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Newest Member: dunnoY (44984)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Has anyone ever gone after the OW legally?
HeBrokeVows
♀ Member
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When my divorce is final, I would love to go after the OW who stole our marital money. Granted WH gave her thousands of dollars through money and gifts. We plan on using all that when dividing up marital property to settle but thinking out loud here. Can I still get the money back from her? Or am I searching for a revenge that isn't there. I so took the high road on this so far. I asked SI a few weeks ago about telling OW family and I didn't. There is so much to this still that will come out during discovery. I just wonder if I can or not.


Dday March 12, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.

Posts: 363 | Registered: Apr 2014
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can only recover once. So if significant marital money was spent on the OW, in my state at least, that can certainly be recovered during the divorce. Once you have settled that with STBX, you don't get a second chance to go after the same money from OW. STBX misappropriated the money, not her.

Alienation of affection is available in a small number of states if you really want to sue her. You would have to speak to a lawyer in your state to learn more about it, if it's available where you are. I've heard that's a tough one to win, though.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 737 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
HeBrokeVows
♀ Member
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I discussed with my lawyer when we filed. She stated we could get it back and she would file something during our process here. Then she discussed also when dividing up marital assets it can be used. So not sure if that's two different things. I do plan on talking to her more our next meeting next week. I guess I was wondering if I don't get the money back but I get more of our marital items instead, can I still go after her? I wouldn't if WH actually gives me the thousands back. Sorry if this is confusing. It just bothers me so much that she messed up a family and gets to go on with her life while we are forever changed.


Dday March 12, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.

Posts: 363 | Registered: Apr 2014
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have seriously considered going after the main OW legally, not for misappropriated money, but for adultery. In my state, adultery is actually a crime (class 4 misdemeanor). It's hard to prove and basically get a slap on the wrist, but it's the principle of the thing! And yes, her spouse can also press charges against my STBX. That's kind of a bonus for me.

However, I've decided that it is more attention than she deserves from me.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1779 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
trumanshow
♀ Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes I did-read my story. After 3 years as we were going to court she settled


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1748 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
HeBrokeVows
♀ Member
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for sharing your story. I want to look more into it or the crime of adultery! Illegal in my state too. I have been so silent so far but in the end I want her to walk away with even a slap on her wrist. She can't just get away with it I feel.


Dday March 12, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.

Posts: 363 | Registered: Apr 2014
Topic Posts: 6

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