 1 OC, My sister was OW#5 with countless attempted A's.
Considering R but fully ready to D.


Posts: 290 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
BrokenheartedWif
♀ Member
Member # 40955
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've noticed the same thing. Thoughts, anger, etc. get worse just before as the hormones escalate.


He claims he loved me the whole time of his LTA. I'm not sure I'll survive his kind of love.

Posts: 60 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Central IN
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you tried upping your calcium 3-4 days before your cycle starts? It is supposed to help with pms. I found a smoothie that helps me. I tend to get super tired. It has lots of vitamins, calcium, iron. Maybe check with your dr and if needed have routine lab work done.

Posts: 35063 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 19

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